Still Hanging Around...

 Yes! I'm still in the blogosphere, although not much here anymore. BUT! I CAN BE FOUND HERE:

YA Outside the Lines

and here:

Smack Dab in the Middle

and here:

Blog – Charlotte Bennardo

Those are the blogs I write for, but here are my other social medias:

Charlotte Bennardo (website)

Charlotte Bennardo - Just another writer querying (@charbennardo) / X

(8) Charlotte Bennardo (@charlottebennardo) • Threads, Say more

Charlotte Bennardo (@charbennardo.bsky.social) — Bluesky

Instagram

Pinterest

(7) Facebook 

So pop in somewhere, follow along, say hi, (buy a book...), and let's chill.

NEW BOOK ANNOUNCEMENT COMING SOON! 

Enough! The Gloves Come Off...

No one knows better than me how tough the book business is. Unless you're a famous, or have hit the bestseller list with a previous book, authors have to do more and more of the marketing, public relations, and selling of their books with decreasing help from publishers. Everyone's scrambling for money and attention.

But that's not what I'm complaining about. Today, it's about trolls. Specifically, one who promises 'honest' book reviews and helpful marketing. They posted once in my comments, clearly trying to sell me on their services, and I allowed it.

Then they started posting two and three times (or more) on subsequent posts, even those that didn't relate to writing, like last week's post about my painting patio chairs. I've marked them as spam, but somehow they still manage to post in my comments.

So, NEVER USE HONESTBOOKREVIEWS.COM because they troll you until you want to commit felony homicide. (Maybe this will get their attention.) Seriously, if you have to harass and torment a writer to get them to look at your services (we won't), then how good can your service be? These people are as bad as the Replacements by Anderson Windows (they keep calling, mailing, leaving leaflets for new windows WHEN WE HAVE NEW WINDOWS...BY ANDERSON). I would never recommend these two because of the unrelenting harassment.

And as long as I'm ranting- PLEASE STOP SENDING ME STUFF: ASPCA, Disabled American Vets, St. Judes, USO, American Heart Association, and American Cancer Society, to name a few. I support a number of charities. There is only so much I can donate. I make these donations once a year, in October. Save $$ and stop with the 'gifts' which make me believe you're wasting the money I send you to help people and animals by SENDING STUPID STUFF. Playing cards? Almost everyone uses their iPad or laptop. Cards? People send email greetings. Calculator? Use my phone, thanks. And NO ONE really uses a paper calendar anymore.

So chill with sales pitches and stuff, save the earth by reducing this waste, and don't talk to me until October. Then you can all duke it out for donations.

Oh, and here's a picture of my kitty to make you feel better about being a pain in the ass.

Char

You, You, YOU BLOG TROLL!

It's not nice to call people names, but sometimes insulting someone is better than wishing evil things on them.

I'm talking specifically about Blog Trolls. You know these types of people; they leave comments to get free advertising. When I did a post about finding the right chair to work at my desk, I got a number of 'comments' thanking me for my post- and then listing their business which happens to be selling chairs. Of course I delete them. Sorry, if you don't buy my book or give me free advertising, you can't ride my blog coattails for your stuff.

But the worst are those trolls from other countries. When they respond in poor English, followed by a message in a foreign language, I get the feeling they are up to no good. Between all the phishing scams, hackers, and just crazy people out there, I'm taking no chances and blocking you.

And yet, they still keep trying to post.

A recent spate concern me; they are written in Arabic and with the world situation, last thing I need is the FBI or CIA or Homeland Security showing up at my door demanding to take my laptop. I'm already on their radar (or I was) when I did research for my Blonde OPS novel about guns, the First Lady, the Secret Service, Italy, and poisons (well poisons were for another novel). So you can see why I might be of interest to them. (And especially since I had my browser shut down more times than I could count.)

You can call me paranoid, and maybe you might call me racist, but if a reader responds- multiple times- in a foreign language, I'm taking the extreme precaution of deleting and blocking them. So whoever you are, you might as well STOP TROLLING ME. Stop wasting my time and pissing me off, or I will ask karma to find you and set your computer on fire (better yet, I wish for YOU to get hacked and have it held hostage so you have to send gift cards to get control back).

(Photo courtesy Pexels, Pixaby)

Internet trolls are uglier than gargoyles. 

And, nobody likes you. (If your mother knew what you were doing, she'd pull your ears.) So leave me alone, go to your room, and find more constructive ways to live your life. 

Rant over. 

Char

One at a Time...

Once a year, usually in September, I clean my kitchen cabinets. It's a job I hate. I have to sort through boxes of food and throw anything stale out (recycling the boxes), go through dishes (how many water bottles do we need???) and decide what appliances/gadgets to get rid of (veg-ini anyone?). Then I have to clean the cabinets on the inside and clean/polish the outside. It's time consuming. No one notices unless I don't do it. And no one else will do it for me. (Well, I could pay someone I guess, but would they do it the way I like it?)

To do it all at once is overwhelming. Too many cabinets, drawers, and time. But it has to be done (with 3 boys in the house, it gets to be a mess).

So, I set a goal of one cabinet a day. If I miss a day because of other obligations, then two the next (even if it's the two smallest, it's still two). Eventually, it gets done and I am relieved for another year (until someone spills something and doesn't clean it up).

It's the same with this old manuscript I'm trying to revise from adult paranormal to new adult. It's a mess (I didn't think so, but several years of dust collected on top of it while hidden in the closet). I need to get rid of clutter, throw out anything that's bad, and reorganize what I keep. Like the cabinets, the manuscript must be organized and workable.

But I so don't want to do this, it's overwhelming (and I'm sure anyone who knows me knows I HATE multiple revisions). This manuscript is 385 pages. To do it all at once, I think I'd rather clean the cabinets. But like the cabinets, if I do one, two chapters a day, it will get done. With no deadline, there's no panic. Plenty of time. Maybe too much time because I don't feel any pressure. Some people, like me, work better under pressure so I'll impose one on myself. I want to be done with cleaning the kitchen by the time school starts in September. I want to be done with this revision by November so I can work on my NaNoWriMo project. In between I have scheduled book events, blogs to write, bell practice/performances, holidays, family obligations, and who knows what else will come up.

Here's my attack plan:

1- Inventory. (What do I have in the cabinets, what's in the story outline?)
2- Check what's no good. (Is that box of crackers stale? Is that plot thread working?)
3- Empty the trash. (Yep, box of crackers and can of nuts have to go. And that character is dead to me.)
4- Rearrange what's left. (All crackers on one shelf, straighten out plot hole left by dead & gone character.)
5- Restock. (Buy new crackers that everyone will eat, add details to smooth out plot changes.)
6- Polish. (Coat of wax on wooden cabinets, read through for any grammar, spelling, or other mistakes.)
7- Start the next project. (Cleaning out closets, working on NaNo project.)

Now I have to clean two cabinets and revise two chapters since I spent yesterday reading, thinking about what to write for this post, and doing physical therapy for my knee (nothing serious). No excuses, just gotta do it.

Keep cleaning- cabinets, manuscripts, whatever...


Char

Consider Me Culturally Confused...

My grandmother and I shared a love of Asian art. Not 'inspired' but genuine Asian art. Here's my living room with several pieces:

Even though friends and guests of Asian ancestry have been to my house and admired (or at least haven't said anything negative) about it, does this make me a criminal? Or at the very least a racist?

In today's ever divisive world, probably yes.

Cultural appropriation is the adoption or use of elements of one culture by members of a different culture. (Wikipedia)

I see more and more angry tweets, blogs, rants about one culture 'stealing' from another. Looking past the "America is a melting pot of peoples, cultures and religions," theme for now, let me state that I would never wear a Native American headdress because of its religious significance, the same as I would never wear the Pope's mitre. It's not right, the same way I wouldn't consider wearing a holocaust uniform as a Halloween costume because it's insensitive, possibly demeaning. 

Yet the Urban Dictionary says of cultural appropriation: 

"The ridiculous notion that being of a different culture or race (especially white) means that you are not allowed to adopt things from other cultures. This does nothing but support segregation and hinder progress in the world. All it serves to do is to promote segregation and racism."

That's kind of how I feel. I believe that sharing the best of our cultures with people who show an interest in them is the way to bridge gaps. I wouldn't wear a geisha's outfit, but my husband has a silk tie he bought in Japan. Is he a criminal? Or not because the Japanese didn't invent ties, so maybe they are the criminals? 

See what I mean?

It's confusing and exhausting, and no matter how you discuss this, a lot of people get incensed and we have yet another thing to argue about and take sides over. While I think it's ridiculous for young white men to dress like they're from a ghetto, I don't think they are committing a crime or 'cultural appropriation' because I don't concede that rapper-style is a cultural element- it's fashion, which evolves. 

We need to celebrate diversity- in books, people, thinking, religion, culture- but I believe we can't use it as a wall to keep one group separate from the others. A 'this is only mine and you can't touch it' attitude will turn people away, leaving you alone just as you requested and then you become alienated and to use a word I hate- 'disenfranchised.' 

Look at St. Patrick's Day coming up this Thursday. First of all, the man never made it to our shores let alone drove out any snakes so it's purely an Irish-from-Ireland cultural thing. But, have you noticed that on that day, almost everyone wears green, shouts Irish sayings, drinks green beer and hangs out in a party mood?

Everyone's Irish for the day. I never hear of anyone complaining that others are taking away their culture. I see no harm coming to them- they delight in seeing everyone sharing in. Kinda nice, if you ask me. 

So, now I'm even more confused. It's okay in this instance, but not that instance. 

Someone draw me up a list of rules because I can't understand it.

Hoping all eyes, Irish and everything else, smile on you-

Char

(image courtesy of Bing/Microsoft)

It's International Name Your Car Day

Really.  I got this off a list of (obscure/fun/strange) holidays from http://buildbookbuzz.com/blog/

So, in honor of my new car, a 2013 Honda Accord, I had to come up with a good name. My previous car (shhh, keep this on the Q-T because Mariah [They Call the Wind Mariah, not Mariah Carey]) doesn't know she's up for sale... I'm getting choked up, I love that car.

Middle son suggested "Car-lee." (You can tell he's not a writer type- even though I love bad puns, I passed.) Hubs rolled his eyes. Youngest son walked away. Oldest son laughed and continued texting.

Being that the car is Japanese, it has to have a Japanese name. So I searched Japanese names (I'm not particular if it's male/female gender name--it just has to 'strike' me.  Mariah and I were gal pals, and she's not replaceable in my car love, so I'd prefer a male name. It would be especially fitting because this car has all kinds of buttons, knobs, electronics- very confusing, hard to understand, time sucking to learn, and frustrating, like the males in my house.

The winner: Takara! It sounds punny enough and it means 'treasure.' While it's not a Porsche or Lambo, I'll treasure this car as long as it's dependable, gas efficient, and I can avoid all the rest of the whack jobs on the road (already had to deal with one, but that's another story).

Here he is:

(You can see Mariah on Craig's List- 2002 Impala.)

The whole idea Build Book Buzz was getting at was ways to increase attention to your book by taking advantage of these 'holidays.' (Hey, I didn't create them.)  It's kind of fun (really, I name all my cars). But linking it to my book?

I just finished writing and several revisions- I haven't even seriously submitted it to my agent, so I can't really use this holiday to promote Lethal Dose. It's a sci fi book and the main character, Dalen Steele, has a space ship that's small, sleek, slick, and super fast. He loves that ship. Not as creative as moi, he calls the ship his 'Baby,' much to the confusion and chagrin of Myca, his Lexian mentor (they have no sense of humor anyway). I'm hoping next year I can use this holiday for promo purposes, but in the mean time, Dalen & I will continue to name our modes of transportation. It seems only right when they are sometimes all that stands between you and certain death.

Goodbye for now from Takara and me,

Char

What My Son Didn't Tell Me...

Computer genius that my son is (2 sons are my IT people), he neglected to tell me that Google will not allow me to post my blog without allowing the gazillion ads. In other words, you can't activate the AdBlock.

So my posts have sat in the draft pile.

I have enabled the annoying, irrelevant, and tedious ads so that I can blog again. Sometimes, the corporations win, what can I tell you? I'm powerless.

So.... catch up and I'll be with you regularly again.

*shakes head, grumbles about stupid restrictions on technology.

Char

Can We Just Be Friends?

Oh, those dreaded words--especially when directed at you by someone you're interested in. In other scenarios, this is the best thing that could happen.

A blogger friend who has a critique group is in the midst of a war of words with a former prospective member that was asked to leave the group. I won't get in the middle of the conflict, but will offer general words of 'Do This, Don't Do That' guidelines for critique or any other groups.

1. Not everyone's going to like you--and you're not going to like everyone. As long as you're polite, brush off any comments or critiques that don't sit well. You're not all going to be best buds (or even buds), so don't make a big deal of it. This is not elementary school where you cry, wondering why someone doesn't like you. New member or group lifer, personalities will clash.

2. For the newcomer: you're coming into an established group. The other members know each other and it may be a little hard trying to fit in, but you've been invited into the circle so your foot is in the door. Coming off like a know-it-all is not going to endear you. Remember, you're the person changing the status quo. Be polite, listen, and learn the group dynamics before you stir things up.

3. For the group, the new person is like a kitten, trying to mark a bit of territory for him/herself. Everyone needs stake a bit of 'space' in the group. You invited this new person in, so give him/her a chance to step into the waters. They may be in defense mode because you're all strangers, and he/she is unfamiliar with hierarchy, procedures, etc. in the group. Chill, lean back, and let them get their feet wet as you all familiarize yourself with the new dynamics.

4. Politeness matters--for everyone. What will you accomplish by insulting the group? You will get asked to leave. What benefits are there to disparaging a newbie? There's going to be a blog post ranting about your cold welcome. Professionalism counts! If you must vent, do so at home, with a non-writing pal, family members, or your partner--in private.

5. If the worst happens and the invite needs to be rescinded, when the newbie (or even an established member because circumstances change) walks out the door, end of discussion. For those getting 'uninvited,' swallow your anger and hurt. After all, if the group isn't a comfortable fit, do you really want to stay and be miserable? Of course not, so just move on. There is a group that works for you out there, keep looking. Neither side should run to Facebook, Twitter, blogs, or websites heaving their guts about what went down. It doesn't look good or bode well for the person spewing the vitriol.

What makes me sound like a know-it-all (and I don't, I'm just a 'know-some-of-it')? I've had a critique group for a number of years and people have come and gone. Some I was sad to see leave, but they had their reasons. Others, I couldn't wait to shut the door behind them (and lock it so they couldn't get back in). That's the human condition--agendas, personalities, expectations, needs, perspectives, and experiences lead to conflict (as if the world situation/history weren't proof of that!).

Group not working out? Say thank you for the invite, but you need to go elsewhere for what you need/want. Individual not working out? Apologize for the situation that leads you to ask them to find another group that is better suited for them. Then, everybody HUSH! See, easy!

The publishing world is tough enough without us turning on each other like cannibalistic piranhas.

Be good to each other!

Char