Head Banging Music

Only this is the music I'm hearing....

My head actually banging the desk. Because I'm arranging a blog tour for Sirenz Back In Fashion (it releases June 8, but you may get it sooner, depending on if you pre-order or show up at the right event), working on numerous presentations for the Society of Children's Book Writer and Illustrators conferences, trying to see which book launches for my fellow authors I can make, doing signings, trying to work on not one, or two, but THREE books (I cut out the fourth), and do all the mommy-wifey-community stuff I've got going on. That's why my blog is two days late.

Someone send in the Marines. Please.

Char

Well, Duh, That's Obvious--Or Did You Forget?

I was at a book signing in the Neshaminy Mall Barnes & Noble (whoa, HUGE mall!) with fellow Kidlit Authors Club members Alissa Grosso, Elisa Ludwig, Artie Bennett and Cynthia Chapman Willis. After stocking up on a Starbuck's Chai Latte Venti (it's over an hour's ride, I needed to be fortified at 8:30 p.m.), I said goodbye and popped into my car.

It was pretty dark. I'm so busy paying attention to the GPS and (sorry) frenzied PA drivers on the Turnpike, I didn't see the little notice stuck under my windshield wipers. I turned the radio off to better  hear the GPS, and heard something flapping--and that's when I saw this:

A card from the local police and security at the Mall. One was stuck probably in every car. On the back says are a list of safety tips. While you may say, "Duh, obvious," how many times do we dash into a store and leave stuff on the seats or the GPS in the window? (Um, guilty) Have you ever forgotten to lock your car? (Um, guilty) By reminding us to be personally vigilant, we save ourselves from being victims, and cut down on crime. Kudos to Neshaminy Mall security and the Bensalem police for this gentle but timely (Warm weather, everyone's out more) and important reminder. It may seem no big deal, but if you've ever been a victim of crime (Um, me), you realize how much we take our safety for granted. (And yes, I waited until I was safely home to pull it off my windshield, rather than get out of my car on a busy turnpike or a dark road. Points for me.)

So lock your car, hide your valuables and take your keys. And let's stay safe out there....

Char

Dear Derp...

Or Herpa-Derp if you're a female. (I realize I'm violating the Rule of Cool by using this word as it's only to be employed by teens, but bear with me. I'm desperate.)

Back to Derp and/or Herpa Derp. I don't know who (or what) you are, but you call all the time; from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. (You SERIOUSLY have no life. Pathetic.) When I answer, you don't. Really? If you're letting a computer dial my number and hope I'll hang on for a time so then you'll pick up when you hear a person's voice, then a) you're too slow, b) that's totally rude and unacceptable, and c) after failing so many times, one would think you'd give up. But, I guess stubborn persistence being one of your few talents, you keep on.

So, if just a few of the ten thousand people who hit Natalie Zaman's blog for her Derp post  http://nataliezaman.blogspot.com/  call "Unavailable" (that's the name that shows up on caller ID) at 1-800-XXX-XXX and annoy the hell out you like you have been doing to me, I figure we're square. If anyone finds out who this pest is (bet you wish you listened to your parents and studied harder so you wouldn't be in such a loser telemarketer job where everyone hates you), please let me know and I'll do a follow up post and let everyone else know so they can further annoy this Derp. Or Herpa Derp.

If you're working for a charity, then I hope they'll change their methods. Constantly harassing me with phone calls will not get you any money, and in fact, you will lose donations because I'm going to post which charity you are. If you're a political person (I'm an Independent, so I don't care who you are), I won't vote for you and will make sure I tell every person I can--and this blog will help--not to vote for you. If you're a university or college looking to interest my son in applying, you can cross yourself off the list because I do not want him to go to a college where you employ such low class methods; God only knows what you'll teach him. If you're anyone else, why they hell are you bothering me?

So, let's all get on our phones and call Unavailable at X-800-XXX-XXXX so they leave me the F alone.

Have a nice day! :)
 
UPDATE:  The number belonged to Federal Express. (that's why I removed it.) There is a package coming for my son, but why they don't have a better system for notifying me (uh, email anyone? real person to make call?) is beyond my guess since they are a multi-billion dollar company. And if no one answers, WHY DO THEY KEEP CALLING? I work mostly from home, and generally let calls go to voice mail because I don't want to be interrupted when writing. Unless you're a spouse, child, family member, co-author, agent, editor. And ESPECIALLY if you don't identify yourself. And if you're a telemarketer, I'll ignore regardless.

Mystery solved.

Char

Chicago, Chicago...

Sing it with me!

Okay, those are the only words to the song I know. So I'll show you some pics from the Romantic Times convention I went to with Natalie Zaman now that I've cleaned out my email spam box (563 idiots missed me.). Friday was kind of slow for us, so we slipped out with Amalie Howard and her lovely mom and aspiring author Cate Hart.

This is a famous tower (No, not the Sears one). You see it a lot in movies and stuff. I think people generally fall off and die. Thought we might perish if we didn't get our Chicago deep dish pizza! The waiter was close to my gnawing on his buff ankle if he came any later!

Chicago is located along the Chicago River (for you peeps who didn't have geography- me- or just plain don't remember all those names). You can walk along it on beautiful sidewalks, there are cafes, benches, gardens. It's just so breathtaking (at least when it's warm. May be a different story when it's blowing snow and ice).

And this is what signing day was like- so many authors in one place! We were located in Teen Alley (you're seeing the other half). My friends Amalie Howard and Kristi Cook and many new friends were on that side. On ours we were sitting next to award winning Franny Billingsley! Down our line were Cole Gibsen, Ann Aguirre, and so many (my brain is still fried from it all) I wish I could remember. Check Nat's blog, she collected autographs so she can tell you who was there. You can't see the lines for Anne Rice, le grande dame, or JR Ward (on fave list!). Wanted to see Mary Janice Davidson (my humor muse) but people wanted signed copies of Sirenz! Finally met Katelyn Torrey, of Kate's Tales of Books and Bands blog and some new Sirenz fans.

(Do NOT ask me about doing the worm dance at the YA pajama party. Bones are still creaking. The things we authors do to promote our books...)

It was fun and exhausting and silly and hard work and eye opening. Lots of new friends- authors, publicists, literary agent-mates, aspiring authors, fans. Next year the theme is:

Going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come....

Will we see you there?

Char

A Forgotten Tradition - Revived

Last Sunday I was at Books of Wonder in NYC doing the YA Teen Author Fest signing (lots of great authors- hope you didn't miss it, but if you did, you missed a lot!). During a signing lull, a book lover/blogger came up to me and asked me to autograph a book- not Sirenz, but a book she was keeping of all the authors she'd met. (Let's face it, very few people can buy every book put out- that's why we desperately need our libraries!)

She was bringing back, via a suggestion from her mother, the Autograph Book. (These were very popular when I was in elementary school, before the younger grades started doing yearbooks. We would put funny poems like, "Roses are red, daisies are cream, my face is funny, but yours is a scream!") She got all the autographs of the authors there - I think there were 66 of us throughout the day!

So I'm imitating her with a twist- I'm collecting authors' autographs and their bookmarks. The journal I bought at Walmart for a few dollars has 265 pages and a pretty blue cover (it's like a journal).

That's a lot of signatures. Maybe when I fill it up, I'll keep it, or auction it off for charity, I don't know. Who knows, maybe I'll get the signature of a newbie author who turns into the next Anne Rice, John Green, Suzanne Collins, etc.

But Nat & I get first page. Now I just have to get her signature. All you authors, you're next!

Char