Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Dear Derp...

Or Herpa-Derp if you're a female. (I realize I'm violating the Rule of Cool by using this word as it's only to be employed by teens, but bear with me. I'm desperate.)

Back to Derp and/or Herpa Derp. I don't know who (or what) you are, but you call all the time; from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. (You SERIOUSLY have no life. Pathetic.) When I answer, you don't. Really? If you're letting a computer dial my number and hope I'll hang on for a time so then you'll pick up when you hear a person's voice, then a) you're too slow, b) that's totally rude and unacceptable, and c) after failing so many times, one would think you'd give up. But, I guess stubborn persistence being one of your few talents, you keep on.

So, if just a few of the ten thousand people who hit Natalie Zaman's blog for her Derp post  http://nataliezaman.blogspot.com/  call "Unavailable" (that's the name that shows up on caller ID) at 1-800-XXX-XXX and annoy the hell out you like you have been doing to me, I figure we're square. If anyone finds out who this pest is (bet you wish you listened to your parents and studied harder so you wouldn't be in such a loser telemarketer job where everyone hates you), please let me know and I'll do a follow up post and let everyone else know so they can further annoy this Derp. Or Herpa Derp.

If you're working for a charity, then I hope they'll change their methods. Constantly harassing me with phone calls will not get you any money, and in fact, you will lose donations because I'm going to post which charity you are. If you're a political person (I'm an Independent, so I don't care who you are), I won't vote for you and will make sure I tell every person I can--and this blog will help--not to vote for you. If you're a university or college looking to interest my son in applying, you can cross yourself off the list because I do not want him to go to a college where you employ such low class methods; God only knows what you'll teach him. If you're anyone else, why they hell are you bothering me?

So, let's all get on our phones and call Unavailable at X-800-XXX-XXXX so they leave me the F alone.

Have a nice day! :)
UPDATE:  The number belonged to Federal Express. (that's why I removed it.) There is a package coming for my son, but why they don't have a better system for notifying me (uh, email anyone? real person to make call?) is beyond my guess since they are a multi-billion dollar company. And if no one answers, WHY DO THEY KEEP CALLING? I work mostly from home, and generally let calls go to voice mail because I don't want to be interrupted when writing. Unless you're a spouse, child, family member, co-author, agent, editor. And ESPECIALLY if you don't identify yourself. And if you're a telemarketer, I'll ignore regardless.

Mystery solved.


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Chicago, Chicago...

Sing it with me!

Okay, those are the only words to the song I know. So I'll show you some pics from the Romantic Times convention I went to with Natalie Zaman now that I've cleaned out my email spam box (563 idiots missed me.). Friday was kind of slow for us, so we slipped out with Amalie Howard and her lovely mom and aspiring author Cate Hart.

This is a famous tower (No, not the Sears one). You see it a lot in movies and stuff. I think people generally fall off and die. Thought we might perish if we didn't get our Chicago deep dish pizza! The waiter was close to my gnawing on his buff ankle if he came any later!

Chicago is located along the Chicago River (for you peeps who didn't have geography- me- or just plain don't remember all those names). You can walk along it on beautiful sidewalks, there are cafes, benches, gardens. It's just so breathtaking (at least when it's warm. May be a different story when it's blowing snow and ice).

And this is what signing day was like- so many authors in one place! We were located in Teen Alley (you're seeing the other half). My friends Amalie Howard and Kristi Cook and many new friends were on that side. On ours we were sitting next to award winning Franny Billingsley! Down our line were Cole Gibsen, Ann Aguirre, and so many (my brain is still fried from it all) I wish I could remember. Check Nat's blog, she collected autographs so she can tell you who was there. You can't see the lines for Anne Rice, le grande dame, or JR Ward (on fave list!). Wanted to see Mary Janice Davidson (my humor muse) but people wanted signed copies of Sirenz! Finally met Katelyn Torrey, of Kate's Tales of Books and Bands blog and some new Sirenz fans.

(Do NOT ask me about doing the worm dance at the YA pajama party. Bones are still creaking. The things we authors do to promote our books...)

It was fun and exhausting and silly and hard work and eye opening. Lots of new friends- authors, publicists, literary agent-mates, aspiring authors, fans. Next year the theme is:

Going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come....

Will we see you there?


Monday, April 9, 2012

A Forgotten Tradition - Revived

Last Sunday I was at Books of Wonder in NYC doing the YA Teen Author Fest signing (lots of great authors- hope you didn't miss it, but if you did, you missed a lot!). During a signing lull, a book lover/blogger came up to me and asked me to autograph a book- not Sirenz, but a book she was keeping of all the authors she'd met. (Let's face it, very few people can buy every book put out- that's why we desperately need our libraries!)

She was bringing back, via a suggestion from her mother, the Autograph Book. (These were very popular when I was in elementary school, before the younger grades started doing yearbooks. We would put funny poems like, "Roses are red, daisies are cream, my face is funny, but yours is a scream!") She got all the autographs of the authors there - I think there were 66 of us throughout the day!

So I'm imitating her with a twist- I'm collecting authors' autographs and their bookmarks. The journal I bought at Walmart for a few dollars has 265 pages and a pretty blue cover (it's like a journal).

That's a lot of signatures. Maybe when I fill it up, I'll keep it, or auction it off for charity, I don't know. Who knows, maybe I'll get the signature of a newbie author who turns into the next Anne Rice, John Green, Suzanne Collins, etc.

But Nat & I get first page. Now I just have to get her signature. All you authors, you're next!


Monday, April 2, 2012

This And That...

I don't have a clear subject, so I'm just going to write what comes to mind.

Ever heard of WriteGirl? http://www.writegirl.org/publications.html It's a nonprofit organization for high school girls to mentor them with creative writing and self-expression. The anthologies produced have won numerous awards, like winner of the London Book Festival for anthologies, Honorable mention in the New England Book Festival, and Finalist in the USA Best Books Non-Fiction Anthologies-all in 2011, and many more garnered over the years. Check it out.

My seeds are sprouting! I'm looking forward to moving them outside in their new planting bed (which hubby has to help me set up and soon!) I think they say it's safe to move them around May 1st, so I'll keep you updated on my little darlings and my attempt to eat healthy and not have to food shop as much this summer.

On Sunday I was signing books at the NYC Teen Author Festival At Books of Wonder. Those people know how to throw a signing and I met people with whom I've interacted via FB, email and Twitter, but hadn't met until then, like Jennifer Hubbard (The Secret Year, Try Not To Breathe), KM Walton (Cracked), Wendy Mass (The Candymakers, 13 Gifts and over 40 other works). I missed fellow Kidlit author Alissa Grosso (Popular, Ferocity Summer), but caught up with Margie Gelbwasser (Inconvenient, Pieces of Us). Others were there, but I didn't have much time to chat between signings and having lunch with my niece, Lauren, who works in the fashion industry and yes, was a muse for Sirenz (she wants a pair of Christian Loubotin shoes for her wedding that are studded with Swarovski crystals- over $3,000! That is a fashionista more than my character Sharisse!)

The rain cut short our visit, and it being Sunday, people had work on Monday morning, so back at home I was met with an email from our publicist, Kirsten Cappy of Curious City, with renderings from 9 art students on possible covers for Sirenz 3. What creativity these students have! We will be unveiling characters and covers, and some background on the students in the future, so stay tuned!

My kids are on Spring Break and we're hoping to get in two college visits for my middle son. (I just finished this with the older one!). Will have to drag the youngest, but at least I have a few years before that! We'll be looking at NJIT and maybe NYU, and if I can squeeze it in, Rutgers (my alma mater!) Wish my luck and fortitude...

And finally, Nat and I are finishing up our preparations for the Romantic Times convention in Chicago. It's going to be crazy-fun-chaotic-unbelievable, and I'm hoping to get one of my fave authors Anne Rice to sign a book (I have almost the complete collection!) and my fave humor writer, Mary Janice Davidson (Love the Undead series!) to sign something, but it will probably be too mobbed. There will be many other things to see, do, people to meet. Nat & I are hoping to escape one day and see what Chicago has to offer. Will take pics!

So, that's today. Hope you have a great week, with a little of this (good) and not too much of that (bad).