Help Needed: English Pros and Non-Tech People

 Sometimes I wonder who creates and checks the Microsoft word processing software. I'm not talking about making the software run or fixing glitches, I'm talking about their so called 'grammar' expert.

(Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels)

'Cause they ain't no expert. 

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Those annoying underline dots where they insist that a semicolon is needed. Um, no. I put a comma for a reason. Like everything else in English grammar, there are rules that can, and sometimes should, be broken or ignored. This program does not recognize any digression. Even when warranted.

When I put in a rhetorical question, it demands a question mark. Ok, I'll give them that one even though there are instances when it is so obviously not a question. AI is only as smart as we make it (so far).

The thing that bugs me the most, other than the screwy way to add and modify headers? Insisting on commas where one isn't needed. I think I know better than you, Microsoft, about commas. No, I'm absolutely positive I know where to use commas better than you. I have an English degree and a journalism degree. I've had newspaper and magazine articles, and several books published. I write my own weekly blog and a monthly post for another. I'm in the middle of writing and/or revising several books. Your word processing software was created, most likely, by a techy person who writes code, not paragraphs or books. I think you're just going to have to trust me on this. Often times your program reminds me of those instructions that come with products from other nations where English is probably the last language they use, yet they print out directions that leave English-speaking people dumbfounded- and struggling to assemble or use the product. They need to hire someone whose native language is English to proofread.

I think, besides hiring a person with strong grammar skills, you need to hire a person like me. Very little tech skills so if I can't get the program to do what I want without screaming for my tech-savvy sons to help me, then you have a problem with the way the program works, or at least you need to simplify it. I wasn't born with computers and electronic games and such in my hands like the current generations, who are most likely writing your programs. To them, it's easy (unless we're talking about grammar). You have to give us 'more creative, less techy' people a break. And your 'help' button is mostly useless. Really. If it was easy to use, I could stop being afraid of my kids moving out, leaving me in a technological panic. 

There are other issues with the program, but I'll stop here, I think the message is clear. Hire an English major when you're working with the written language.  

Have a nice day.

Char 

Break Time!

Do you take a break between manuscripts? Don't you think your computer might like a little respite too?

Photo courtesy of Drew Williams, Pexels.

These are some of the things I like to do when I'm in between manuscripts:

1. Clean your screen and keyboard. If you're like me, sometimes when you get on a creative roll, you eat and drink at your desk (or in the coffee shop, or on the couch, or patio table, etc.) Eating means sticky or greasy fingers. Using lens cleaner or a dampened with water cloth (NO PAPER TOWELS- THEY CAN SCRATCH), clean both screen and keys.

2. Don't forget to clean INSIDE your computer: get rid of junk, old emails, copies of your kids' school papers, spam, anything you don't need. Then, do a defrag to clear out memory.

3. Now's the time to get anything fixed: replace worn out power cords, keys with no letters on them, make upgrades, etc.

4. Clean your workspace. Dust the desk, throw out papers, clean the clutter. I like to reorganize my workspace once it reaches critical: too many papers, projects, and 'stuff', like a tiny rubber shark from a book festival that just sits on my desk. Happy work space, happy worker.

5. Organize the notes and pages from the project you just finished. I keep each project in it's own cardboard box. Once the book is published and about 2 years old, I throw those notes out. I figure that's a safe period of time if anyone wants to sue me for plagiarism. I have the work product which shows my progress and that the novel is mine.

6. Since each project can span over a year (or two...) with revisions, and I'm working on several different projects, I spend a lot of time on my laptop. To help reduce eye fatigue, I enlarge the type to 125%. I can still see the entire page at this level.

7. Think about lighting. Is your space well lit? How about the background on your laptop or desktop. A little more light can also reduce eye strain.

8. Maybe you need to change the scenery a bit; add a plant, a new picture, whatever boosts your mood, and therefore, your productivity. Whatever the subject, I have a little something which relates to the work; a little figurine, a picture of a Hollywood movie star that I think my character looks like, or even a crystal or such. I put it on my desk and it can sometimes inspire me when I get stuck.

After a short rest and recharge, both you and your computer will be ready for the next project.

Happy writing!

Char