Ok, I've finished the book I was reading/critiquing. I'm happy to say that it did improve. BUT... still a few things to rant and whine about:
1. During a love scene, too many authors have their female characters make a 'mewling' noise. What the hell is that? Does she have cat DNA? There are groans, moans, grunts, gasps, whimpers, whines, murmurs, sighs, pants, gulps, and breaths. The Oxford American Thesaurus doesn't even list 'mewling' and Webster's Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language lists 'mewl' as: "verb, the sound of a crying child." Soooo not what should be used in an adult love scene. Please authors, stop using it, it sounds wrong on multiple levels.
2. I understand there are regional and cultural trends for some words, like y'all for all of you, and some authors don't use swear words (after all, your mom or kids could be reading your work), BUT... don't use stupid words: freakadilly, freakadilly circus (really, you had to go there twice?) crapple, and Christmas on a cracker. And if your alpha male character uses them? I'm liking him a little less. If you can't use the milder 'damn' or 'hell' then be nebulous- "He swore" and save us the cringe.
3. If a character, male or female, constantly lectures, I'm out of there. No one likes a nag. And to have a strong male character sit still for two or more pages of being lectured and nagged means he isn't so alpha. And, honestly, I think he's a twit. Who would stand for that? I love my parents, but I didn't listen to that much nagging. Ok, the character needs some tough love and brutal, honest words, but after a while, I wanted to tell the lecturer to shut up and look at her own life. She was sounding like a mother, not a lover. And life always comes down to learning the hard way; few of us learned our lessons by being lectured into a coma.
4. Even after a thorough lecture, what character or person has instant understanding of their psychological or emotional issues? If it were that easy, every person with an issue could go to someone to lecture them extensively and fix the problem. Self-realization. Takes. Time.
5. This one issue irritates me not only because the author used it, but because she should know better: misused clichés. The saying is NOT "eat on me." It is "eat at me." Again, there may be regional or cultural differences, or even current slang that change a saying, but this one is just WRONG.
I finished that book and went on to the next one. Here are two more things that irk me:
1. When I submitted a romance story, I had two editors tell me that the romance/attraction had to be immediate.
No.
1- Many readers and authors, even other editors and agents, hate the 'insta love' aspect- falling in love immediately. I can see attraction, but I refuse to do it in the first chapter because I need to show readers who the main characters are; a little background, a little trouble in their life, etc. I refuse to have two characters meet in a dumb way- like the overused 'spills his coffee on her' trope. I need at least 2 chapters to set the scene. A great number of books don't get to the romance/meet/attraction for several chapters and that feels more 'organic' to use a cliché. Heck, even Cinderella and Snow White didn't meet their true loves for at least two or more chapters.
2. Covers. I have heard many times that the cover should accurately reflect some aspect of the novel. Don't show me a cover with a guy/gal on the cover who doesn't look anything like the character described- wrong hair/skin color, or a setting that doesn't appear in the book, wrong dress for the era, etc. I feel like the publisher cheated; offered me something and pulled a switcheroo.
Okay, I think I'm done with my criticisms, rants, whines, and desk poundings.
Wishing you all sunshine, unicorns, world peace, and great hair days-
Char
