5 Undeniable Truths About Life...

It's Monday, blog day. I'm keeping it short and maybe not so sweet with 5 truths that we all know:

1- If you have a front loading washing machine, to have to leave the door open to avoid that funky smell, mold, and mildew. (And they don't tell you this in product info or when you're going to buy it.)

2- The absolute BEST glass/window cleaner is a formula it took me years to figure out (without a degree in chemistry, but with simple, basic logic) - In a Windex bottle use this formula: 1/2 Windex, 1/4 white vinegar, 1/4 water. It takes a little longer for the glass to dry, but it comes out cleaner than anything I've found on the market. You're welcome.

3- Never wear any football jersey but an Eagles one if you're going to Philadelphia. You put your safety at risk.

4- No matter how many times you review/revise your manuscript, you always think you should do it 'one more time.'

5- I love Christmas but Christmas movies in July are just a big NO. You should be poolside, at the beach, hiking in the mountains, playing in the grass. There's enough time for Christmas and snow in November/December.

So I'm back to the revisions on my manuscript and praying that my laptop won't quit on me (it's been showing signs that it's end is near....)

Here's a nice pic of my front door to start your week that has nothing to do with anything I've written today, but I'm taking artistic license....

Welcome! Let's have a cup of tea!

Char

In the Writer's Garden

Anyone who knows me or has read my social media know that I have a meditation garden, love flowers, and feel bad for weeds (which are just misplaced plants). Over the winter, a heavy snowfall  broke a tree in half (we discovered later that the inside of the tree was rotted).

It landed on the wire fence, so both had to be removed. Two weeks ago, the tree was cut down and just this past weekend, I fixed the fence. (Yes, I did.) Without that tree, more sun shines on the garden. I had worked around the shade, planting sun-loving flowers in pots or on the outside edges. Now half the garden stood in the glare of the sun.

Changes had to be made.

It reminded me of my novels. You start to build one way, but things happen- critiques, editor/agent comments, lost plot threads, etc. It requires major changes. Some plants could stay where they were, some had to be moved, and some were crushed by the tree guys. I needed to add full sun plants, move around statues and objects of interest. In my novels I've had to change endings, kill off some characters and add others, and I've had to revise/add/delete language. What results is the same garden (book) but it's different.

Here are the results:

The long view

A new addition - red grass

My black-eyed Susans blooming. They are a lustful bunch- all over the place!

Calendra - I love the pink and green

A burgundy dracenia spike

A bird house crafted by YMCA camp kids thanking me for my donation

No garden is complete without a gazing ball

I have a statue for each son - this is Alec, my animal lover

This is Thomas, my Harry Potter/avid reader fan

This is Collin, my gardening buddy (when he was younger and wanted to help)

The fixed fence (I do nice work). See my pretty blue chair?

I turned the stump into a pedestal 

The first time my lily bloomed! 

My cats love the garden too!

So that's where I've spent some time. I hope my novel looks and turns out as good as my garden. With both, I don't follow traditional rules- I don't like stuffy, formal gardens, but I don't like chaos either. Same with my books; I hate angst and stereotypical characters but I love books that touch me emotionally. 

Now to fix that novel...

Char 

Staring Down the NaNoWriMo Deadline...

Well, NaNoWriMo is almost over. I have 4 days to write 14,622 words, or 3,656 words a day.

I probably won't make it.

But I'm not going to sweat it. I'm not giving up on my project, and I'll give it a shot. Here's why I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't make my goal:

1- Who the heck picked November for NaNoWriMo? Between Thanksgiving and Christmas and other end-of-year holidays, it was insanity to pick this month. Sometimes I feel it's a bit of an unfair challenge, like only people who 'really' want to finish their novel will succeed. Why didn't they choose March? Nothing going on in March but snowstorms and nasty weather, and everyone hoping for an early spring. That makes much more sense. So, with all the other time requirements I have to fulfill, I can only squeeze in so much more.

2- I'm going to finish this project. Just because I don't finish it in 30 days doesn't mean a thing. I've written a number of novels in 30 days, so I know I can do it. I just don't have to.

3- When a novel is written, that's only half the story. There are plenty of novels sitting in drawers or closets (and I'm guilty of that), that need a complete overhaul. NaNoRevMo (revision month) is in June. JUNE???? When there are graduations, weddings, vacations, yard work? Seriously some people planning this whole thing are calendar-challenged. If NaNoWriMo was in March, the NaNoRevMo would be in October. Perfect. Am I the only person to think of this? Revising in December is also hard, but to finish off my NaNoWriMo novel? I can totally do that, I only have 14,522 words to go.

4- If I choose to finish this novel later, it's because I have several projects in the air and if one of them comes to fruition, it's going to take my time and attention. I'm querying agents, doing blog posts, doing book events. If my one big project comes through, all those listed above will go on a back burner, along with family dinners. So, it's a matter of priorities.

5- There's always next year, if I feel so inclined, but I usually don't wait until NaNoWriMo to write the next book, I'll write it after and before November. I do NaNoWriMo for fun, to challenge myself and cheer on others. I'm not going to let it give me heartburn or sleepless nights.

Next post, I'll let you know how I did. In the meantime, I'm encouraging you not to give up, as I won't. Some will succeed, some won't, but in the end, it all depends on finishing the novel, not how fast you got it done, and polishing the novel, not just sitting back after the writing.

Char

There's Always Room For Improvement...

I'm pressed for time this week, so I'm going to admit my 5 biggest flaws; my writing flaws that is.

1.  I hate to revise. I don't mind once, maybe three times, but I hate doing it over and over and over. That's the business though; revise until you, the agent, or the editor are satisfied.

2.  Once I've worked on a novel for about a year, I'm done. I want to move onto something else. Of course I polish and revise and rework, but sometimes I take little breaks in between to work on a new shiny. I'm not one of those people who re-read a certain book every year.

3.  It bothers me when I'm told to cut some aspect of my work-by editor, agent, critique group, etc. that I absolutely love. I rave, rant, clean the house like a crazy person, and procrastinate. Then, I calm down and make the changes. Mostly. Some, I just can't bring myself to do.

4.  I keep writing down new ideas, even though I have so many projects in various states of progress. I have files full of ideas. I want to write them all, but unless I could just write them and let someone else edit them, they won't get written...

5.  If I could, I would just write and sign books at events. I hate doing the PR footwork. A personal assistant would be a dream come true. Would also keep my office clean.

I'm sure I have other faults, but I'm pressed for time. And I don't want to admit to anything else.

Now I have to go back to finishing those hated edits.

Char

Going Into Survival Mode....

This is what Thanksgiving looked like:

The food began with the antipasto:

(Obviously my husband is Italian, so we started with this traditional dish before we moved to the pasta, then the turkey, then dessert.) When we were finished (six and a half hours later) this is what I felt like:

Now the Christmas/Channukah/New Year's season has begun. I love the holidays, but yes, they can be a bit frantic. There is so much I want to do: see concerts, decorate, get together with friends, visit family, revise that NaNoWriMo novel, do well at books signings, etc. Sometimes it can make a person anxious, depressed, angry, sad, exhausted, disappointed, and/or afraid. For those of us with loved ones-family or friends-who suffer from a chronic condition, whether it's a physical or mental illness, it's important to keep a handle on things that are stressors. The National Alliance on Mental Illness put together these guidelines which they share every holiday season and I want to pass along to everyone:

1)      Talk with one another about your expectations of the holiday season. In particular ask your loved one what they envision as the best scenario and then discuss your own… make concessions on both sides and have a plan for dealing with problems.

 

2)      Anticipate problem areas such as situations that your relative (and you) cannot handle well.

3)      Make some strategic plans for handling these potential hot spots.

 

4)      Remember, visitors can always rent a hotel room. Neither you nor they have to stay with extended family. Limit time exposed to relatives or friends that hurt more than help.

5)      Develop a secret code that means “get me out of here!”

6)      Don’t let adult children fall back into the “child” role when visiting.

7)      Don’t over-schedule yourselves.

8)      Work on creating good memories.

9)      Start new family traditions. Do what is most comfortable.

10)   Remember to focus on your relationships and not on getting things done.

11)   Make time to have fun or attain peace and quiet.

12)   If there’s something you really don’t want to do during the holidays, say so.

13)   Be gentle with yourself. The ideal holiday doesn’t exist.

14)   Don’t compare yourself with others, or judge yourself or others.

15)   Find a place where you can be completely alone each day even if it is just for a little while and retreat.

16)   Prioritize what is important – Eliminate what is not.

17)   Learn the difference between complaining that relieves tension and complaining that causes it.

18)   At the end of each day focus on what is good.

19)   As you fall asleep make a realistic mental list of what is crucial to be accomplished next day. You really should blank on this one because nothing beats taking care of yourself and your loved one and avoiding stress is important.

20)   Learn to say NO, thank you.

21)   Holiday cards … not really necessary … or just write them out as you get them from others if it bothers you.

22)   Gifts … does anyone really need another kitchen gadget? Give the gift of time or food. Discuss in advance that you won’t be exchanging gifts, very understandable in this current economic environment.

23)   Decorations … keep it simple. Don’t make work for yourself unless it is a source of relaxation and pleasure.

24)   Visitors, company … Holidays are too intense. See them after holidays. Set aside a time. Large crowds can be disturbing and bring about different opinions and expectations. Our ill relatives don’t understand that when company is there your attention has to be focused on them.

25)   Go out and do something different … go to a movie, walk in a park, ride the ferry. You do not need to do anything.

 

26)   Make plans that exclude your ill relative – if it is ok with them then it should be ok with you. Guilt should not be part of the decision.

 

Some helpful websites:

 

The National Alliance on Mental Illness http://www.nami.org/

PsychCentral holiday survival guide: http://psychcentral.com/holidays/

Psychology Today holiday tips: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/life-without-anxiety/201212/10-tips-surviving-the-holidays

There is nothing to 'celebrate' if we're miserable, so I wish you all a comfortable, peaceful, holiday.

Char

Artwork courtesy of Microsoft Clip Art
Holiday list courtesy of NAMI of Somerset County