Relax, Imagine, Believe

This quarantine and the state of the country is a tough situation.

1. We can't go anywhere, like meet up with critique groups, or take classes or go shopping.
2. Book events and conferences are cancelled.
3. Social media is a minefield that is tearing apart friendships, casting suspicions, and making a tense situation worse.
4. I think the stress of confinement and the uncertainty of everything are making people angry and act out.
5. My agent is dealing with personal issues so I'm subbing- and not getting very far.

I could make a list with 100 points to complain. It's looking grim. I'm usually an optimist but yes, 2020 is taxing my supply of silver linings. It's time to stop and regroup.

 I have to (and I do) try to live by the above. So I'm going to relax, and the best way is to wander through my garden. New flowers are blooming:

Now that I'm relaxed, the next part is to imagine. While it's easy enough to imagine getting a book deal, it's not as easy to imagine that this quarantine will be over soon, or that we will find the answers to social injustice, or that we can soothe the festering anger. As writers, imagining is what we do. What would the world be like if we imagined a more perfect world?

“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.”
― Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts On Common Things

And because we can imagine, we can believe.

I can imagine these brown-eyed Susans in full bloom. They will be beautiful. I believe they will bloom (especially since I put up a wire fence to keep the deer from munching on the buds). A part of believing in our imagination is doing the work to make it a reality.  For stunning blooms, I had to put up the fence. For a book deal, I have to do the writing, revising, and submitting. For social justice, we have to look deep at what's wrong and make hard changes. For a kinder world, we must be kind. For anger, we must imagine ourselves at peace, and strive for it. 

"It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it." - Eleanor Roosevelt

So let's get started.

Char

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What I Hate About Writing

Yep, I'm going to rant. You know, writing's not the glamorous job people think it is. Here are the 5 Things I Hate Most About Writing:

Photo courtesy of Pexels, Mohamed Abdelgaffar

1. Microsoft Word and every other word processing program. They are written by geeks, and therefore, there are always glitches, or rather, stupid things that makes writers and other non-geeky people yank out their hair because IT MAKES NO SENSE. Take headers. You can insert them, but it isn't that simple if you want page numbers in a certain place and a different first page and a title. I have spent the last half hour trying to get the page numbers on my sci fi manuscript to make sense. Why does it stop halfway through the document and then start over? I did not click on a box for that. Grrrrrr. And EVERY PROGRAM IS DIFFERENT. I don't want to learn another stupid, doesn't-make-sense program. I won't live long enough.

2.  I hate when critiques give you completely opposite advice. "Cut this character." "I love this character!" "Less dialog." "More dialog." How can I reconcile all this? Granted, some opinions hold more weight, like from an editor or agent, versus someone who hasn't published their first book...but readers know good stuff (it's why only editors and academics like James Joyce....).

3.  I hate when I make revisions- and the manuscript is WORSE. Do I throw out both manuscripts and start over? Do I try to fix one of them? Uggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

4.  I hate when I have an idea, and I get the story written, but someone (i.e. editor, agent, crit group) says "I loved the premise sooooo much! But not the rest of the story."  *Bangs head against wall.

5.  When I have too many ideas to ever write them all in my lifetime because I'm busy fighting with the damn word processing software or revisions. You really don't know what you're going to miss...

Okay. Rant over. But I still haven't figured out the stupid headers.

Char

Can We Just Be Friends?

Oh, those dreaded words--especially when directed at you by someone you're interested in. In other scenarios, this is the best thing that could happen.

A blogger friend who has a critique group is in the midst of a war of words with a former prospective member that was asked to leave the group. I won't get in the middle of the conflict, but will offer general words of 'Do This, Don't Do That' guidelines for critique or any other groups.

1. Not everyone's going to like you--and you're not going to like everyone. As long as you're polite, brush off any comments or critiques that don't sit well. You're not all going to be best buds (or even buds), so don't make a big deal of it. This is not elementary school where you cry, wondering why someone doesn't like you. New member or group lifer, personalities will clash.

2. For the newcomer: you're coming into an established group. The other members know each other and it may be a little hard trying to fit in, but you've been invited into the circle so your foot is in the door. Coming off like a know-it-all is not going to endear you. Remember, you're the person changing the status quo. Be polite, listen, and learn the group dynamics before you stir things up.

3. For the group, the new person is like a kitten, trying to mark a bit of territory for him/herself. Everyone needs stake a bit of 'space' in the group. You invited this new person in, so give him/her a chance to step into the waters. They may be in defense mode because you're all strangers, and he/she is unfamiliar with hierarchy, procedures, etc. in the group. Chill, lean back, and let them get their feet wet as you all familiarize yourself with the new dynamics.

4. Politeness matters--for everyone. What will you accomplish by insulting the group? You will get asked to leave. What benefits are there to disparaging a newbie? There's going to be a blog post ranting about your cold welcome. Professionalism counts! If you must vent, do so at home, with a non-writing pal, family members, or your partner--in private.

5. If the worst happens and the invite needs to be rescinded, when the newbie (or even an established member because circumstances change) walks out the door, end of discussion. For those getting 'uninvited,' swallow your anger and hurt. After all, if the group isn't a comfortable fit, do you really want to stay and be miserable? Of course not, so just move on. There is a group that works for you out there, keep looking. Neither side should run to Facebook, Twitter, blogs, or websites heaving their guts about what went down. It doesn't look good or bode well for the person spewing the vitriol.

What makes me sound like a know-it-all (and I don't, I'm just a 'know-some-of-it')? I've had a critique group for a number of years and people have come and gone. Some I was sad to see leave, but they had their reasons. Others, I couldn't wait to shut the door behind them (and lock it so they couldn't get back in). That's the human condition--agendas, personalities, expectations, needs, perspectives, and experiences lead to conflict (as if the world situation/history weren't proof of that!).

Group not working out? Say thank you for the invite, but you need to go elsewhere for what you need/want. Individual not working out? Apologize for the situation that leads you to ask them to find another group that is better suited for them. Then, everybody HUSH! See, easy!

The publishing world is tough enough without us turning on each other like cannibalistic piranhas.

Be good to each other!

Char