Showing posts with label writer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writer. Show all posts

Friday, October 8, 2021

Things I Don't Understand...

 This world is a strange, beautiful, confusing, amazing, and weird place. And sometimes very annoying. This is what's bothering me today:

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels


1.  HOW MANY TIMES DOES MICHAEL MYERS HAVE TO BE KILLED BEFORE HE'S REALLY DEAD? What are we up to, like Halloween 6? Enough. There are so many great authors out there with fabulous scary stories. Make one of their books into a movie and move on from Michael, Jason, Freddy, the Blair Witch, etc. 

2. When you record a show, like, say the Buccaneers vs. Falcons game (Go Tom Brady!), or, a favorite TV show like Manifest, and it goes over a few minutes, the last few are cut off so I MISS THE ENDING!!!!!! I hate that. It made me say some bad words. Cut out a few commercials so it doesn't run past time! (At least I can watch it online... but still!)

3. How come we don't see more women like Halle Berry, Angelica Houston, Bette Midler, and other greats? These women are fabulous, yet... we see all roles played by 20-30 somethings. 

4. Why are most people ignorant when it comes to using apostrophes? "...more record's will be..." NONONONONONONO. NO APOSTROPHE! If it's plural, just add an s. If you're showing possession, like "Mikey's car" then yes, apostrophe and s. For all that's (contraction of that and is so yes, an apostrophe!) holy, LEARN THIS! 

5. WHY do my cats just nibble their food, then walk away, only to sneak back to eat from the other's bowl? IT'S THE SAME FOOD. EVERY. DAY.

There are a lot of things that annoy me and I don't understand, but I'll stop here. Next post, only positive things, to balance the energies.

Till then,

PEACE!

Char

Monday, October 5, 2020

Help Needed: English Pros and Non-Tech People

 Sometimes I wonder who creates and checks the Microsoft word processing software. I'm not talking about making the software run or fixing glitches, I'm talking about their so called 'grammar' expert.

(Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels)


'Cause they ain't no expert. 

Follow:

Those annoying underline dots where they insist that a semicolon is needed. Um, no. I put a comma for a reason. Like everything else in English grammar, there are rules that can, and sometimes should, be broken or ignored. This program does not recognize any digression. Even when warranted.

When I put in a rhetorical question, it demands a question mark. Ok, I'll give them that one even though there are instances when it is so obviously not a question. AI is only as smart as we make it (so far).

The thing that bugs me the most, other than the screwy way to add and modify headers? Insisting on commas where one isn't needed. I think I know better than you, Microsoft, about commas. No, I'm absolutely positive I know where to use commas better than you. I have an English degree and a journalism degree. I've had newspaper and magazine articles, and several books published. I write my own weekly blog and a monthly post for another. I'm in the middle of writing and/or revising several books. Your word processing software was created, most likely, by a techy person who writes code, not paragraphs or books. I think you're just going to have to trust me on this. Often times your program reminds me of those instructions that come with products from other nations where English is probably the last language they use, yet they print out directions that leave English-speaking people dumbfounded- and struggling to assemble or use the product. They need to hire someone whose native language is English to proofread.

I think, besides hiring a person with strong grammar skills, you need to hire a person like me. Very little tech skills so if I can't get the program to do what I want without screaming for my tech-savvy sons to help me, then you have a problem with the way the program works, or at least you need to simplify it. I wasn't born with computers and electronic games and such in my hands like the current generations, who are most likely writing your programs. To them, it's easy (unless we're talking about grammar). You have to give us 'more creative, less techy' people a break. And your 'help' button is mostly useless. Really. If it was easy to use, I could stop being afraid of my kids moving out, leaving me in a technological panic. 

There are other issues with the program, but I'll stop here, I think the message is clear. Hire an English major when you're working with the written language.  

Have a nice day.

Char 

Tuesday, April 7, 2020

And the Battle Continues....

More updates on the Refrigerator Poetry War...

The Mother:


It says "Men refuse to find their wings."

The Boys' response:


Gotta keep in mind that verbs, articles, and adjectives are very limited. Plus, they're not as literary as me.

Mom's comeback:


The boys were quick to rebut:


Ok, one more from Mom:



We'll see what the boys come up with...

Stay safe, and STAY HOME!

Char

Monday, January 27, 2020

Rocks and Hard Places

You know what that saying means; I'm stuck between two unpleasant places and neither one is appealing. Here's the sitch:

I wrote an MG story based on a literary classic, which brings said classic into the contemporary world (no, no more Jane Austen, I promise). I wanted to stay true to the classic written by Robert Louis Stevenson (that's all the clue I'm going to give you). But when I presented it for a critique by an editor out of one of the large publishing houses, while she liked the concept, she said it 'enabled white male rage.' She made other points, most of which I thought valid and could easily incorporate into my manuscript. But how to address the social aspect of 'white male rage', i.e. a main character, yes, who's white because that's how the classic was written almost 200 years ago, who messes around with science which changes him and not for the better. The editor saw this as an excuse for his behavior- he can't help himself from being violent. Now I see she has a point; white male character goes on rampage but it's not his fault. However, while I have it that my character's a violent person, all through the story is woven that he must take responsibility for his actions. The parent explains it like this; it's like being left-handed in a right-handed world. Yes, my main character, a boy, is different than almost everyone, and his condition makes him struggle, but he, ultimately, has the control and responsibility of his condition. He has to adjust, not the world. (And changing the race would only get me labeled racist because I'm white, so don't even go there.)

I pondered her comments. I switched the gender of the main character to female, thus breaking away from the classic, but it was a new twist and that can be a good thing. But that change was problematic all through the story. Maybe it's my own prejudices, but a girl would react totally different in almost all the conflicts. I managed to address most of the issues, but it was a domino effect which made the twisty ending, which I loved, improbable and clunky.

It is no longer my story, but someone else's. And I didn't feel their love or connection to the story; it seemed more like a 'PC run amok' story.

Here's the rock: I don't like the new story, especially the weaker ending.

Here's the hard place: Based on the editor's comments, it seems everything has to go through a PC filter or it won't get pubbed.

Hollywood seems to be the only place where this story could thrive. But, if I can't get this story published, it will die a lonely death in my drawer.

And just like Wiley E. Coyote trying to catch the Roadrunner, here's the boulder that falls on top to completely squash me: it's part of a classics revitalization trilogy. While the connection to the next book wouldn't be too problematic, if I can't get editors past the first book, the other two are just cumbersome piles of paper to be recycled.

Friends and colleagues have weighed in and it comes down to this:
  • Write your story.
  • They probably wouldn't pub it as is, so make the changes.
  • You can make this work.
It all comes down to writing a story I don't love, which generally doesn't work out well for writer, agent, or editor. Talk about impossible barriers. Or, keeping the basic storyline with the other suggestions the editor gave me. Finally, just chucking the whole story and starting the trilogy with the next book, featuring a female protagonist. 

I'll have to mull this one over. It disheartens me because these stories are a bridge between the classics I love to a contemporary time and place. As an English major and a former substitute teacher, this kills me that my brainchild must be so bastardized that it can pass PC filters which leaves the story barely alive.

Photo by Rene Asmussen from Pexels

What to do, what to do...

Char

Monday, December 23, 2019

it's That Time of Year...

The holidays are here. So....

Photo courtesy of Mohammed Reza Fathian, Pexels


MERRY CHRISTMAS
HAPPY HANNUKAH
HAPPY KWANZA
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I wish all peace, contentment, health and success. I will see you next year! 


Char

Monday, July 15, 2019

You, You, YOU BLOG TROLL!

It's not nice to call people names, but sometimes insulting someone is better than wishing evil things on them.

I'm talking specifically about Blog Trolls. You know these types of people; they leave comments to get free advertising. When I did a post about finding the right chair to work at my desk, I got a number of 'comments' thanking me for my post- and then listing their business which happens to be selling chairs. Of course I delete them. Sorry, if you don't buy my book or give me free advertising, you can't ride my blog coattails for your stuff.

But the worst are those trolls from other countries. When they respond in poor English, followed by a message in a foreign language, I get the feeling they are up to no good. Between all the phishing scams, hackers, and just crazy people out there, I'm taking no chances and blocking you.

And yet, they still keep trying to post.

A recent spate concern me; they are written in Arabic and with the world situation, last thing I need is the FBI or CIA or Homeland Security showing up at my door demanding to take my laptop. I'm already on their radar (or I was) when I did research for my Blonde OPS novel about guns, the First Lady, the Secret Service, Italy, and poisons (well poisons were for another novel). So you can see why I might be of interest to them. (And especially since I had my browser shut down more times than I could count.)

You can call me paranoid, and maybe you might call me racist, but if a reader responds- multiple times- in a foreign language, I'm taking the extreme precaution of deleting and blocking them. So whoever you are, you might as well STOP TROLLING ME. Stop wasting my time and pissing me off, or I will ask karma to find you and set your computer on fire (better yet, I wish for YOU to get hacked and have it held hostage so you have to send gift cards to get control back).


(Photo courtesy Pexels, Pixaby)

Internet trolls are uglier than gargoyles. 

And, nobody likes you. (If your mother knew what you were doing, she'd pull your ears.) So leave me alone, go to your room, and find more constructive ways to live your life. 

Rant over. 

Char

Monday, February 18, 2019

Take a Damn Break...

My stepdad was having knee replacement surgery. That meant a lot of time in hospital waiting rooms and night hours after my mom went to bed. Lots of time to finish a revision, do a critique, write blog posts, and network on social media.

Unless of course, you forget your laptop power cord which is a unique size that has to be specially ordered and wouldn't arrive until after you went home, and home was almost two hours away- too far for a quick retrieval.

Damn.

With all my notes and material on the laptop or at home, no way could I work on anything.

I was forced to take a break.

Photo Courtesy of Pexels, Alexander Dummer

So I read a book. Played Scrabble and Dominoes with my parents. Watched TV I had no interest in with them. Walked their dog. Cooked their favorite dishes. 

It made me slow down, appreciate blessings like precious time with family, reconnect with my love of reading for pleasure, enjoy a walk in springlike weather and notice that hyacinths and daffodils would soon be here.

I need to remind myself more often to just 'take a damn break.' An energized and refreshed writer is a better writer than one who is stressed and harried, looking to simply get something done. 

With the non-productive week behind me, I'm going to be even more busy, but that's okay. My mind is sharper and I'm happier. 

So take a damn break!

Char

Monday, October 1, 2018

Excessively Excessive

Our culture has a thing for excess. Whether it's super sizing our burgers, or getting a venti coffee, or spending $75 on stuff you don't really need to get free shipping. Too much of a good thing is never a good thing. Here's another illustration. I have to take medication for excess stomach acid. In order to save money, I buy the multi-pack.


Ok, good, smart move. Inside are three bottles:


In each bottle, is 14 (yes, FOURTEEN) pills:


Which means each bottle is less than one fourth filled. That's a lot of empty space (and plastic) to hold so few pills.

So, 42 pills fills my hand this much:


All 42 could fit into one bottle.

So two plastic bottles and a cardboard box were excess.

I've read some books that were as loaded with excess words- verbose dialogue, lengthy backstory, copious details. I won't reveal those books, but you've read them, or have your own list. You roll your eyes, and sigh, and either plow through (I admire you for that), or like me, you toss the book aside because you have better things to do with your time, like read a better book or write your own. And if you write, maybe... you need to look at your own word usage. A cool writer's trick is to either read your story aloud, or have someone else do it. You can also change the font, because this tricks the eye and brain into thinking they don't remember the words coming next, so it's like a new story. Repetitive words will pop out, or you can do a global search. There are programs designed to help check your work, like Online Editor, Text Analyzer, or Sentence Checker. Long sentences (if you run out of breath before you can finish the sentence, then the sentence is excessively long) should pop up too. While Pulitzer Prize winners and mega bestsellers can get away with excessiveness, we, the average writer, can't.

And since writing novels doesn't pay by the word, there's no need to be excessive.

Char


Monday, August 6, 2018

The Best Writing Isn't Always a Novel...

Or a play, a poem, an ode, a short story.

Sometimes it's the directions for a surge protector.

Because I (generally) follow the rules, I read the directions on a new surge protector (the kind where the sockets swivel to accommodate bigger plugs so that they don't block two outlets).



Here's some of the brilliant writing (and I mean that sincerely!) in the directions:

We truly hope it gives you peace of mind with your electronics and provides those added outlets where you need them most (not to mention, the snazzy new shape will encourage you to prominently display it in full view of your friends, colleagues, and pets).

This guide is not a replacement Yahtzee score sheet nor is it a map of the San Diego Zoo.

Logon the ol' interweb and head to our website to register your new PowerCurve3.4. It'll initiate the rock star treatment you so richly deserve...

Surge energy joule rating: 1080 joules (a joule is a measure of how much energy a surge protector can take before it bites the dust).

Response time... <1 Nanosecond

Please follow these cautionary statements. If you don't, your PowerCurve3.4 might break, your warranty will be voice, and you will b very unhappy with yourself.

Use indoors only and do not use near water. You listening, SCUBA guy?

Do not plug things in that will exceed the electrical ratings (see "Pointy Headed Stuff").

If you're feeling all handy and want to alter or repair your PowerCurve3.4... Don't.

Read it. Know it. There will be a quiz.

Advanced surge protection.....It's there waiting to act on your behalf when evil transient voltage rears its ugly head.

Green "grounded" Light...If this light doesn't come on, no bueno, use a different outlet. 

Blue "protected" Light...This peaceful beacon tells you everything's alright. If it goes out, your PowerCurve3.4 has absorbed a surge and sacrificed itself to save your devices. Shed a tear, then replace it.

On/Off Switch- For turning your PowerCurve3.4 on and uh, off. It also acts as a reset in case you're runnin' si hair dryers and trip the internal circuit breaker. Hint: don't do that.

Super Quick Setup:
1. Plug stuff into your PowerCurve3.4 Surge Protector.
2. Plug your PowerCurve3.4 into a grounded wall outlet.
3. Standard fist pump.

I'm still laughing and enjoyed this more than the current 'bestseller' I have on my nightstand. A shout out to 360 Electrical LLC for coolness. Concise information with a humorous twist. AND they got most of the punctuation right! (Minus 1 point for using 'alright' instead of 'all right'.) Kudos, tech writers! You have a career in writing!


Char




Monday, June 4, 2018

Word Games

Language fascinates me. (Hence, why I write.) I like to play around with, and yes, intentionally misuse words. But there's good precedence. Just think about the word 'mouser.' I'm guessing that someone had a cat, and that cat caught a lot of mice. Instead of saying that, they said she was a 'mouser.' Kind of like saying a person is a writer in place of 'that person writes.' A noun becomes a verb.

When I'm talking about my cats roaming through the decorative grasses in my back yard, I tell my sons the cats are 'jungling;'

Photo courtesy of Pexels, Mali Maeder

They are not prowling through a real jungle, but acting like they are. When my cats snuggle into the blanket, they are 'nesting,' not building a nest. (See how fun this is?)

But I'm not the only one who does this. Who first used the words:

texting

gaming

linking (as in chain-link smoking)

fragging (as in killing/wounding someone with a fragmentation device, i.e. grenade)

actualizing (to make actual or real)

Do you turn words on end, make a noun into a verb? Use them in unexpected ways? Try it, it's fun.

Char 

Monday, March 26, 2018

Step Up!

It's THAT time- to step up your writing and/or illustrating. Time to register for the NJ Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators annual conference this June in New Brunswick! Here's the info:

Who's going to be there

What workshops are going on

Who's giving critiques

Where can I register

Ok, I've done the work for you- gathered all the info in nice, tidy links. Click and read, then click and sign up!

Unfortunately, I won't be there this year, my baby is graduating (!!!!) close to that date and then we have a number of family obligations. Sometimes, you just can do it all. So 5 quick tips:

1- Have fun! Don't make it all about work. There is a cocktail hour, there are chances to chat and mingle. Relax!

2- Network. What good is going to the conference with all these fab EDITORS AND AGENTS and you don't chat them up? (don't be pushy or obnoxious or you'll never get published). They are there all weekend and unless they're busy giving a critique or presentation (or in the bathroom), say hello ask them about their fave books, what they're looking for, or share a joke. (It helps to know a bit about them before you chat. Do your homework for the ones you really want to impress!)

3- Be considerate. Don't give out copies of your manuscript. That's what e-queries are for. You'll get that info from Cathy, your Reg. Adv. AFTER the conference.

4- Don't waste the opportunity! Query and submit to all agents and editors that are a GOOD FIT for your writing. If an editor hates sci fi, don't be the jerk that sends them a space story.

5- Make friends. These are the same authors that may be next to you at book signings when you get pubbed, they may have the same agent and/or editor, they may love you and buy your books... So be nice, professional, funny, sweet, irreverent, and chill.

I wish you all good luck!

Char

Monday, April 24, 2017

1, 2, Book 3! Debut!

Here it is - the final cover in my Evolution Revolution series, Book 3, Simple Lessons!



While this is the last book in the series, there's nothing from keeping Jack my genius squirrel from coming back for a visit - maybe for a short story, maybe for one more book, maybe for another series. Stories never really do end, do they?

Cathy Thole-Daniels, the illustrator, exceeded all my expectations. She listened to my suggestions, explained why she chose certain images, textures, and scenes. We didn't have any difficulties working together. I stood back and let her take charge; she's the artistic talent right? I only got involved when Cathy asked my opinion or I felt a change was needed. (They were always small ones.)  I've said before that people have been drawn to the books because of the covers and the illustrations. I can't wait to see what the interior illustrations for Simple Lessons will look like!

While yesterday was World Book Day, celebrate during the week- buy a book from an Indie or less-well known author. We need the book love!

And stay tuned for a sneak peek at an interior illustration!

Char

Thursday, February 2, 2017

A Small Thing, A Memory So Big

See this?


These are those cheap rings you get out of a gumball dispenser, or in a goody bag from a kid's birthday party. I don't know where my son got them, but he scooped up three and gave them to me as a present (wasn't a holiday or my birthday). He knew I liked sparkly jewelry. He thought he was giving me something precious.

And he was. It was a gift of love from his heart, as valuable as the dandelion bouquets he used to collect for me so many times during the summer and spring. All he saw was the beauty. When I look at them, I see his youthful innocence, hear his giggles, feel his tight hugs, and even smell the fresh scent of baby powder.

Memories like that are fodder not only for a story, but for a character. I have a novel, The Recalling, that is based on the memories a girl has for someone she lost. Suddenly finding a necklace stirs up those memories--good and bad. The story develops around those memories and the necklace.

Not just things, but our senses can revitalize memories. The smell of salt water makes my heart ache for the eastern end of Long Island where I grew up from seventh grade until my twenties. It brings back memories of going to beach parties, getting severely stung by a jelly fish (in the face), having my cousin spend summers with me, doing work around the old farmhouse my parents were restoring, and getting my first car. It also brings the sadness of the loss of five friends in car accidents, one the boyfriend about whom The Recalling is based on, my parents' divorce, and everyone in the family going separate ways.

The taste of homemade bread and apple pie returns me to our farmhouse kitchen when my mother baked. We had a fireplace in the kitchen, where the cat and dog would sleep in front toasty by the fire during blustery winter days, and where my mom would put bread on the mantle in a bowl to rise.

Songs and music evoke remembrances; the theme from Jaws gave me the chills (I lived on Long Island where the movie was supposedly set and sometimes there were shark sightings). Certain church songs bring me to tears because the music and verse are deep in meaning. And I will always rock out to classic songs like Bruce Springsteen's Born in the USA because I have to sing and dance with it, like it's in my DNA.

Use your memory or make up one for your characters. In my middle grade novel, even Jack the gray squirrel has memories of his brother being eaten by Fox, and his mother searching for food, but never coming home. These memories make him cautious and wary for danger. We are, in some ways, defined by our past; we want to hide it, or forget it, or relive it, or use it. Memories are snatches of our past. If characters are to be believable, they have to be more than a person doing something in the present. Characters have to have regrets and longings, fears and desires, motivations and inhibitions. Memories are Nature's way of keeping our past ever present and fluid, able to be summoned.

No matter the age, culture, situation, everyone (and it's believed that animals do too) has memories. It should be true for characters as well.

Char

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Breathe It In..

Pool water.

Cilantro.

Fresh baked bread.

Pine trees.

Ocean breeze.

What links all these?

Smell.



And with each one, it brings to mind something specific, a memory. Scientists say our sense of smell is the strongest of the five. A particular scent can produce a memory so vivid that we can temporarily lose our sense of time and be brought back to the moment associated with that scent.

Pool water reminds me of summer, swimming like a dolphin, playing with my kids.

Cilantro makes me think of guacamole dip, chips, and an iced cold Corona, sitting on my patio on a summer day.

Fresh baked bread brings me back to my childhood, when my mom would make it from scratch and set it on the kitchen hearth to rise.

Pine trees mean Christmas, and trudging through the cold with my boys and husband, trying to find that perfect tree before our toes froze.

Ocean breezes whip up memories of my teen years, when I lived near the Long Island Sound. My friends and I would hang out at the beach, swimming, having bonfires, throwing parties and 'parking' (making out).

Whether you're a writer, reader, student of life or all three, enjoy that olfactory organ and breathe it all in.

Char

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Just. Do. It.


Yeah, you're busy. Who isn't?
I understand- you don't like/trust/want any of the candidates offered to win. That's the choice.
You feel your vote doesn't matter. Past elections prove you wrong.
Why did we fight two wars for independence (Revolutionary War, War of 1812- read your history) if you're not going to use the rights you have? That's like spending all your money on a fancy car--and letting it sit in the garage, unused.

Get off your lazy duff and exercise- your body, your mind, and your rights.

In some countries, voting your conscience is a death penalty. Be defiant- VOTE.

Char

Friday, April 11, 2014

Can You Juggle?


I never did learn to juggle three oranges because I didn't start off the right way, learning slowly.

How can you juggle slowly? Isn't there a law of physics that all objects fall at the same rate?

Like English, there are exceptions to every rule.

Would-be jugglers learn with scarves which float and descend slowly through the air, giving the student time to learn the movements necessary to keep the scarves alternating in perfect motion. The student then moves on to larger and larger objects.

It's like that with writing--juggling different storylines or entire novels. Or reading--when you have several half read novels on your nightstand; you have to start slowly and build.

Characters should juggle--no one's life is a series of issues, one after the other in a nice, neat orderly progression, making it easy for them to deal with each situation as it arises. Sometimes things happen all at once, or are a series of events with a break in between.

In literature or real life, we're all jugglers.

Char