Time to Rise and Shine!

Even when we know we shouldn't, we use cliches. They are comfortable. Familiar. Everyone knows what you mean when you use them.

But cliches are worn out. They are the tool of a lazy or unimaginative writer or speaker.
The thing is, there are soooo many cliches that it's not easy coming up with colorful alternatives. There are over 2,000. Yep. There's a whole book devoted to them, written by James Roberts, The Dictionary of Cliches. Some we all know, like 'hard as nails' or 'puppy love.' Some are so dated, that few readers today without a gray hair know them, like, 'you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear' or 'too many irons in the fire.' Some I hadn't heard of, like 'thin edge of the wedge.' ? What does that even mean? According to Roberts, it means:

     The beginning of a venture that is expected to expand; the leading edge of a program or activity. This "wedge" is the metal one, about six inches long, employed to split logs. Once you get the leading edge started, you have a good chance of splitting the wood (unless it is unseasoned or has the kind of grain that does not split readily). Anthony Trollope had the image in Doctor Thorne (1858), both as a chapter heading (The Small End of the Wedge) and as a description of a ploy by a woman against the doctor (there Trollope wrote "the little edge"). In 1884 The Graphic offered: "Cremation advocates have managed to get in the thin edge of the wedge in France."

Okay, I have little knowledge about splitting logs so I never would have guessed this.

Another one is 'go around Robin Hood's barn.' Take (often unnecessarily) a circuitous route; proceed by indirection. Robin Hood, a perhaps legendary figure, has represented since the 14th century the free spirit who robs the rich to pay the poor. He had no barn, since all his activities were outdoors, and so to go around Robin Hood's barn is a labored effort. The phrase is more recent than the legend, having first turned up in print in J. F. Kelley's Humors of Falconbridge (1854): "The way some folks have of going round 'Robin Hood's barn' to come at a thing.

Makes sense. And this is kind of fun. So every once in a while, I'll pull out the more obscure or ancient ones. (I'm wondering too, if they are so outdated no one remembers them, are they still cliches?)

Till then, we'll let sleeping dogs lie...

Photo by Christian Domingues from Pexels

Char

Time Is A Farce

In case you didn't hear, I had intestinal surgery on August 10th. My doctor said that most people felt good after a week and by six weeks, were basically back to bungee jumping normalcy. I downloaded two ebooks, packed a notebook to jot down some ideas for my next project, and added my tablet with games on it, into my hospital bag.

No, that's not me on the table; this is a stock photo courtesy of Pexels, Inc.

Not only did I not have the energy, strength, or ambition to touch any of them the three days I was in the hospital (I don't count surgery day- everyone's comatose all that day), but here it is over a week and a half later and I just answered emails, and started this post.

What happened to one week?

It's what I based my return to my routine on. Oh sure, I didn't think I could vacuum (oh, horror.) or work in my garden (oh well), and definitely not paint my office (darn). I could barely shuffle a hundred yards down the street. Nighttime was a blur of pain and sleeplessness. My stomach, boasting 4 incisions, throbbed with pain.

One week? I wanted to laugh, cry, and scream.

Writing is like that. You think ok, this book is going to be tough, but I'll power through and all will be well. Until you hit a glitch (like the complications during my surgery that delayed my healing). Maybe you went off on a tangent, don't know where, and have to start over. Or an editor, agent, or crit partner is saying there's a problem with the voice. Possibly you don't know how it ends. Whatever the issue, you feel off your game and getting back into the grind is the last thing you want to do. I hear you.

Something needs to prod you into action. For me, getting back into the pool, back to yoga, back to playing bells, back to writing/submitting/agent hunting motivated me, but it took a variety of pain and other medications to get me through that dark time. What gets you through a dark time? A Netflix binge with your cat and some Ben & Jerry's? A brisk jog in the park? Reading how many rejections Dr Suess got? Whatever you can tap into, use it. You have to be in the game in order to be a player.

I'm prepared (resigned?) to the fact that the six week window my doctor gave will prevail, rather than the week I'd planned on. I'm a fast healer, but even with my determination, time takes ts own sweet time. Just gotta hang in there.

See ya next week,

Char

The Best Writing Isn't Always a Novel...

Or a play, a poem, an ode, a short story.

Sometimes it's the directions for a surge protector.

Because I (generally) follow the rules, I read the directions on a new surge protector (the kind where the sockets swivel to accommodate bigger plugs so that they don't block two outlets).

Here's some of the brilliant writing (and I mean that sincerely!) in the directions:

We truly hope it gives you peace of mind with your electronics and provides those added outlets where you need them most (not to mention, the snazzy new shape will encourage you to prominently display it in full view of your friends, colleagues, and pets).

This guide is not a replacement Yahtzee score sheet nor is it a map of the San Diego Zoo.

Logon the ol' interweb and head to our website to register your new PowerCurve3.4. It'll initiate the rock star treatment you so richly deserve...

Surge energy joule rating: 1080 joules (a joule is a measure of how much energy a surge protector can take before it bites the dust).

Response time... <1 Nanosecond

Please follow these cautionary statements. If you don't, your PowerCurve3.4 might break, your warranty will be voice, and you will b very unhappy with yourself.

Use indoors only and do not use near water. You listening, SCUBA guy?

Do not plug things in that will exceed the electrical ratings (see "Pointy Headed Stuff").

If you're feeling all handy and want to alter or repair your PowerCurve3.4... Don't.

Read it. Know it. There will be a quiz.

Advanced surge protection.....It's there waiting to act on your behalf when evil transient voltage rears its ugly head.

Green "grounded" Light...If this light doesn't come on, no bueno, use a different outlet. 

Blue "protected" Light...This peaceful beacon tells you everything's alright. If it goes out, your PowerCurve3.4 has absorbed a surge and sacrificed itself to save your devices. Shed a tear, then replace it.

On/Off Switch- For turning your PowerCurve3.4 on and uh, off. It also acts as a reset in case you're runnin' si hair dryers and trip the internal circuit breaker. Hint: don't do that.

Super Quick Setup:
1. Plug stuff into your PowerCurve3.4 Surge Protector.
2. Plug your PowerCurve3.4 into a grounded wall outlet.
3. Standard fist pump.

I'm still laughing and enjoyed this more than the current 'bestseller' I have on my nightstand. A shout out to 360 Electrical LLC for coolness. Concise information with a humorous twist. AND they got most of the punctuation right! (Minus 1 point for using 'alright' instead of 'all right'.) Kudos, tech writers! You have a career in writing!


Char