Beware the Hole!

I was relaxing, in my jammies, with a cup of tea and a cat on my lap, watching one of my favorite Hallmark movies. In the first 10 minutes.... Plot hole!

Photo courtesy of Anthony DeRosa, Pexels.

And it wasn't the only one. By the time I got to the end, there were 8 plot/situation holes. How did all of them get past:

author

agent

editor

copy/film editor

producer

director?

Here they are:

1- A minor character, a soldier, tells main character that he and girlfriend set wedding date. He immediately gets killed. Main character gives dog tags to 'widow.'

2- As the camera pans through the picturesque town, sometimes there is snow, sometimes not- and sometimes it's the same place, like a main character's home, on the same day. (not a plot hole, but a situational/filming hole. Still, someone missed it.)

3- Main female character's hair is perfect when she is in the office. She goes outside for a brief scene, hair gets wet from falling snow and looks droopy. Yet, walks into the office and wa-la! hair is perfect again!

4- A supporting character has a horse drawn sleigh, and mentions he wants to put wheels on it. Camera pans across sleigh, and... it has wheels.

5- It's a Christmas movie, so there shouldn't be little green buds on the trees....

6- This is more an acting thing, but director should have caught it- female lead doesn't close her eyes when kissing the hot male character, so I'm not convinced of the attraction. (I would have offered to take her place.)

7- People in the church are singing (really pretending) and their mouth movements don't match the words to the songs. At least the main characters seem to know the words. (The others have hymnals so they should have been able to fake it better....)

8- In the end scene, the main female character is chasing after the main male character, who's had a head start leaving town. And yet, she had time to run to a diner and get a chicken salad club with extra crispy curly fries to go, and bring it to him.

Don't get me wrong, I still love the movie, but careful editing is essential. I've read books where I stop and say, "Wait! That can't be!" It's even WORSE when it's my own book.

So Hallmark, call me, I'll be happy to watch and suggest edits. And, maybe, you could take a look at my manuscript....  ;)

Char

What Are You Trying to Write?

I not only host a critique group, but I do short critiques at SCBWI (Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators) conferences and one day critique events. I give and get critiques. No matter how successful the writer, a critique by an objective person is essential.

There were a lot of good stories, and I was glad to offer a few helpful comments. One thing I noticed some writers struggled with: English was not their native language- and it showed. Now English is a challenge even for those of us born speaking it. It has so many ridiculous rules:

Hoof (singular) but hooves (plural).

Okay, loaf to loaves. Got the hang of it?

WAIT.

Roof to roofs.

I mean, like, what the heck?

Don't get me started on the 'i before e, except after c' rule because that works only half the time:

weird
forfeit
albeit
glacier
seize

Photo courtesy of Burst, Pexels. 

These are just two of the many exceptions. There seems to always be an exception to every English grammar/spelling/writing rule. Then, there are the issues of slang, metaphors, and multiple word meanings. I do not envy anyone having to learn English.

And this brings us to writing in English, which is even harder than speaking it. There are a number of native English speakers who can't write well, but for the English-learning group, it must be a nightmare.

Here are a few tips for those who struggle:

1-  Read your work carefully. Sometimes reading aloud helps, and unbelievably, changing the font. I know that I read aloud passages in my manuscripts when something feels just a little bit 'off.' Your brain tends to interpret your writing, skipping over mistakes, because it knows what you meant to say. Many times I've read some text, only to find I've left out words like 'to, and, for' and others. My brain unconsciously supplied the missing word in my head, but when you read aloud, the tongue only says what's actually on the paper.

2- You need a native English speaker to read the story. Whether you have a critique partner or friend who can read your manuscript (before you start getting outside critiques or submitting) this is practically non-negotiable. My husband spoke only Italian until grade school and even by the time he was doing post grad work, his writing skills were affected by being a non-native English speaker. I would read over his papers and help him with spelling, grammar, and flow.

3- Use Word features, like global search to see if you overuse certain words. I'm guilty of overusing 'just'. (It's frightening how often it appears in rough drafts.) Do you see those colored squiggly lines appear in a sentence when you write? That's Word telling you something may be amiss. The program isn't always correct, especially for the use of commas and other punctuation, but let it draw your attention. Read the line aloud; does it still seem correct? There are other programs, like  grammarly.com. which check grammar usage, the most difficult part of writing, but also spelling and punctuation. There are other programs, some of which are free, so do your homework and see which one fits your needs. Even if you have to pay for a subscription, it's worth it and will in the end save you time, money, and frustration, not to mention that you don't want to build a rep among editors and agents for being a poor writer. (Word does get around.)

4- Consider a professional editor. This can be expensive, especially if your manuscripts need a heavy editing hand. I would recommend you go through the above steps first, to reduce as many issues as possible. Then, check around with other writer friends if they use editors, what's being said about them in reviews, and what comes up when you Google them.

5- Take writing courses. Check grammar and author websites for helpful writing links. Shop around. This is time-consuming research, but vital. I have a degrees in English and journalism but I took writing classes which specialized in writing for children. Writing a chapter, middle grade, or young adult book is very different from writing for adults or a job. You have to be conscious not only of writing well, but of language usage; for example, not using college level words that your intended younger audience won't understand.

If I wanted to write a book in Spanish, it would be an onerous task because it's not my native tongue and what I learned in high school is not enough to produce a professional, polished manuscript. I admire anyone who attempts to take on the challenge of writing in a learned tongue. You have to work harder, but if you want your manuscript to get serious consideration, you must take the extra steps because editors and agents will simply reject any work that will require extensive editing. They simply don't have the time, and with so many hopeful authors out there practically tossing novel drafts at them, there's no need. There is always a slush pile, open submissions periods, and agented writers to supply them.

Good luck!

Char 

A New Arrival...

I got a new laptop.

I don't have everything up and running, and I'm bugging my sons. Somehow, my wireless printer is printing reverse- black page and white letters. It's very hard on the eyes, especially when I swam and the chlorine has me looking like a red-eyed demon. So, bear with me.

In the meanwhile, keep writing, take time to enjoy the little pleasures of the holidays, don't get discouraged, and do something good for you, and nice for someone else...

Photo courtesy Pixaby, Pexels. 

Char

Excuses and Thankfulness

I didn't realize how few posts I've done lately. As usual, I have several good excuses:

1- My husband retired so there were dinners and such to attend.
2- Spent 8 days in Los Angeles visiting our son.
3- Getting ready for Thanksgiving i.e. volunteering to clean up church grounds, practicing bell music for Thanksgiving Eve and Christmas Eve services.
4- Working to finish a novel overhaul
5- Working on selling stuff out of garage so I can put my car in there before the snow (anyone need some great toys or bedroom furniture, check out Craig's List or comment me....)
6- Spending time with family because tomorrow is not guaranteed.

I'm taking the easy way out here and am just going to say:

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Photo courtesy of Fauxels, Pixels.

I'll sign off for at least a week by giving you 5 things I'm grateful for:

1- Family and friends.

2- To live in a country where there are opportunities for self, for others, for the world.

3- For health.

4- For the ability to make a difference, however small, in the lives of people, animals, the environment, the nation.

5- For my talents/skills either natural, limited, or learned that I can use on my life journey.

Wishing you all health, contentment, and peace.

Char

It's Veteran's Day. In my family, my father (Navy) and two uncles (Navy, Army) served. I salute and honor them and all who served.

Photo courtesy of Craig Adderly, Pexels

May God bless them and all who follow that tough road so that we may breathe free.

Char

Don't Use That Word With Me!

Not a rant, exactly, but there are some words I detest. Even as a writer. Strange, right? But it's like even though I'm a cat lover, I think hairless cats are ugly. I would never harm them, but I'd never get one as a pet. Same with these words. I'd never use them because we aren't friends.


1.  'drug' vs. 'dragged.'  I don't know, it simply sounds uncouth when I hear or read something like, "I drug the truth out of him" vs. "I dragged the truth out of him." Are you with me on this? It just sounds incorrect and ignorant.

2.  'bemused.' Webster's dictionary says it means "confused, or mildly amused." Well, which is it? Sometimes I can't tell if a character is amused or confused by the context. Don't tell me "she was bemused by his outburst" because that doesn't clarify the meaning. She could be confused by his outburst, as in he had no reason for such emotion, or she could be amused, because he had no reason. Which is it??? Pick a better word.

3. 'didactic' which in case you didn't know, means, according to Webster, "Instructive, or inclined to teach or lecture others too much." No one except academics and snobby writers use that word. Had a classmate who used it all the time to impress the prof. Hint: he wasn't impressed, and neither were we.

4.  Okay, not a word, but more of a colloquial saying. "I had went shopping." Sorry, that's just wrong. "I had gone shopping." Or, better, "I went shopping." Get rid of both 'had' and 'went.' And stop making me cringe.

5. The 'n' word. It seems to me, that if a word is a slur against a whole community of people, the 'cultural appropriation' of that word by the said affected community is NOT the thing to do. I hear POC calling each other that name, and I while I know it can be meant as a greeting, it's also derogatory. It's akin to calling a woman 'bitch' in a song, or women calling another woman a bitch. It can mean that she's badass (so say that!) but it also can mean that she's a terrible person, it's meant to put her down, the same way slave owners used the 'n' word. Both words (and a few others I won't get into here) should be eradicated from vocabulary altogether. Let's not glorify them, okay?

I think maybe I'll start a list of words I strongly dislike and see where it goes. 

Until then,

Char

Drawing the Line in the Blood...

Not writing a murder mystery, but there may be some scary stuff here. I'm going to list why I won't watch certain Halloween movies.

1. Halloween (2005 remake). The original was scary. The danger of doing a remake is that we know what's going to happen. Throwing in gratuitous sex, nudity (funny, only women were nude, you sexist jerks), and cursing doesn't improve the movie. You need to do better than that. And, while it's a nice idea to give us background on Michael Meyer's childhood, I felt the movie copped out: he was subjected to bullying in the home by his stepfather and sister, and by kids at school. He lived in poverty. His mother was an exotic dancer. The house was a slum. He kills little animals before moving onto the school bully. Serial killers, psychopaths, and sociopaths don't necessarily have these disadvantages. Think of Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, etc. It felt like the writers and producers wanted to give Michael an excuse for his psychotic behavior. Most of the time, remakes suck.

2. Leatherface, Texax Chainsaw Massacre, Saw, et al. These movies, while they achieve scaring the crap out of people, do it by pure gore. I know it's based on a true story, but the intense gore is totally nauseating, especially as special effects get more realistic.

3. Sequels 2,3,4.... I'm laughing at Jason and Michael after the second sequel. Ghosts, demons, vampires, and other supernatural characters can be hard to kill and/or can be resurrected. In the original premise, Jason and Michael are fully human. There needs to be an arc for them to move from human to supernatural. (Can anyone say PLOT HOLE?) At least Freddie kills in your dreams, which allows for sequels (even though they were pale ghosts of the first movie). And enough with the sequels. No one cares about Freddie, Jason, Michael, and other very tired villains. There are wonderful writers out there. PICK. SOMETHING. NEW. (Pssst, I have an idea....and a ms.)

4.  "Homemade" movies. While I thought the Paranormal Activity movies were excellent, Blair Witch was too shaky (looks like my hubs's videos at Christmas) making some people queasy. There was little tension because the camera bolts all over the place and it disorients the viewer. At least, I felt that way. And then they made a sequel? Didn't bother to watch that one.

Wanting to leave on a positive note, here are some of my faves and why:

1. Dracula (1979, with Frank Langella). It had suspense and no plot holes, and seriously, Frank Langella is the sexiest vampire. (no sparkles). He is the epitome of an alluring villain- he doesn't even have to use his 'come to me' mojo to get the gal. 
2. Paranormal Activity. In the style of Hitchcock, these movies kept you on the edge of your seat, just waiting to see a shadow- you never had to see a ghost, demon, etc. Just footprints crossing a barrier of powder on the floor scared you. And, NO GORE! They used the barest minimum special effects, but it felt realistic enough to make you sleep with the lights on.
3. My favorite Frankenstein movies are Victor Frankenstein (2015) with Daniel Radcliffe and James McAvoy, and the original b/w Frankenstein (1931). Not scary, but just so well done. Radcliffe and McAvoy bring freshness and twists to the original story. And the first is always a classic. Even over 80 years later, the purity of the original is unbeatable; Karloff is the best monster.
4. Although not scary, The Mummy (1999) with Brendon Frasier and Rachel Weisz had humor, a few made-you-jump scenes, romance, history, and was all around a fresh take- we see how he became the Mummy and the set up for his return.
5. The scariest movie ever- one that I will never watch again, is The Exorcist. If you've seen it, enough said. If you haven't, then you're afraid.....

Other faves: Blade series, The Mummy Returns, Alien, Jaws, Rosemary's Baby, Silence of the Lambs, Salem's Lot. While not all "Halloween" movies, these had tension and scenes that made you almost wet your pants. Non-scary movies: Practical Magic, Hocus Pocus, Young Frankenstein. 

I could list tons more, but you get the gist.

Wishing you Happy Haunts and Halloween!

Char