Excessively Excessive

Our culture has a thing for excess. Whether it's super sizing our burgers, or getting a venti coffee, or spending $75 on stuff you don't really need to get free shipping. Too much of a good thing is never a good thing. Here's another illustration. I have to take medication for excess stomach acid. In order to save money, I buy the multi-pack.

Ok, good, smart move. Inside are three bottles:

In each bottle, is 14 (yes, FOURTEEN) pills:

Which means each bottle is less than one fourth filled. That's a lot of empty space (and plastic) to hold so few pills.

So, 42 pills fills my hand this much:

All 42 could fit into one bottle.

So two plastic bottles and a cardboard box were excess.

I've read some books that were as loaded with excess words- verbose dialogue, lengthy backstory, copious details. I won't reveal those books, but you've read them, or have your own list. You roll your eyes, and sigh, and either plow through (I admire you for that), or like me, you toss the book aside because you have better things to do with your time, like read a better book or write your own. And if you write, maybe... you need to look at your own word usage. A cool writer's trick is to either read your story aloud, or have someone else do it. You can also change the font, because this tricks the eye and brain into thinking they don't remember the words coming next, so it's like a new story. Repetitive words will pop out, or you can do a global search. There are programs designed to help check your work, like Online Editor, Text Analyzer, or Sentence Checker. Long sentences (if you run out of breath before you can finish the sentence, then the sentence is excessively long) should pop up too. While Pulitzer Prize winners and mega bestsellers can get away with excessiveness, we, the average writer, can't.

And since writing novels doesn't pay by the word, there's no need to be excessive.

Char

Tick, Tock, Countdown...

It's almost time! Although the 'official' start of our NaNoRevMo is next Monday, let's go through a few last minute things.

-You'll need to revise/reread your manuscript several times- but don't expect to do it multiple times in this month (only if you're on deadline, are stuck with nothing else to do, you have plans after the revision or you're quite adept at editing).

- When you sit down, do it in a workspace that encourages you to work hard: no too soft couches, no distracting noises (I can't work with music because I tend to sing along, and then the lyrics suggest other books, etc.) Make sure it's well lit, a comfortable temperature (but not too warm, it'll make you sleepy), you have space for all your resources like your theasaurus, coffee cup, etc.

-If you don't have to, don't answer the phone. There is nothing worse than being in the middle of a great thought and the phone rings for someone who wants to sell you something you don't need/want, or a friend/relative calling to chit chat. If it's your kid from school or someone else who you know most likely needs to talk to you, answer it- but jot down your thought first! It helps if you can tell your loved ones/friends that you'll be busy and could they call you after dinner or whatever hours you plan to work.

-Plan a schedule. Some of you have kids, like me. Some, jobs. Some, a sick relative. Whatever else you need time for, plan your editing around it- even if it's an hour while the kid is at sports practice as you sit in the car, or first thing in the morning before everyone is up. Find at least 1-2 golden hours total a day.

-There may be some days that you can't get any editing done. Like NaNoWriMo, don't beat yourself up! It took many writers years to write and perfect their drafts (and there still were changes), so unless you know aliens are coming next month to take you away and you want to leave the draft for your family to inherit, don't sweat it. It will get done in your good time. (But don't be a slacker! Don't give in to excuses like, 'I'm a little tired. I'll do twice as much tomorrow.' You don't want to get caught in the I'll-catch-up-eventually loop. A real writer can't rest until the job is done. Be one of those.

-You're going to have to cut up your baby. Be brave, be swift. Even when you have to lose scenes that you just love. (I'm still struggling with this- it's okay to cry and swear and throw a few pillows at the wall if it'll make you feel better. Usually it doesn't.) The goal is a polished novel, and like a gemologist, sometimes you have to sacrifice perfect bits so that the whole gem sparkles. And no, it never gets easier, but you somehow learn to do it and live with it.

-Take a break! Long periods of time sitting in a chair whether it's at Starbucks, your dining room table, the car, where ever, can make you stiff and drowsy. When you're pondering whether to kill a character, change settings, or even throw out a bunch of chapters, get up, get a drink, a snack, walk around. It may help you think, give your body an adrenalive boost. Never have everything at your fingertips.

-How do you work- on your laptop or the old fashioned way of pen and paper? I've done both, although for the first time through, I like the laptop. I fix the obvious- misspellings, format (centering of chapter titles and numbers, starting chapters halfway down page, etc.), obvious inconsistencies like when a character's name changes, and a general global search for those words I know I overuse, like 'just.' Then I move onto the paper and pen because it's slower, more deliberate (and I can take it anywhere- I can edit standing in line.) I find the mix of the two forces me to be more thorough.

-Stuck? Don't panic. Discuss it with someone (unless your relative/friend is an editor, agent, or fellow writer, find someone more neutral. No matter what, anyone with a close connection is probably going to like it. Trust me on this.). This is where a critique group helps (they can/should be brutally honest.) Or, make a list of possible solutions and see which one jumps out at you. Realize though, that you can't simply hopscotch over the problem and come back to it later because it's a domino effect- the problem gets bigger as your novel progresses. Fix it asap and let the rest of the manuscript fall into place.

-If the fat lady's singing... or simply if the book is not working- the characters are flat (fixable), the plot plods (fixable) or the dialogue is stilted (fixable) or the point of view jumps all over the place (fixable)- you can save the manuscript. But if you have a combination, most, or all of these problems, it might be the death knell for this book. There is not one successful author that doesn't have several novels sitting in a drawer or lighting the logs in the fireplace. It happens. Don't give up too easy- try to work through it by listing all the problems and then solutions. Attempt a resurrection, but if it doesn't work, kiss it goodbye and move onto that other idea that's been intruding at inappropriate times, keeping you from sleep or work.

-Don't even think of a 'book doctor' until you've attempted to fix it yourself. It's like calling in a carpenter to tighten a loose screw. If you become accustomed to relying on someone else to correct the flaws in your manuscript, you won't get valuable practice and experience, and if you ever sell your book to a traditional publisher, you won't be able to make the edits yourself. Plus, it'll cost you a fortune.

So get everything into place, read those books, make some notes (I know you've noticed some things needed fixing as you wrote the novel...). Maybe a chapter outline (one or two sentences per chapter) is a good starting point, so that if you have to cut out/add scenes, you can see how it might affect the subsequent chapters.

I'll be working on my time-travel YA romance. I've done one pass but I know it has a major flaw so that it reads as a collection of short stories. I need a better connector (I'm not using a time machine so I have to be real creative). Now that my belove New England Patriots didn't make the Super Bowl I won't waste time preparing for a big party and watching the game. This week I will be finishing my middle grade and my NA sci fi edits (again) so that I can focus on the time travel while we all edit together.

See you Monday, February 1st!

Char
All graphics courtesy of Microsoft, Inc.

Making A List, Checking It Twice...

Actually, you'll be checking your manuscript many more times than twice. If you thought you only had to do it once, maybe twice, this is a very rude wake up call. For Sirenz (1st book), the revisions led to a stack of paper (between my co-author and I) to about my height (I'm 5'9"). Yep. I have boxes of revised, discarded, marked up pages. So, don't get too comfy, we've got a lot of work to do.

So grab your tablet, your Monte Blanc, your laptop. We're making a list of the things you need to look out for when editing.

The Easy Stuff  (Things you should know, but we're going to remind you.)

-Grammar (know if you use an apostrophe, a semi colon, a double quote. If you don't, consult one of the books I mentioned in previous post that you should have in your possession.)
-Spelling (don't rely solely on spell check; it doesn't know between read and red.)
-Consistency (If you've changed your character's name, town, eye color, gender, etc. make sure it's the same all through the novel.)
-Cliches (Unless the character is making a bad joke, eliminate them all, along with slang phrases that will date your work.)
-Dangling Sentences (Authors can take some artistic license, but if your sentence)
-Dialogue Confusion ("Go away," she said. She flipped her hair back, "I don't want to talk to you." If this one gal talking, or two? Make sure dialogue tags, modifiers and context make it clear who is speaking.)
- Repetitive Repetitive Words (There will be certain words that you love- everyone has them-but you use them way too often. Trim down the places where you use it.)
-Appropriate Language (Middle graders will not say "I must consider all the ramifications of your actions." Make sure the language fits not only the age, but the situation, place, and culture of your character.)
-Descriptive Language (Can't have too much, can't have too little; you have to find the balance between boring us to death with drawn out descriptions of everything and everyone, and leaving us struggling to picture the character or the scene.)
-Fact Check (even if you write fantasy, science fiction or contemporary fiction, you need to do basic research. The laws of physics have to work on other planets unless you can explain how they don't, but then you need research, right? If you're writing adventure stories, maybe you need to know the difference between a trebuchet and a catapult. Have the right highway when a villain gets run down. Don't wing it because readers will pick up when you're wrong.)
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The Hard Stuff (Things that will take more than one glance, may have to be read aloud or by someone else to be picked up.)

-Solid Characters (Characters can't be perfect, too insipid, stupid, or blind. Moments of those things, yes, but not all the time. Make sure they aren't one dimensional; they need a personality and some depth.)
-Clear Plot (You remember high school English- your story must have a setting, rising conflict, climax, and resolution. Action is required even in 'quiet' books.)
-No Info Dumps (This is where the author spends numerous paragraphs--or pages--'telling' us background info instead of weaving it in through dialogue or internal thoughts, observations and knowledge of others. The rule is show, don't tell.)
-Unrealistic Elements (If your character knows what someone else is thinking, unless they're a superhero who can read minds, that's unrealistic. No one can know what's in another's head. Another example is knowing always the right thing to do or having everything work out perfectly. That doesn't even happen in fantasies)
-POV (Point of view- can't have everyone's thoughts jumping out, shouldn't have too many viewpoints-unless you're doing speculative fiction, you're really good at it, or you're famous and people let you get away with it. Know the difference between first person, third omniscient, et al.)
-Time Skips (Your character is going to the store on a Monday afternoon and suddenly they're waking up to Thursday morning. Unless they were drugged, in a coma, knocked out, went through a wormhole or have black outs, you're jumping the time line.)
-SAT Quizzes (Don't use big, fancy, overly pedagogish words. You're not checking SAT knowledge. Say it clearly. This is where that thesaurus comes in handy for synonyms.)
-Flow (Does the action flow consecutively? Do speech and reactions make sense, are in the right place? You don't want your character to ask a question that never gets answered, or the other character answers 5 pages later.
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Yes, this is a long list- and it's not everything you need to check. As you learn to review your work more thoroughly, you'll pick up more with each pass. No crying or whining because this is part of the writing process. If you want to get published, and even if it's just for you to write and read, it should be the best it can be.  So...

We're in this together. We all made mistakes and need to correct them. If you think anything should be added onto the list, add it for yourself.

Until next week, keep positive.

Char  

(All images courtesy of Microsoft)

F word in review...

F-bomb

Yeah, I use the F word occasionally. Like when you fall on your butt while hiking and break your tailbone. It's almost expected and anticipated that you're going to let loose the F bomb.

But in book reviews?

I'm not a fan.

I understand some people are very free with the word, that's their style. But if you're judging me on my writing and style, you need to show some. I mean, how can anyone take you seriously if your vocabulary is constrained by constant F bomb usage?

And if it's in your novel dialogue, I understand if that's part of the character, but constantly wading through a stream of them does not add substance to the writing, it detracts from it. I think of prison criminals or street thugs yakking it up when there are more than a few.

When my sons let loose the flying Fs, I always tell them that it shows lack of imagination, especially when they are using it in context with someone being, well, an asshole. It's so mundane. Boring. Trite. Unimpressive. All good insults are those which the person being insulted isn't aware they were until they think about it. Think of Bilbo Baggins in The Lord of the Rings: "I don't know half of you as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." I still giggle over that one, and wish I had an opportunity to use it. Maybe at my own eleventy first birthday.

Then there are the tee shirts with that word or other obscenities printed on them. Okay, you made your point, "Look at me. Gasp. Be offended." Because sometimes, we are offended. Especially when my kids were younger, I didn't want to go to a theme park and see that or worse. I still don't like to see it. Wear it at home and annoy your family.

In the end, repetitious use is like what Ralph Waldo Emerson said: "Foolish consistency is the hob-goblin of little minds..." which means if you can only do the same thing over and over (i.e. dropping the F bomb) you're not too bright.

Char