Round 2: Don't Do This To Me...

 Ok, I've finished the book I was reading/critiquing. I'm happy to say that it did improve. BUT... still a few things to rant and whine about:

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

1. During a love scene, too many authors have their female characters make a 'mewling' noise. What the hell is that? Does she have cat DNA? There are groans, moans, grunts, gasps, whimpers, whines, murmurs, sighs, pants, gulps, and breaths. The Oxford American Thesaurus doesn't even list 'mewling' and Webster's Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language lists 'mewl' as: "verb, the sound of a crying child." Soooo not what should be used in an adult love scene. Please authors, stop using it, it sounds wrong on multiple levels.

2. I understand there are regional and cultural trends for some words, like y'all for all of you, and some authors don't use swear words (after all, your mom or kids could be reading your work), BUT... don't use stupid words: freakadilly, freakadilly circus (really, you had to go there twice?) crapple, and Christmas on a cracker. And if your alpha male character uses them? I'm liking him a little less. If you can't use the milder 'damn' or 'hell' then be nebulous- "He swore" and save us the cringe. 

3. If a character, male or female, constantly lectures, I'm out of there. No one likes a nag. And to have a strong male character sit still for two or more pages of being lectured and nagged means he isn't so alpha. And, honestly, I think he's a twit. Who would stand for that? I love my parents, but I didn't listen to that much nagging. Ok, the character needs some tough love and brutal, honest words, but after a while, I wanted to tell the lecturer to shut up and look at her own life. She was sounding like a mother, not a lover. And life always comes down to learning the hard way; few of us learned our lessons by being lectured into a coma.

4. Even after a thorough lecture, what character or person has instant understanding of their psychological or emotional issues? If it were that easy, every person with an issue could go to someone to lecture them extensively and fix the problem. Self-realization. Takes. Time. 

5. This one issue irritates me not only because the author used it, but because she should know better: misused clichés. The saying is NOT "eat on me." It is "eat at me." Again, there may be regional or cultural differences, or even current slang that change a saying, but this one is just WRONG. 

I finished that book and went on to the next one. Here are two more things that irk me:

1. When I submitted a romance story, I had two editors tell me that the romance/attraction had to be immediate. 

No.

1- Many readers and authors, even other editors and agents, hate the 'insta love' aspect- falling in love immediately. I can see attraction, but I refuse to do it in the first chapter because I need to show readers who the main characters are; a little background, a little trouble in their life, etc. I refuse to have two characters meet in a dumb way- like the overused 'spills his coffee on her' trope. I need at least 2 chapters to set the scene. A great number of books don't get to the romance/meet/attraction for several chapters and that feels more 'organic' to use a cliché. Heck, even Cinderella and Snow White didn't meet their true loves for at least two or more chapters. 

2. Covers. I have heard many times that the cover should accurately reflect some aspect of the novel. Don't show me a cover with a guy/gal on the cover who doesn't look anything like the character described- wrong hair/skin color, or a setting that doesn't appear in the book, wrong dress for the era, etc. I feel like the publisher cheated; offered me something and pulled a switcheroo. 

Okay, I think I'm done with my criticisms, rants, whines, and desk poundings. 

Wishing you all sunshine, unicorns, world peace, and great hair days-

Char

The Reviews Are...Not In

Reviews are important to an author, don't let anybody say they're not. They do help spread the word about a book. That doesn't mean only good reviews and tons of them are worthwhile. Here are 5 reasons why/how reviews are important:

1. Reviews in Goodreads, Amazon, and similar venues spread the word among readers, which are generally the lifeblood of author sales. 
2. Those reviews posted in Kirkus, Publishers Weekly, VOYA, School Library Journal, and similar publications are a way for a novel to get noticed by industry professionals: agents, publishers, librarians, booksellers, etc.
3. A review can be used on an author's blog, website, press release, even at the bottom of their email as a quick shout out to grab attention.
4. When applying to book festivals, library or store events, a quick review blurb, like "loved the whimsy!" by PW helps the organizer to decide whom to select and to publicize the event to draw in crowds.
5. When an author is a guest speaker, a glowing review from a well respected source, like PW or School Library Journal is used in the introduction: "PW called this novel a taut, well-paced thriller." This helps excite the audience to listen more closely than if the speaker said the author writes mysteries.

So if you can write a review, help an author out. Here are 5 tips to writing a review:

1. It doesn't have to be long. A few well thought out sentences are easier and more valuable than paragraphs.
2. Be precise; if you didn't like it, say why: "I thought the plot dragged" or "I don't like love triangles." This specificity will help others decide whether the book is for them and shows that you actually read the book.
3. Try to be balanced. It's okay if you didn't like the book, not every book will appeal to every writer, but say one nice thing so it doesn't look like all you want to do is a hatchet job. That might lead to suspicion that you're a fan of another author and are willing to diss any other book hoping to help your friend. It can be as simple as, "But I did like the descriptions of the setting; I felt like I was in that town" or "I loved the cover."
4. Even if it's months or years after the release, books are being evaluated by new readers and sometimes publishers will re-release the book with a new cover or added material. Plus, reviews are cumulative proof that the book merits attention.
5. Post your review where an author can see them. We need to know what's out there. While no author should respond to a bad review, if we see someone didn't like it because there are no dragons in the story, we have the opportunity, when someone mentions it (and someone will) that the story is set in 1920s Chicago, and there aren't supposed to be dragons. (Yes, sometimes people post reviews which don't make any sense, and therefore, we know they haven't read the book or are just being negative.) Likewise, if it's a positive review, we can use it in our PR material and we can link to your blog or website (thereby sending more readers your way). 

My final message: if you are a blogger, reviewer, published author, librarian, teacher, or someone in a position to do a review, please do it. It's hard enough writing the story, then trying to find someone to review it. 

And yes, I would like someone to review book 2 in my series, Evolution Revolution: Simple Plans. You can leave a comment or email me, and I'll get back to you. And thank you for taking the time! 

 

Char

I Chose the Road Not Taken...

When I say road not taken, I'm not talking about a meditative journey, or an adventurous vacation, I'm talking about stepping out of my comfort zone into something new.

Self publishing.

I have three novels, one short story, numerous magazine and newspaper articles via the traditional route; published by official publishing houses or agencies. That's cool and exciting-and slow. My middle grade adventure series has not found a home with the traditional publishers even though my agent was very excited about it.

This work has a special place in my heart. It wasn't the first novel that I wrote (those almost always end up in the trash can). I worked on this series of (so far) three books for years. A lot of years, don't ask specifically.)

I can't let it go.

So through and with my agent, Natalie Lakosil of the Bradford Literary Agency, we're taking this baby through self-publishing. I'm going through her for several reasons. First of all, she's my agent. We signed an agreement to work together. Doing something this big without her advice and guidance seems reckless and stupid. Second, she knows the business: knows which publishers are to be avoided, what a contract with an illustrator should have, what the price of services for typesetting and binding, etc. should be, and how to push me through the process without a major screw up on my end. Third, yes she gets a standard commission, but I get answers to questions without the hours of research, she'll post the books on her blog giving me exposure, and maybe if it does well, a traditional editor will reconsider pubbing it. It's money well spent.

I know a lot of people have self-pubbed. Some of it hasn't been pretty. Too many of these books have poor editing; Natalie and I have already polished my baby so it shines. I'm in the process of hiring a fantastic illustrator, and between the 3 of us, I know my cover will be stunning. When I see some of the covers out there (even in traditionally published books) I want to cringe. None of us want to be associated with a third rate book. As soon as I have a contract, I will introduce you to my illustrator. You may be surprised.

Finally, this is a labor of love on my part. I am spending time and money to do this right. As the process moves along, I'll journal it here. You can decide if this road, which is bound to be rocky and difficult, but provide many views I miss on the more traditional road, will have been worth it.

And while I work on this project, I still have other novels that Natalie will send down the traditional road. Hopefully, some good news will be forthcoming.

Wish me luck on my new adventure.

Postcards to come...

Char 

Illustration courtesy of Microsoft.