Tech Update...

Okay, I was ranting about Amazon and the VAT (value added tax) certificate, which is just another form of taxation. Connecticut has it in that they tax your car every year.

Turns out, it was a spoof- made to look like Amazon Britain was sending this, along with Amazon Germany. (Those countries have even more taxes than we do- so not like it looked suspicious right away).

Being so-so on tech savvy (ok, maybe a little less than so-so), I knew enough not to give out any personal info or passwords. From now on, whenever I get anything that asks me to do something, I'm going to double check with the company directly.

Lesson learned.

Now, I'm busy with getting ready for a party for the hub's work associates, working on my YA revisions, doing physical therapy, and so much other stuff. But here's a nice picture of a squirrel. Because I love squirrels...

Photo courtesy of Pixabay, Pexels Inc.

Enjoy the rest of summer.

Winter is coming...

Char

It's The Little Things...

That drive you the craziest. Like, "Fill out this form." Okay, sounds simple enough.

Except when it's in German. Okay, Translate function!

Except when Amazon.UK (Britain) is sending you the message about a tax certificate in Germany. Okay, contact Amazon and talk to them.

Except when you go to fill the forms, Amazon won't recognize the email that you've been using for sooooo long (like forever) for your books, but wants to use the family email that you use for Amazon Prime when you BUY things, not when you SELL your books. Okay, Amazon tells you to clear out your cookies.

Except even though you know what cookies are, where they hell are they? Okay, get son to help clear out cookies.

Except thanks to Amazon for that stupid advice, now I can't access ANYTHING- like Twitter, Facebook, Author Central on Amazon... OKAY, so son helps me load in ALL NEW FREAKING PASSWORDS.

Except I STILL CAN'T ACCESS THE DAMN TAX FORM TO FILL OUT BECAUSE AMAZON GERMANY WON'T RECOGNIZE IT ME.

Honestly, I don't think I've sold any books to Germany, so F it.

Take that, stupid European Union.

Photo courtesy of Pexels

Some days, I need something stronger than chai lattes to deal with this stuff.

And Amazon wonders why authors hate it (besides the fact that they squeeze every last penny out of us that they can).

Onto revisions while I wait for someone who may/may not show up to buy a bed I listed on Letgo, and then want to chew the price down to like $5 and pay with a check that could bounce and then I get stuck with $35 in bank fees like ten other people previously, because I haven't SUFFERED enough.

Char

Rutgers, Here I Come!

I am excited, thrilled, joyous, flipping out happy that I have been selected to be a mentor at the Oct 2019 Rutgers One on One Conference! This conference, which is put together by the Rutgers University Council on Children's Literature, is celebrating its 50th anniversary! Not only is that special by itself, but I attended two of these conferences at the beginning of my writing journey, and I'm a Rutgers alumna! It's almost like giving back.

So if you're an aspiring writer, I'm sorry you've missed this year's deadline, but I will be taking notes and pics, so stayed tuned. I'll pass on news and helpful hints from the conference.

For now, I've got to go shopping- I have NOTHING TO WEAR!  JK. But I've gotta start thinking now about getting ready.

*Sings:  I'm so excited....

So stay tuned, and I can't wait to meet all those fresh-faced, energetic attendees! (I think I'll bask in their aura of hope and determination to give myself another kick in the butt to get through these revision blues.)

Tools of the Trade

Or rather, tricks.

Every profession and hobby has little secret ways to do something, a shortcut unknown to the amateur. We on the inside like to keeps these tricks to ourselves- it makes us feel like we're in on the 'know' while others aren't, and it's a big help that we hope gives us an edge.

When I was a house painter (a very short career), I worked with my mom and stepdad in his business. He had all these little tricks that the average homeowner didn't know that helped him be a better painter than they were, which is good for business. Nothing a lay person does looks as perfect as when the pro does it.

One of those tricks was to tint the primer as close as possible to the paint color. Back then, primers and paints were separate- first the primer, then 2 coats of paint were required for a perfect finish. But tinting the primer usually meant you could skip the second coat of paint.

One of my tricks that I'm going to share with you is how to stop in the middle of a writing run, and be able to pick right up when you get back. You've been there; you're writing up a storm, the muse is dictating faster than you can type and you don't want to lose the momentum.

But life intercedes.... Gotta make dinner. Have to go to work. Must take care of kids/parents/pets etc. Some say stop in the middle of a sentence. Sorry, but that just doesn't make sense. How are you to know where you were going in that sentence? It might be obvious if you're in a situation like where the lookout on the Titanic spots the iceberg, or your characters are in the middle of a love scene. Or, if the previous sentence was something like, 'She pulled the gun and aimed right between his eyes.' All these examples pretty much set you up for when you return. However, unexpected breaks in writing sometimes leave you in unexpected places and you won't remember where the plot was marching.

Trick of the trade: First, finish that sentence. (I don't know too many authors who can stop in mid-sentence anyway.) Second, jot down a few sentences about where you're heading on that page. (Sometimes sticky notes get lost or pushed off, so put these notes on the page where you'll pick up.) I think 3 or 4 are good, and you can write them in shorthand like: she shoots, misses. they grapple over gun. gun goes off, him dead. Twelve words, and it feels like at least one chapter. No more guess work, or trying to wrack your brain (what was I thinking here? where was I going?). This is especially helpful during NaNoWriMo when you're attempting to write a whole book in 30 days and you have to get words down whenever you can to stay on track. If you get interrupted numerous times, it's hard to get back in the zone and that's why a few notations on where you're going can be a life/story saver.

Photo courtesy of Start Up Stock Photos by Pexels

Back to revisions... Now where was I....

Something Writers MUST DO....

It's summer, but I'm still working on books and revisions. But it's the time for vacations, relaxing, doing fun things too.

So I'm chilling a bit. Working, but at a much slower pace and with frequent breaks to the pool and hammock. Writers need to step away at times to recharge not only their bodies, but their creativity. Constant creation, like constant running, working, or even writing, is draining. I need, and deserve, some time for recharging, refilling, and plain ignoring 'chores' for 'me' time.

I recommend you do the same. Summer, beautiful days, and easier schedules don't last forever...

Char

You, You, YOU BLOG TROLL!

It's not nice to call people names, but sometimes insulting someone is better than wishing evil things on them.

I'm talking specifically about Blog Trolls. You know these types of people; they leave comments to get free advertising. When I did a post about finding the right chair to work at my desk, I got a number of 'comments' thanking me for my post- and then listing their business which happens to be selling chairs. Of course I delete them. Sorry, if you don't buy my book or give me free advertising, you can't ride my blog coattails for your stuff.

But the worst are those trolls from other countries. When they respond in poor English, followed by a message in a foreign language, I get the feeling they are up to no good. Between all the phishing scams, hackers, and just crazy people out there, I'm taking no chances and blocking you.

And yet, they still keep trying to post.

A recent spate concern me; they are written in Arabic and with the world situation, last thing I need is the FBI or CIA or Homeland Security showing up at my door demanding to take my laptop. I'm already on their radar (or I was) when I did research for my Blonde OPS novel about guns, the First Lady, the Secret Service, Italy, and poisons (well poisons were for another novel). So you can see why I might be of interest to them. (And especially since I had my browser shut down more times than I could count.)

You can call me paranoid, and maybe you might call me racist, but if a reader responds- multiple times- in a foreign language, I'm taking the extreme precaution of deleting and blocking them. So whoever you are, you might as well STOP TROLLING ME. Stop wasting my time and pissing me off, or I will ask karma to find you and set your computer on fire (better yet, I wish for YOU to get hacked and have it held hostage so you have to send gift cards to get control back).

(Photo courtesy Pexels, Pixaby)

Internet trolls are uglier than gargoyles. 

And, nobody likes you. (If your mother knew what you were doing, she'd pull your ears.) So leave me alone, go to your room, and find more constructive ways to live your life. 

Rant over. 

Char

It's National Clerihew Day!

What the heck is a clerihew?

Wikipedia describes it as: 

A clerihew is a whimsical, four-line biographical poem invented by Edmund Clerihew Bentley. The first line is the name of the poem's subject, usually a famous person put in an absurd light, or revealing something unknown or spurious about them. The rhyme scheme is AABB, and the rhymes are often forced. 

So here's one I wrote about me:

Charlotte Bennardo
Doesn't know what to do.
She keeps on writing
So why aren't editors biting? 

Be clever and write your own- it's a lot of fun! (Just don't be mean, 'k?)


Char