Previously I said I wouldn't do book reviews because of that whole 'I-can't-give-everyone-a-5-star-review-because-no-one-will-take-me-seriously' and 'the-publishing-community-is-small' thing. (Boy who cried wolf and dog doesn't poop in his space kind of deal.)
So, being almost brilliant, I've decided to feature books (two at a time because I like some pressure & tend to take on a lot more than I should), one published years ago and one relatively recently. I'll tell you what worked; what one element or device stood out. Even bad books can have some redeeming quality- I think porn and violent-content publishers use that argument to get past decency standards. But I'm not saying any of these books are bad; some will be great, some will be meh and some I will hate- but I won't tell you. No ratings, just one thing I liked about it.
The Lord of the Rings. It does happen to be my all time favorite book, and I've said so on interviews and such so this is not a deal breaker. It's probably the only time I tell you it's my fave book (other than my own!). The best element of this book (keeping the trilogy together)- is the world building. From descriptions of the inhabitants of Middle Earth (elves, orcs, ents, etc.) to the magic (palantiri, glowing swords, Light of Galadriel) to the rich language (poetry, elvish script, Rhohirrim etymology), Tolkien was the grand master. He incorporated good vs. evil, romance, war, murder and salvation, hope and tragedy, heroes and the lost, humor and darkness. The only things missing (but not missed) are sex, foul language, and teen angst. Like many, I consider Tolkien to be a literary genius. Wish I'd been able to read LOTR instead of some of the boring, dense, so-called 'classics' (D.H. Lawrence comes to mind...) I was forced to read.
The next book with a great device is Alissa Grosso's Popular. It seems like a 'popular-girls-are-so-mean' story, but it employs one of my favorite devices: the unexpected twist. I love surprises! And Alissa made me gasp! (Sorry, not going to spoil it, go read the book.) There's nothing that's more detestable than being able to correctly guess a book. Okay, we all know how any story about the Titanic is going to end- but it's like that for stories about recorded human and natural events; we know how the main thread is going to shake out so the other elements must do extra duty to keep us interested. Two thirds through her book, Alissa threw a curve ball--right over home plate and I never saw it!
So, no stars or smiley faces or thumbs up; just something I liked about two books.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Word Up!
I was slacking off, watching TV and one of those infernal commercials came on; a couple are painting a room, they touch hands, and the background dissolves into a panoramic forest vista with a bed or tub. Yeah, a Viagra commercial. For... ahem... a malfunction. My son giggles- "It's dysfunction," he informs me. Dysfunction, misfunction, malfunction; what's the diff? According to Webster's Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary, circa 1983 (one of those big jabonies that weighs a gazillion tons which I refuse to give up because the online and Microsoft dictionaries are seriously lacking):
Dysfunction: n. Med., malfunctioning, as of a structure of the body.
It appears dysfunction and malfunction maybe the same thing. That's common in English, multiple words meaning the same thing (think Thesaurus).
Malfunction: n. failure to function properly: v.i. to fail to function properly. Same definition, but it looks like dysfunction applies strictly to medical issues. Okay, the body can have a dysfunction, while the car can have either (noun) a malfunction of the engine, or, (verb) the engine malfunctioned.
Misfunction / Disfunction Uh, no such words. At least as of 1983. And having made Webster's my literary lord and master, I will never use these two words. Ever. And neither should you. We have enough clutter, slang, anachronisms, abbreviations, made-up, ill-, improperly or inappropriately used words in our language. So don't. It really annoys me. And you do not want me to hear you use the word 'irregardless.' (I will need a sedative or other serious chemicals to rein in my outrage.)
At least I know the makers of Viagra are using proper English. Hopefully Johnson & Johnson (my maiden name is Johnson, but no relation. Darn, could really use the fame and money), will take note and forever eradicate their slogan "It don't ouch me" on their bandage commercials. [Kindly note that I did not say 'Bandaid' which is a registered trademark of Johnson & Johnson. If I can observe the proprieties, so can they.]
So my knowledge of dys- vs. mal- function has been refreshed, and two plausible but non-existent words abolished from my memory. Now if only I could obliterate all those 'dysfunction' commercials.
Dysfunction: n. Med., malfunctioning, as of a structure of the body.
It appears dysfunction and malfunction maybe the same thing. That's common in English, multiple words meaning the same thing (think Thesaurus).
Malfunction: n. failure to function properly: v.i. to fail to function properly. Same definition, but it looks like dysfunction applies strictly to medical issues. Okay, the body can have a dysfunction, while the car can have either (noun) a malfunction of the engine, or, (verb) the engine malfunctioned.
Misfunction / Disfunction Uh, no such words. At least as of 1983. And having made Webster's my literary lord and master, I will never use these two words. Ever. And neither should you. We have enough clutter, slang, anachronisms, abbreviations, made-up, ill-, improperly or inappropriately used words in our language. So don't. It really annoys me. And you do not want me to hear you use the word 'irregardless.' (I will need a sedative or other serious chemicals to rein in my outrage.)
At least I know the makers of Viagra are using proper English. Hopefully Johnson & Johnson (my maiden name is Johnson, but no relation. Darn, could really use the fame and money), will take note and forever eradicate their slogan "It don't ouch me" on their bandage commercials. [Kindly note that I did not say 'Bandaid' which is a registered trademark of Johnson & Johnson. If I can observe the proprieties, so can they.]
So my knowledge of dys- vs. mal- function has been refreshed, and two plausible but non-existent words abolished from my memory. Now if only I could obliterate all those 'dysfunction' commercials.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Critical Mass
When Nat & I first started on this journey with Sirenz, we were told to do Facebook (we do- even have a page for Sirenz), and Twitter (we do- @natalie_zaman and @charbennardo) and blogs (we do- natalizezamanblogspot.com and well, you're here). I've already touched on just doing writerly posts, which would bore the non-writers vs writing about any random thought, which Writer's Digest warned against doing because it doesn't give off a serious writing dedication vibe. Our editor said we should talk about our book (gotta sell it!) which we do occasionally, interviews with other writers (hmm, haven't done that yet) and reviews.
Reviews. Of other people's books. That presents a problem.
It's not like I have a problem giving my opinion. (Stop snickering those who know me!) That's never been a problem.
It's not like I don't read (Overflowing bookshelves, serious book expenses.) I'd rather read than watch American Idol, Glee, or the host of other really dumb TV shows.
The problems is: what if I don't like the book? Not everyone loves Sirenz (dramatic pause while I wait for mass denial, 'That's not true! We ALL love Sirenz!' Ok, not happening.). BIG SECRET HERE: I do not love every book I read.
When you're done gasping, there's more: there are some bestsellers that I've scratched my head and said "What's the fuss?" I won't mention them by name and this is where it gets sticky. I'm open to honest reviews- Sirenz has some 4 & 5 star reviews, and yet VOYA hated us with a passion that clearly was frightening. One blogger dropped the F-bomb so many times I check my mail for powdery substances. But I don't rave and rant or cry (not that you see anyway). This is the land of the free- and if you want to say something, say it. Doesn't say anywhere that I have to agree. But free speech comes with a caveat; you become known by your words. I do NOT want to be the 'author who hates [Book Title]!' Some people love Twilight and can't understand those who do not. Others loathe the book and make fun of those who live their lives by Team Jacob or Team Edward. (My friend Yvonne is snickering right now because almost every conversation has a Twilight mention.) Criticizing or praising a book puts you into a nay or yay camp.
I never went to camp, so it's too late now to join one. I read books, and if we're talking face to face, I tell you what I liked about them. If other people in the conversation bash the book, then I feel free to say what disappointed me. I will not do a written review because words can bite you in the butt (yes, I've learned that the hard way). Plus, a lot of books I'm reading now are by people who've become my friends. Writing is a hard enough job; rejections by editors, critiques for you to change your work, efforts to market your book, and a host of so many other burdens that only authors know exist. I do not want to add to the already arduous task.
So, no reviews. I can definitively say however, that there is something I like in every book; maybe it's one character, a scene, or just the cover. You'll just have to sample the book and make up your own mind without my guidance. Enough said.
Reviews. Of other people's books. That presents a problem.
It's not like I have a problem giving my opinion. (Stop snickering those who know me!) That's never been a problem.
It's not like I don't read (Overflowing bookshelves, serious book expenses.) I'd rather read than watch American Idol, Glee, or the host of other really dumb TV shows.
The problems is: what if I don't like the book? Not everyone loves Sirenz (dramatic pause while I wait for mass denial, 'That's not true! We ALL love Sirenz!' Ok, not happening.). BIG SECRET HERE: I do not love every book I read.
When you're done gasping, there's more: there are some bestsellers that I've scratched my head and said "What's the fuss?" I won't mention them by name and this is where it gets sticky. I'm open to honest reviews- Sirenz has some 4 & 5 star reviews, and yet VOYA hated us with a passion that clearly was frightening. One blogger dropped the F-bomb so many times I check my mail for powdery substances. But I don't rave and rant or cry (not that you see anyway). This is the land of the free- and if you want to say something, say it. Doesn't say anywhere that I have to agree. But free speech comes with a caveat; you become known by your words. I do NOT want to be the 'author who hates [Book Title]!' Some people love Twilight and can't understand those who do not. Others loathe the book and make fun of those who live their lives by Team Jacob or Team Edward. (My friend Yvonne is snickering right now because almost every conversation has a Twilight mention.) Criticizing or praising a book puts you into a nay or yay camp.
I never went to camp, so it's too late now to join one. I read books, and if we're talking face to face, I tell you what I liked about them. If other people in the conversation bash the book, then I feel free to say what disappointed me. I will not do a written review because words can bite you in the butt (yes, I've learned that the hard way). Plus, a lot of books I'm reading now are by people who've become my friends. Writing is a hard enough job; rejections by editors, critiques for you to change your work, efforts to market your book, and a host of so many other burdens that only authors know exist. I do not want to add to the already arduous task.
So, no reviews. I can definitively say however, that there is something I like in every book; maybe it's one character, a scene, or just the cover. You'll just have to sample the book and make up your own mind without my guidance. Enough said.
Monday, September 12, 2011
A Change of Seasons
Yeah, it's that time. Fall.
Every year, I hate it.
Why?
So many reasons; one, I have to close my pool. Not being a member of the polar bear club, I don't swim when it's cold. Brrrrr! I don't even like it when the day is cooler than 85 degrees. (I know you've heard me say this.) I'm a summer gal and I don't tolerate cold well. Maybe because my blood pressure is really low 90 over 60, with a low pulse). I think I'm half dead. My blood moves s o o s l o w l y. My feet, hands, nose, ears, and face are always cold. Plus, having had some broken bones and corrective surgeries (don't get me started on THAT sob story) the cold makes bones and joints hurt. So when it gets cold, I really have to bundle up. And skiing or playing with the kids? I look like the Michelin Man I'm so puffed from all the layers. The pool closed up is a visual smack in the face that soon I will be frozen all the time.
Next, I have to pack up my shorts, tanks, flipflops, and bathing suits. And then drag out the sweaters, long pants, gloves, hats, and thermal underwear (hey, you ever sit at Homecoming Weekend watching lousy football and our award winning, nationally ranked marching band in October or November? Baby it's freaking freezing!) And while I love fuzzy socks (oooh, nice!) I like walking around bare footed and wearing as little as legally, ethically, morally, practically, physically and parentall allowed. Fall says to me, "You'll be bundled up and you'll STILL be cold."
Naked trees. While the falling colored leaves are so pretty, once they're gone everything's gray and drab and dead-looking. The rain doesn't make a soothing patter on the leaves, calling to you to sit under a porch while it lulls you into a sense of peace, or daring you to run and splash indecently in rolling rivers in street gutters. All you see are bare, skinny branches waving with menace when the winds start to howl.
And that's another thing- the wind doesn't howl in the spring or summer, but it does in the fall and winter, when daylight dies quicker, leaving you to trudge through the eerie darkness, seeing eyes in the black of woods (even if it's only on the side of your driveway). The wind sends prickles of cold up your sleeves, in your nose, through your jeans (and yet another practical reason not to wear those STUPID jeans that cost you a fortune but are all chewed and ripped up. Duh.) A summer breeze of delight has turned cruel and insidious, lurking in bare woods, circling the house, waiting to attack.
The deathly silence. Where is the symphony of crickets? It's replaced by the hoot of a mournful owl, giving last rites to some poor creature. All sounds of life have been sequestered deep underground, or have flown away till the Earth changes its attitude and comes round again for spring. In fall, the imaginings of the mind make the heart pound in our ears like bombs, terror twisting up the volume of the blood screeching through our veins; was that a cracking branch? Is someone following me? Is there an ANIMAL or MONSTER waiting to pounce? Crickets would warn me...
The death of fireflies. There is no aspect of childhood summers I adore more than fields of dark shrouded trees and grass festooned with the twinkle of fireflies gaily playing a tag of life and love. In fall, they are gone, leaving an unbroken void. The loss of light is added to the loss of warmth, color and sound.
My favorite ice cream place closes down. Sure the grocery store has lots of flavors. But not even Ben & Jerry's, or the Cold Stone Creamery can compare with Polar Cub's mega huge waffle cone of black raspberry ice cream with chocolate cookie crumbs. It's not just the ice cream, it's the experience of sitting on a picnic table, trying to catch all the drips before they land on my bare legs; it's the little chats with my sons over everything and nothing, giggling, being silly, (laughing when kids wear more than they eat), and just enjoying the moment.
Then there are the things only summer can bring: Fourth of July fireworks, the balloon festival, Classic Car night in downtown Somerville, spontaneous barbecues with our neighbors the Burgermeisters (for real) and the Orlandos, late nights and too many beers in our pool bar with friends, and beaches, amusement parks, water slides... I could just go on.
And you want me to be glad to give all that up for ugly naked trees, shivering from the cold, scratchy wool (hey, I can't afford ALL cashmere), clumpy shoes, short days and long nights, and being forced to cloister in my home?
All that just for eating hot apple pie made from crisp apples, carving goofy faces on pumpkins, feeling cashmere against my skin, having a blush on my cheeks from the wind, and enjoying bonfires in the backyard while we make s'mores with friends?
Sorry. I miss summer.
Every year, I hate it.
Why?
So many reasons; one, I have to close my pool. Not being a member of the polar bear club, I don't swim when it's cold. Brrrrr! I don't even like it when the day is cooler than 85 degrees. (I know you've heard me say this.) I'm a summer gal and I don't tolerate cold well. Maybe because my blood pressure is really low 90 over 60, with a low pulse). I think I'm half dead. My blood moves s o o s l o w l y. My feet, hands, nose, ears, and face are always cold. Plus, having had some broken bones and corrective surgeries (don't get me started on THAT sob story) the cold makes bones and joints hurt. So when it gets cold, I really have to bundle up. And skiing or playing with the kids? I look like the Michelin Man I'm so puffed from all the layers. The pool closed up is a visual smack in the face that soon I will be frozen all the time.
Next, I have to pack up my shorts, tanks, flipflops, and bathing suits. And then drag out the sweaters, long pants, gloves, hats, and thermal underwear (hey, you ever sit at Homecoming Weekend watching lousy football and our award winning, nationally ranked marching band in October or November? Baby it's freaking freezing!) And while I love fuzzy socks (oooh, nice!) I like walking around bare footed and wearing as little as legally, ethically, morally, practically, physically and parentall allowed. Fall says to me, "You'll be bundled up and you'll STILL be cold."
Naked trees. While the falling colored leaves are so pretty, once they're gone everything's gray and drab and dead-looking. The rain doesn't make a soothing patter on the leaves, calling to you to sit under a porch while it lulls you into a sense of peace, or daring you to run and splash indecently in rolling rivers in street gutters. All you see are bare, skinny branches waving with menace when the winds start to howl.
And that's another thing- the wind doesn't howl in the spring or summer, but it does in the fall and winter, when daylight dies quicker, leaving you to trudge through the eerie darkness, seeing eyes in the black of woods (even if it's only on the side of your driveway). The wind sends prickles of cold up your sleeves, in your nose, through your jeans (and yet another practical reason not to wear those STUPID jeans that cost you a fortune but are all chewed and ripped up. Duh.) A summer breeze of delight has turned cruel and insidious, lurking in bare woods, circling the house, waiting to attack.
The deathly silence. Where is the symphony of crickets? It's replaced by the hoot of a mournful owl, giving last rites to some poor creature. All sounds of life have been sequestered deep underground, or have flown away till the Earth changes its attitude and comes round again for spring. In fall, the imaginings of the mind make the heart pound in our ears like bombs, terror twisting up the volume of the blood screeching through our veins; was that a cracking branch? Is someone following me? Is there an ANIMAL or MONSTER waiting to pounce? Crickets would warn me...
The death of fireflies. There is no aspect of childhood summers I adore more than fields of dark shrouded trees and grass festooned with the twinkle of fireflies gaily playing a tag of life and love. In fall, they are gone, leaving an unbroken void. The loss of light is added to the loss of warmth, color and sound.
My favorite ice cream place closes down. Sure the grocery store has lots of flavors. But not even Ben & Jerry's, or the Cold Stone Creamery can compare with Polar Cub's mega huge waffle cone of black raspberry ice cream with chocolate cookie crumbs. It's not just the ice cream, it's the experience of sitting on a picnic table, trying to catch all the drips before they land on my bare legs; it's the little chats with my sons over everything and nothing, giggling, being silly, (laughing when kids wear more than they eat), and just enjoying the moment.
Then there are the things only summer can bring: Fourth of July fireworks, the balloon festival, Classic Car night in downtown Somerville, spontaneous barbecues with our neighbors the Burgermeisters (for real) and the Orlandos, late nights and too many beers in our pool bar with friends, and beaches, amusement parks, water slides... I could just go on.
And you want me to be glad to give all that up for ugly naked trees, shivering from the cold, scratchy wool (hey, I can't afford ALL cashmere), clumpy shoes, short days and long nights, and being forced to cloister in my home?
All that just for eating hot apple pie made from crisp apples, carving goofy faces on pumpkins, feeling cashmere against my skin, having a blush on my cheeks from the wind, and enjoying bonfires in the backyard while we make s'mores with friends?
Sorry. I miss summer.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Conundrums, Quandries and Puzzles
There are rules for everything; driving, eating, behaving, even blogging. Writer's Digest featured an article about blogging and one of the tips they gave is that if you're a writer, you blog about writing. Seems straightforward enough. I'm a writer, I can do that.
When Sirenz was pubbed, we were advised by our editor and others in the business to have a blog. We did, Okay, things were going well.
Then we were told not to harp on our book or just writing because we could alienate people who may like to read, but don't want to hear about writing.
So now what do I do? Listen the the bible of writing, which has given me so much wonderful, applicable and honest advice, or listen to people in the publishing world, in contact with literally, thousands.
What a conundrum.
I think the answer is... both. Because life is never black and white (unless it's one of those half black, half white cookies). When I have a topic on writing, I'll post on that. Sorry friends who aren't interested in writing, the publishing world, and all things related, but I am a writer after all. It's my passion, my driving force. If you know me, you know this (because I bore you talking about books, writing, my projects). This will make Writer's Digest happy that I've read and used their advice.
But even I run out of 'writerly' stuff. Or get bored with it. Or have a rant (I've done several of those) that I need to get out. This occasional little digression keeps things lively, placates those who don't want anything to do with writing, or entertains the casual peruser. Those who don't know me will get to know me a little better through these types of posts. Anyone who is acquainted with me will snort and say yeah, typical Charlotte.
So, you won't always see writing tidbits, or whining complaints, or amusing musings. Blogging, like life, has rules and sometimes those rules don't fit. Don't speed is a rule- but when you're ready to have that baby, cops will overlook and even assist you in speeding. You should wait half an hour after eating before swimming- experts now say that isn't necessary. Never use incomplete sentences. Huh. See? Three rules amended, thrown out, or ignored.
So quandry solved. Rules aren't absolute. Let's hope the police officer buys that if I get pulled over.
When Sirenz was pubbed, we were advised by our editor and others in the business to have a blog. We did, Okay, things were going well.
Then we were told not to harp on our book or just writing because we could alienate people who may like to read, but don't want to hear about writing.
So now what do I do? Listen the the bible of writing, which has given me so much wonderful, applicable and honest advice, or listen to people in the publishing world, in contact with literally, thousands.
What a conundrum.
I think the answer is... both. Because life is never black and white (unless it's one of those half black, half white cookies). When I have a topic on writing, I'll post on that. Sorry friends who aren't interested in writing, the publishing world, and all things related, but I am a writer after all. It's my passion, my driving force. If you know me, you know this (because I bore you talking about books, writing, my projects). This will make Writer's Digest happy that I've read and used their advice.
But even I run out of 'writerly' stuff. Or get bored with it. Or have a rant (I've done several of those) that I need to get out. This occasional little digression keeps things lively, placates those who don't want anything to do with writing, or entertains the casual peruser. Those who don't know me will get to know me a little better through these types of posts. Anyone who is acquainted with me will snort and say yeah, typical Charlotte.
So, you won't always see writing tidbits, or whining complaints, or amusing musings. Blogging, like life, has rules and sometimes those rules don't fit. Don't speed is a rule- but when you're ready to have that baby, cops will overlook and even assist you in speeding. You should wait half an hour after eating before swimming- experts now say that isn't necessary. Never use incomplete sentences. Huh. See? Three rules amended, thrown out, or ignored.
So quandry solved. Rules aren't absolute. Let's hope the police officer buys that if I get pulled over.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
I'm Not Laughing
On the news today: murder plot on FaceBook by 19 year old single mom, rapper murdered and body torched in New Jersey, Democrats and Republicans continue name calling, U.S. economy sinking further into debt... and that's just in America, out in the world it's even WORSE. This is a perfect time for a little humor to lighten our depressed moods, help us see that life can be good, and to re-energize us for the work to be done.
But too many people don't take humor seriously.
The world is obsessed with End of The World (dystopian) and worst case "What If..." scenarios like massive hunger, plague, apocalypses, zombies. And then we (and I have my moments too) get caught up in books and movies about lost love, losing love, dying love, bad love, not enough love. It seems we are determined to wallow in despair.
What's wrong with a good laugh? I'll admit sales for our book Sirenz are a little slow and that's part of what prompted this post. Another nudge was a really vicious, uncalled for and way too personal review by someone who seems to have a vested interested in eviscerating us from afar and from behind. Whoa! I understand humor is subjective and not everyone's going to find Sirenz funny. Heck, I can sit through David Letterman, Conan, and a lot of other comedian routines and not even crack a smile. Don't remember if I ever thought the Three Stooges were funny. A lot of cartoons I shake my head at and wonder how my 11 year old can giggle but that may have to do with age more than anything (Drake & Josh and iCarly are funny so I can relate somewhat.). People who write, paint, sing, act or put creative works out there realize that we are going to have our critics (sniff!) but that's okay, we're playing to the audience who will love us.
If you look at humorous authors like Libba Bray, Meg Cabot, Allie Carter, Sarah Mlynowski, John Greene (Disclaimer: I haven't read all their works) reviewers say how funny and enjoyable the reads were (we got lots of 'I thought this was so funny!' reviews and Katelyn at www.katelynsblog.blogspot.com [I think that's how to tag it] said she'd like to invite Nat and me to an 'Author Block Party' because we're goofballs) but then they gush over the fearful, wrenching, scary, depressing books more. Even the American Library Association, which rates the top books for young adults (YA for those not in the pub business) doesn't have a separate category for humor. They have adventure, forbidden romance, geek and bullying but no humor? Geez, I'd think since the world is in such a freaking mess and not likely to get any better in the foreseeable future that they would have a comedic designation as a public mental health service.
Let me ask: when you get together with your friends and family, do you sit around and get depressed? (Well, maybe, but that's not the intent.) Don't you invite the neighbors over for a cold one and laugh over stupid stuff someone's doing? (If you have lousy neighbors I guess not, but you have friends, right?.) Do you meet up with Phi Mu sorority sisters to contemplate the downfall of society? (It'll happen eventually, history has proven this, stop thinking about it.) Would you go to a bar, restaurant, water park, or show looking to be reflective and moody? (If so, you may have deeper problems than you realize.) No-you go to have FUN.
Someone once said (okay, it was my aunt) that I should have been a stand up comedian. I can't imagine trying to be funny every night for years, it's hard enough doing it for 280 pages. And that's the point- comedy is hard work; can YOU be consistently funny? Nat and I try our schtick on each other (but really, she's a pushover) and then refine, rework, remove or rethink the humor of the Sirenz books. It would be way easier to wax morosely on a serious subject. So don't dismiss humor as 'fluff', not literary and worst of all, NOT WORTHY. (I mean seriously, a lot of the Nobel Prizes are soooo full of despair, angst, pain and suffering I don't know how the writers aren't on anti-depressants or maybe they are...).
Enjoy a fun read. Check out these authors. Give humor writers the love and attention you give other writers. If you help Nat and I become bestselling authors, I promise we will do three things for comedy writers: create an award of some type to bring needed attention to the genre, talk up debut authors struggling to make it, and keep writing our funny stuff. The fate of humor in America may just be sitting on your shoulders (not that I'm trying to pressure you or anything.)
And for goodness sake, lighten up!
But too many people don't take humor seriously.
The world is obsessed with End of The World (dystopian) and worst case "What If..." scenarios like massive hunger, plague, apocalypses, zombies. And then we (and I have my moments too) get caught up in books and movies about lost love, losing love, dying love, bad love, not enough love. It seems we are determined to wallow in despair.
What's wrong with a good laugh? I'll admit sales for our book Sirenz are a little slow and that's part of what prompted this post. Another nudge was a really vicious, uncalled for and way too personal review by someone who seems to have a vested interested in eviscerating us from afar and from behind. Whoa! I understand humor is subjective and not everyone's going to find Sirenz funny. Heck, I can sit through David Letterman, Conan, and a lot of other comedian routines and not even crack a smile. Don't remember if I ever thought the Three Stooges were funny. A lot of cartoons I shake my head at and wonder how my 11 year old can giggle but that may have to do with age more than anything (Drake & Josh and iCarly are funny so I can relate somewhat.). People who write, paint, sing, act or put creative works out there realize that we are going to have our critics (sniff!) but that's okay, we're playing to the audience who will love us.
If you look at humorous authors like Libba Bray, Meg Cabot, Allie Carter, Sarah Mlynowski, John Greene (Disclaimer: I haven't read all their works) reviewers say how funny and enjoyable the reads were (we got lots of 'I thought this was so funny!' reviews and Katelyn at www.katelynsblog.blogspot.com [I think that's how to tag it] said she'd like to invite Nat and me to an 'Author Block Party' because we're goofballs) but then they gush over the fearful, wrenching, scary, depressing books more. Even the American Library Association, which rates the top books for young adults (YA for those not in the pub business) doesn't have a separate category for humor. They have adventure, forbidden romance, geek and bullying but no humor? Geez, I'd think since the world is in such a freaking mess and not likely to get any better in the foreseeable future that they would have a comedic designation as a public mental health service.
Let me ask: when you get together with your friends and family, do you sit around and get depressed? (Well, maybe, but that's not the intent.) Don't you invite the neighbors over for a cold one and laugh over stupid stuff someone's doing? (If you have lousy neighbors I guess not, but you have friends, right?.) Do you meet up with Phi Mu sorority sisters to contemplate the downfall of society? (It'll happen eventually, history has proven this, stop thinking about it.) Would you go to a bar, restaurant, water park, or show looking to be reflective and moody? (If so, you may have deeper problems than you realize.) No-you go to have FUN.
Someone once said (okay, it was my aunt) that I should have been a stand up comedian. I can't imagine trying to be funny every night for years, it's hard enough doing it for 280 pages. And that's the point- comedy is hard work; can YOU be consistently funny? Nat and I try our schtick on each other (but really, she's a pushover) and then refine, rework, remove or rethink the humor of the Sirenz books. It would be way easier to wax morosely on a serious subject. So don't dismiss humor as 'fluff', not literary and worst of all, NOT WORTHY. (I mean seriously, a lot of the Nobel Prizes are soooo full of despair, angst, pain and suffering I don't know how the writers aren't on anti-depressants or maybe they are...).
Enjoy a fun read. Check out these authors. Give humor writers the love and attention you give other writers. If you help Nat and I become bestselling authors, I promise we will do three things for comedy writers: create an award of some type to bring needed attention to the genre, talk up debut authors struggling to make it, and keep writing our funny stuff. The fate of humor in America may just be sitting on your shoulders (not that I'm trying to pressure you or anything.)
And for goodness sake, lighten up!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Now You've Made Me Angry...
Somethings just make me sooooo angry. I have a list. (Doesn't everyone?)
Why do kids in high school (they should know better) NOT defend the kid that's picked on? I mean really, so you stand up for someone and the 'popular' crowd might turn their back on you. So? Is it really such a loss? People who bully are contemptible and I don't care WHO they are. Yes, I was NOT a member of the popular crowd. Once you get out of high school, who cares about them? Forge your own way.
Next on my list: drivers who are jerks. I think we can all relate. If you get to your destination 4 seconds sooner, having run someone off the road, or scared 10 years off the life of a mother driving her kids, is that a win? Yes, it's a win in the "A-hole" category for you. Karma will NOT be kind to you, so remember that next time you drive.
Words as weapons. We all criticize, and I must admit, I'm not the most ahem, gentle of critics. But I don't go for the jugular. Some people will stop at nothing more than total destruction of a person's character. I am grown up enough to realize not everyone will like my book Sirenz (written with best gal pal Natalie Zaman- have to give her credit too!), or my own works, whether articles, books, editorials, blogs, yada. Or me personally. Hey, I don't like everyone I meet either. But I don't shove in the knife and twist. I believe in 'Turn the other cheek' AND 'Karma's gonna catch up with you.' If you have to be that nasty, I really feel sorry for you; you must be one miserable person.
Laziness/Incompetence. Ah, the lazy days of summer. It's a phrase about relaxing, taking a break. It does not mean not doing your job, then giving people grief because you couldn't care less about the job or others. I've worked at McDonald's, Burger King, prestigious law firms, restaurants, business offices, newspapers. I tried to give it my best. Sometimes it wasn't a good fit for one or both of us. But no one can accuse me of not trying or not caring. It's not the job- it's the person in the job that determines success.
Abusive people. I think it's almost a universal given that people who harm children, innocent people, animals and the environment are a waste of cytoplasm. No excuses can justify it.
Bad grammar. I mean, I know I'm an uptight English fanatic, but everyone should know the difference between affect (verb) and effect (noun). The same with how to make plurals and possessives (it's means it is, its mean it possesses. Spelling- people, there's Spellcheck. It's there for a reason. Please don't ignore it. Our school system bypassed grammar & spelling for a number of years in favor of some stupid 'whole language' program (I'm being critical here), and we have scores of kids who write so poorly, I'm spending THOUSANDS of dollars on private tutoring to help my son score well on the SAT's and be a better writer. I tolerate bad spelling from Nat a) because we're partners and she picks up my mistakes b) I don't know if she can help herself c) gives me something to gloat over and d) I'm saving (hopefully) millions of readers English angst when they read her/our stuff.
Air conditioning. Really. Hubby cranks it so high I NEED A BLANKET IN A HEAT WAVE. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I'm one of those people who revel in 85+ degree weather. Humidity? Oh stop complaining, it's good for the skin. Bunch of babies. Rather have this weather than freeze my freckles off in winter. I am so moving to St. Thomas when I'm rich. You can keep your cold, damp weather. I'll come back for Christmas snow, then see ya in the spring.
Over-done technology. Do we really need so much junk on our phones? Twitter? Facebook? Apps? I'm drowning in trying to keep up with all this stuff. By the time I learn it, it's old. Gone. Useless. And the changes aren't for the better; Twitter 'unfollows' people I want to follow. Facebook gives out personal info I haven't authorized. Vista (enough said). Takes me so long to get to contacts on my phone because I have to go through so much junk! I miss my Razor phone... My brain is burning out. All I want to do is type some stuff on the social media, and write books. I do not want an advanced degree in computers, social networking, Java, Microsoft, Droid...
Spam. I do not want to hear about Male/Female/Asian/Over 50/Black/etc. singles. One husband is enough, thank you. And I would not trust anyone I do not know to fix me up anyway. And I do not want insurance, cars, vacations, psychic readings, info about Viagra lawsuits, or ANY of that stuff in my spam folder. Go Away.
Continuing on the technology theme, I do not want to authorize strangers from any company, utility, store, credit company, mortgage/bank company to take money from my account. We've had our credit card 'compromised' three times, and our bank account once. (Luckily it all worked out, no losses.) I would rather write the check, even though I have to drop the mail in the post office to prevent mail thefts. (Yeah, that's happened too.) Stop asking me to sign up for direct payment. And STOP with the junk mail in the bills! (See spam above.)
I feel better knowing that I've shared with you, friends and strangers, what makes me angry. It may help you navigate our friendship or meeting to avoid these things. Although this is only a partial list, I've spent all my angst and feel too chipper/relieved to continue. (And there are more. I don't want to scare you or temperance forbids me to rant & rave overmuch.)
So have a pleasant day without any of the above mentioned anger-inducing scenarios, and talk to ya later!
Why do kids in high school (they should know better) NOT defend the kid that's picked on? I mean really, so you stand up for someone and the 'popular' crowd might turn their back on you. So? Is it really such a loss? People who bully are contemptible and I don't care WHO they are. Yes, I was NOT a member of the popular crowd. Once you get out of high school, who cares about them? Forge your own way.
Next on my list: drivers who are jerks. I think we can all relate. If you get to your destination 4 seconds sooner, having run someone off the road, or scared 10 years off the life of a mother driving her kids, is that a win? Yes, it's a win in the "A-hole" category for you. Karma will NOT be kind to you, so remember that next time you drive.
Words as weapons. We all criticize, and I must admit, I'm not the most ahem, gentle of critics. But I don't go for the jugular. Some people will stop at nothing more than total destruction of a person's character. I am grown up enough to realize not everyone will like my book Sirenz (written with best gal pal Natalie Zaman- have to give her credit too!), or my own works, whether articles, books, editorials, blogs, yada. Or me personally. Hey, I don't like everyone I meet either. But I don't shove in the knife and twist. I believe in 'Turn the other cheek' AND 'Karma's gonna catch up with you.' If you have to be that nasty, I really feel sorry for you; you must be one miserable person.
Laziness/Incompetence. Ah, the lazy days of summer. It's a phrase about relaxing, taking a break. It does not mean not doing your job, then giving people grief because you couldn't care less about the job or others. I've worked at McDonald's, Burger King, prestigious law firms, restaurants, business offices, newspapers. I tried to give it my best. Sometimes it wasn't a good fit for one or both of us. But no one can accuse me of not trying or not caring. It's not the job- it's the person in the job that determines success.
Abusive people. I think it's almost a universal given that people who harm children, innocent people, animals and the environment are a waste of cytoplasm. No excuses can justify it.
Bad grammar. I mean, I know I'm an uptight English fanatic, but everyone should know the difference between affect (verb) and effect (noun). The same with how to make plurals and possessives (it's means it is, its mean it possesses. Spelling- people, there's Spellcheck. It's there for a reason. Please don't ignore it. Our school system bypassed grammar & spelling for a number of years in favor of some stupid 'whole language' program (I'm being critical here), and we have scores of kids who write so poorly, I'm spending THOUSANDS of dollars on private tutoring to help my son score well on the SAT's and be a better writer. I tolerate bad spelling from Nat a) because we're partners and she picks up my mistakes b) I don't know if she can help herself c) gives me something to gloat over and d) I'm saving (hopefully) millions of readers English angst when they read her/our stuff.
Air conditioning. Really. Hubby cranks it so high I NEED A BLANKET IN A HEAT WAVE. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I'm one of those people who revel in 85+ degree weather. Humidity? Oh stop complaining, it's good for the skin. Bunch of babies. Rather have this weather than freeze my freckles off in winter. I am so moving to St. Thomas when I'm rich. You can keep your cold, damp weather. I'll come back for Christmas snow, then see ya in the spring.
Over-done technology. Do we really need so much junk on our phones? Twitter? Facebook? Apps? I'm drowning in trying to keep up with all this stuff. By the time I learn it, it's old. Gone. Useless. And the changes aren't for the better; Twitter 'unfollows' people I want to follow. Facebook gives out personal info I haven't authorized. Vista (enough said). Takes me so long to get to contacts on my phone because I have to go through so much junk! I miss my Razor phone... My brain is burning out. All I want to do is type some stuff on the social media, and write books. I do not want an advanced degree in computers, social networking, Java, Microsoft, Droid...
Spam. I do not want to hear about Male/Female/Asian/Over 50/Black/etc. singles. One husband is enough, thank you. And I would not trust anyone I do not know to fix me up anyway. And I do not want insurance, cars, vacations, psychic readings, info about Viagra lawsuits, or ANY of that stuff in my spam folder. Go Away.
Continuing on the technology theme, I do not want to authorize strangers from any company, utility, store, credit company, mortgage/bank company to take money from my account. We've had our credit card 'compromised' three times, and our bank account once. (Luckily it all worked out, no losses.) I would rather write the check, even though I have to drop the mail in the post office to prevent mail thefts. (Yeah, that's happened too.) Stop asking me to sign up for direct payment. And STOP with the junk mail in the bills! (See spam above.)
I feel better knowing that I've shared with you, friends and strangers, what makes me angry. It may help you navigate our friendship or meeting to avoid these things. Although this is only a partial list, I've spent all my angst and feel too chipper/relieved to continue. (And there are more. I don't want to scare you or temperance forbids me to rant & rave overmuch.)
So have a pleasant day without any of the above mentioned anger-inducing scenarios, and talk to ya later!
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