Excessively Excessive

Our culture has a thing for excess. Whether it's super sizing our burgers, or getting a venti coffee, or spending $75 on stuff you don't really need to get free shipping. Too much of a good thing is never a good thing. Here's another illustration. I have to take medication for excess stomach acid. In order to save money, I buy the multi-pack.

Ok, good, smart move. Inside are three bottles:

In each bottle, is 14 (yes, FOURTEEN) pills:

Which means each bottle is less than one fourth filled. That's a lot of empty space (and plastic) to hold so few pills.

So, 42 pills fills my hand this much:

All 42 could fit into one bottle.

So two plastic bottles and a cardboard box were excess.

I've read some books that were as loaded with excess words- verbose dialogue, lengthy backstory, copious details. I won't reveal those books, but you've read them, or have your own list. You roll your eyes, and sigh, and either plow through (I admire you for that), or like me, you toss the book aside because you have better things to do with your time, like read a better book or write your own. And if you write, maybe... you need to look at your own word usage. A cool writer's trick is to either read your story aloud, or have someone else do it. You can also change the font, because this tricks the eye and brain into thinking they don't remember the words coming next, so it's like a new story. Repetitive words will pop out, or you can do a global search. There are programs designed to help check your work, like Online Editor, Text Analyzer, or Sentence Checker. Long sentences (if you run out of breath before you can finish the sentence, then the sentence is excessively long) should pop up too. While Pulitzer Prize winners and mega bestsellers can get away with excessiveness, we, the average writer, can't.

And since writing novels doesn't pay by the word, there's no need to be excessive.

Char

Books You Didn't Know Were Banned

It's banned books week. Every year authors, librarians, bookseller, educators, readers, and so many others who love books and reading will discuss and debate about the unfairness and danger of banning books. They will point to Nazi and other repressive regimes as a stern warning not to go down that deceptive path.

And that's a good thing.

But let's talk about a genre of banned books that gets no notice; Indie books. As a hybrid author (both traditionally pubbed and indie publisher), I see this happening All. The. Time. No, our indie books don't make the lists- because we're ignored. Here's how we're banned:

Bookstores, both indie and Barnes & Noble, curl their lips when you mention your book is indie pubbed. Maybe read the book before you judge? There are plenty of indie books that are way better than some traditionally pubbed books. Even when I could promise that on my book launch I could sell 50+ copies (I had relatives and friends showing up), I still wasn't welcomed to hold my launch at a bookstore.

So many organizers of book festivals say that indie authors aren't welcome. I understand you don't want to be overrun with poorly written books (everyone thinks they're an author, but I've seen some celeb books that are horrendous yet some traditional publisher published them!). Why not check the books out? Ask us to submit a copy for review. Anyone should be able to tell within a few chapters if the book is acceptable. Or ask for proof of reviews from such trusted sources as Publishers Weekly, et al. Instead, indie authors are mostly banned from a majority of the book festivals, especially the big ones, which would greatly help indie author sales and publicity. (More than one indie book has sold well and been picked up by traditional publishers. Right, Amanda Hocking?)

Reviewers follow in step too. Only in the last few years has Publishers Weekly opened a section to review indie books called Booklife. Surprise! some of them got good or great reviews! Now if VOYA, Kirkus, School Library Journal, and the other major reviewers would do this, we indie authors might have a modicum chance of success.

Even Amazon, once the beacon of hope for indie publishers has recently thrown us under the bus by proposing allowing third parties selling copies of our books to place their 'Buy' button before us as the publisher. While Amazon still makes money, authors are cheated out of royalties. Amazon is doing it to traditional publishers too, so maybe they will fight back and form their own distributor, bypassing Amazon or at least making the selling field level. Indie authors have no David to fight the Amazon Goliath.

Without recognizing that we exist and allowing us a small crumb of attention, all these participants are effectively banning indie authors. It doesn't matter the reason they give, it's banning, plain and simple.

Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels

Char

I'm taking a break (a cliche) from cliches - and sharing this review by kids of my book Evolution Revolution: Simple Machines. Sometimes you have to do what makes you feel good. And kids loving my book and getting it makes me happy. Here's the review from kids at

Litpick 

Give it a listen. And if you're a teacher looking for STEM/STEAM books for middle graders with a fresh approach, (with resource guides for free!) let's talk! 

Char

Cliches... Running the Course...

Continuing my perusal of all things cliche, today I have four fresh ones. As a writer, I hear a ton of cliches, but in The Dictionary of Cliches by James Rogers, there are ones I haven't heard before (and I'm pretty sure a lot of you haven't either).

Grey Eminence: An influential figure in the background. Rogers writes that this saying is based on the life of Francois Leclerc du Tremblay, an adviser to Cardinal Richelieu, who advised King Louis XIII. Francois wasn't famous like the cardinal or the king, but apparently had a lot of unseen influence, akin to the cliche, "behind every successful man is a woman." Reading this my first thought went to Gandalf the Grey- grey in appearance, and a behind-the-scenes guy (at first) in the Lord of the Rings books.

High Dudgeon. I liked the sound of this. It means "a state of considerable anger, resentment or ill humor." I can picture this in a book of high fantasy with knights and swords and treachery. Rogers writes that "dudgeon" means "the hilt of a dagger" and if someone is really ticked, well, you might find him using that dagger against the person who angered them (although the Oxford English Dictionary doesn't agree.

Put the Arm On. This is a complicated way to say arrest, a 'gentler form' according to Rogers, as police officers are considered an 'arm of the law.' It was first used in 1943 by Raymond Chandler when he wrote Lady of the Lake. A second definition is to "borrow money or to ask for a loan." The phrase "putting an arm on him" appeared in the musical Pal Joey by John O'Hara.

Under the Counter. Rogers defines this as something "sold or done surreptitiously; a transaction done somewhat on the sly. The expression arose in World War II when so many storekeepers kept items under the counter for friends or good customers, since so many things were rationed or in short supply."

Photo by Erik Scheel from Pexels

So there you have four more expressions to avoid, although I'm thinking I'll be using  'grey eminence' sometime in my life. It's so old, no one really remembers it, and it was an obscure  British saying, so I think I'd be safe in using it now.

Until next week,


Char

Time to Rise and Shine!

Even when we know we shouldn't, we use cliches. They are comfortable. Familiar. Everyone knows what you mean when you use them.

But cliches are worn out. They are the tool of a lazy or unimaginative writer or speaker.
The thing is, there are soooo many cliches that it's not easy coming up with colorful alternatives. There are over 2,000. Yep. There's a whole book devoted to them, written by James Roberts, The Dictionary of Cliches. Some we all know, like 'hard as nails' or 'puppy love.' Some are so dated, that few readers today without a gray hair know them, like, 'you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear' or 'too many irons in the fire.' Some I hadn't heard of, like 'thin edge of the wedge.' ? What does that even mean? According to Roberts, it means:

     The beginning of a venture that is expected to expand; the leading edge of a program or activity. This "wedge" is the metal one, about six inches long, employed to split logs. Once you get the leading edge started, you have a good chance of splitting the wood (unless it is unseasoned or has the kind of grain that does not split readily). Anthony Trollope had the image in Doctor Thorne (1858), both as a chapter heading (The Small End of the Wedge) and as a description of a ploy by a woman against the doctor (there Trollope wrote "the little edge"). In 1884 The Graphic offered: "Cremation advocates have managed to get in the thin edge of the wedge in France."

Okay, I have little knowledge about splitting logs so I never would have guessed this.

Another one is 'go around Robin Hood's barn.' Take (often unnecessarily) a circuitous route; proceed by indirection. Robin Hood, a perhaps legendary figure, has represented since the 14th century the free spirit who robs the rich to pay the poor. He had no barn, since all his activities were outdoors, and so to go around Robin Hood's barn is a labored effort. The phrase is more recent than the legend, having first turned up in print in J. F. Kelley's Humors of Falconbridge (1854): "The way some folks have of going round 'Robin Hood's barn' to come at a thing.

Makes sense. And this is kind of fun. So every once in a while, I'll pull out the more obscure or ancient ones. (I'm wondering too, if they are so outdated no one remembers them, are they still cliches?)

Till then, we'll let sleeping dogs lie...

Photo by Christian Domingues from Pexels

Char

Time Is A Farce

In case you didn't hear, I had intestinal surgery on August 10th. My doctor said that most people felt good after a week and by six weeks, were basically back to bungee jumping normalcy. I downloaded two ebooks, packed a notebook to jot down some ideas for my next project, and added my tablet with games on it, into my hospital bag.

No, that's not me on the table; this is a stock photo courtesy of Pexels, Inc.

Not only did I not have the energy, strength, or ambition to touch any of them the three days I was in the hospital (I don't count surgery day- everyone's comatose all that day), but here it is over a week and a half later and I just answered emails, and started this post.

What happened to one week?

It's what I based my return to my routine on. Oh sure, I didn't think I could vacuum (oh, horror.) or work in my garden (oh well), and definitely not paint my office (darn). I could barely shuffle a hundred yards down the street. Nighttime was a blur of pain and sleeplessness. My stomach, boasting 4 incisions, throbbed with pain.

One week? I wanted to laugh, cry, and scream.

Writing is like that. You think ok, this book is going to be tough, but I'll power through and all will be well. Until you hit a glitch (like the complications during my surgery that delayed my healing). Maybe you went off on a tangent, don't know where, and have to start over. Or an editor, agent, or crit partner is saying there's a problem with the voice. Possibly you don't know how it ends. Whatever the issue, you feel off your game and getting back into the grind is the last thing you want to do. I hear you.

Something needs to prod you into action. For me, getting back into the pool, back to yoga, back to playing bells, back to writing/submitting/agent hunting motivated me, but it took a variety of pain and other medications to get me through that dark time. What gets you through a dark time? A Netflix binge with your cat and some Ben & Jerry's? A brisk jog in the park? Reading how many rejections Dr Suess got? Whatever you can tap into, use it. You have to be in the game in order to be a player.

I'm prepared (resigned?) to the fact that the six week window my doctor gave will prevail, rather than the week I'd planned on. I'm a fast healer, but even with my determination, time takes ts own sweet time. Just gotta hang in there.

See ya next week,

Char

The Best Writing Isn't Always a Novel...

Or a play, a poem, an ode, a short story.

Sometimes it's the directions for a surge protector.

Because I (generally) follow the rules, I read the directions on a new surge protector (the kind where the sockets swivel to accommodate bigger plugs so that they don't block two outlets).

Here's some of the brilliant writing (and I mean that sincerely!) in the directions:

We truly hope it gives you peace of mind with your electronics and provides those added outlets where you need them most (not to mention, the snazzy new shape will encourage you to prominently display it in full view of your friends, colleagues, and pets).

This guide is not a replacement Yahtzee score sheet nor is it a map of the San Diego Zoo.

Logon the ol' interweb and head to our website to register your new PowerCurve3.4. It'll initiate the rock star treatment you so richly deserve...

Surge energy joule rating: 1080 joules (a joule is a measure of how much energy a surge protector can take before it bites the dust).

Response time... <1 Nanosecond

Please follow these cautionary statements. If you don't, your PowerCurve3.4 might break, your warranty will be voice, and you will b very unhappy with yourself.

Use indoors only and do not use near water. You listening, SCUBA guy?

Do not plug things in that will exceed the electrical ratings (see "Pointy Headed Stuff").

If you're feeling all handy and want to alter or repair your PowerCurve3.4... Don't.

Read it. Know it. There will be a quiz.

Advanced surge protection.....It's there waiting to act on your behalf when evil transient voltage rears its ugly head.

Green "grounded" Light...If this light doesn't come on, no bueno, use a different outlet. 

Blue "protected" Light...This peaceful beacon tells you everything's alright. If it goes out, your PowerCurve3.4 has absorbed a surge and sacrificed itself to save your devices. Shed a tear, then replace it.

On/Off Switch- For turning your PowerCurve3.4 on and uh, off. It also acts as a reset in case you're runnin' si hair dryers and trip the internal circuit breaker. Hint: don't do that.

Super Quick Setup:
1. Plug stuff into your PowerCurve3.4 Surge Protector.
2. Plug your PowerCurve3.4 into a grounded wall outlet.
3. Standard fist pump.

I'm still laughing and enjoyed this more than the current 'bestseller' I have on my nightstand. A shout out to 360 Electrical LLC for coolness. Concise information with a humorous twist. AND they got most of the punctuation right! (Minus 1 point for using 'alright' instead of 'all right'.) Kudos, tech writers! You have a career in writing!


Char