Author on the Loose

What Two Oceans Cannot Divide

2012-02-24T08:44:00.000-08:00

She was born on a family farm in a remote town in Calabria, Italy.

He lived on the farm next door.

From childhood into adulthood, they saw only each other, promises unspoken by word, but made by love.

Then war came, and with it, roving bands of soldiers, looking to impress young men.

And they found him. Took him away to fight a war he didn't want, didn't believe in. Whatever food the soldiers could steal, they did, leaving the families hungry. Only unharvested potatoes, still in the ground that the soldiers refused to unearth, were left.

Away they took him, but he promised to come back to her. And she promised to wait for him.

So she worked the farm, struggling with her family through those desperate times, wondering where he was, if he was still alive.

He fought in Africa until the Allies caught him. And made him a prisoner.

The war ended. Seeking a better life than the desolate farm, he journeyed to Canada, finding work in Chrysler Automotive plant.

He didn't forget her, but there wasn't enough money to send for her. But he could marry her--by shortwave radio. While she stood in her white wedding dress on the arm of her brother in Italy, she spoke her vow of love till death. From Canada, he promised his love.

She waited. Two years. Then came the day there was enough money for a one way journey to her new world. Leaving behind the wedding gifts, and all she knew, knowing there was little chance she'd see her family again, she traversed the ocean, not in First Class, but freighter.

Soon there was a baby girl. Eighteen months later, a baby boy, their family complete. Five years of happiness.

She ran to the hospital. His last words spoke of his children.

Alone, she emigrated to the States where she cleaned houses, worked in hotel laundries, babysat other people's children to feed her own.

For 51 years she mourned her Tomasso, keeping her vow of no one but him till death.

On a quiet day, she rejoined him and renewed their vows of love forever.

This is the story of Gilda and Tomasso, my in-laws. And I will write their love story.

Wishful Thinking...

2012-02-23T06:38:00.000-08:00

If Sirenz ever made it to the movie/TV screen, and became only a quarter as big as Twilight, or The Hunger Games, this is what I'm going to get:

http://www.chevrolet.com/camaro-special-edition/

But make it a convertible, electric blue, black interior, only-I-have-the-keys edition.

Char

Do I Have To Finish It?

2012-02-22T10:51:00.000-08:00

Am I talking about my mom making me eat yucky vegetables?

(As if she could in my own home. And yes, I hate artichokes, kale, collard greens, broccoli-rabe, eggplant and okra.)

No, it's a book. I hate starting books and not finishing them because I want the story resolved, even if poorly. But, now I'm in the middle of a book, and it's gotten good reviews... and I hate it. I'm 3/4 through and I'm still waiting for the major conflict. It's all building, albeit snail-a-bly (my word) s l o w. When it takes me two months to finish a book, on the 'hate' heap it goes, to be given away.

I'm not going to reveal the book because maybe it's just me. We've gotten one 'awful', a few 'not my type' and several 'meh' reviews. Understandable because Sirenz is humorous and humor is subjective, some people have no sense of humor, and some people prefer angst/zombies/vamps/despair/whatever. Not every book is for everyone. But if a book is bad enough where I don't finish it, then I'm sorry, but the editors missed this. And the cover is 'everyone's doing it' girl with flowing hair in a long dress (because we women all go around in flowing dresses and hair). There is nothing about this book, from the characters, to the cover, to the plot (is one going to reveal itself, I wonder?) to whatever ending there may be, to compel me to finish it.

And you can't make me.

Char

I Love To Hate-

2012-02-21T09:00:00.000-08:00

Now that we got Valentine's Day/week out of the way, let's talk about Hate.

It's okay to hate. Don't gasp and look horrified and hide your face. Here's a list of things it's okay to hate:

1- Cruelty- in any form, disguised or overt, it's never cool.

2- Eggplant- I mean really, it's a purple, nutrient and vitamin free, tasteless vegetable.

3- Those ugly shoes that look like skeleton feet- They are uglier than almost any fashion accessory I have ever seen. Even zombies think they're ugly (I asked one.).

4- Cold feet. Mine are always cold. And my hands and nose. I HATE being cold! Where's summer?

5- Mini-Coopers- can you just get out of the clown car and into a real one? For that much money to buy that dumb-looking, not as good on gas as it should be death-trap, you can almost buy 2 American cars.

I'm going to stop at five- I'd hate to go overboard.

Char

497, 498, 499...

2012-02-20T08:13:00.000-08:00

Shoes? No.
Cats? Never.
Diamonds? I can dream.

But no. Those numbers represent the overly repetitive use of the word 'just.' Natalie was editing her latest manuscript and found the word used over 500 times. Yikes! So I did a check on the word 'had' in Sirenz Back In Fashion, which I'm editing now. It was used 297 times.

Did we need all of them? No.

Some of them? Yes.

Over the course of 60,000+ words, that's barely a bump. But where I deleted it, it made the sentence stronger because had is a helping verb. I like to think of it as 'helping ' water down the action (I jumped vs. I had jumped. Both are past tense, do you really need the 'had'? No.)

I'll get back to you and let you know how many I took out. Maybe you'll want to look at your manuscripts and see which words you overuse and get rid of them. Keep a few, but dump the rest. If you're looking to reduce your word count, this is a great place to start.

Char

Checking In

2012-02-19T15:10:00.000-08:00

And checking right out.

Because I'm sick.

Manana... Maybe

Char

A Little Self Indugence

2012-02-18T06:56:00.000-08:00

When we renovated our house, it was toward 'What do we need?' More space. 'What will give us the best return on our money?' Not doing anything crazy or trendy or overpriced.

But in all the practicality (that master ensuite will lure buyers in when we're ready to sell. really), I wanted something unique, just for me, that didn't have to be practical.

So I begged, pleaded, cajoled, whined and demanded my library. The old dining room became my book sanctuary:

Why yes, that's Sirenz in the middle, waiting for her sister, Sirenz Back In Fashion. I hope to add many more siblings.

Char

Looky!

2012-02-17T07:14:00.000-08:00

I took this just moments ago- in my front walkway gardens.. Daffodil sprouts!

It makes me....

So......

Char

Why Is It...

2012-02-16T07:32:00.000-08:00

That smoke alarm batteries die at 2:47 a.m.? The heat is low, it's cold, don't want to wake anyone up (as if! No one wakes up for anything around here unless it's a hot breakfast!), so I'm tiptoeing in the dark. This is my brain/body at 2:47 a.m.:

And if you crazies are on the road AGAIN today, like you were yesterday, cutting me off THREE times so I had to slam on the brakes, well, I'd give me a WIDE BERTH today.

Not even a Chai latte may improve my mood. Just sayin.

Char

Yeah, One Thing I Got Down Perfectly

2012-02-15T07:31:00.000-08:00

It's taken me 15 years to perfect. The ONLY way to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Anyone who sends kids to school with that staple (provided it's allowed), needs to learn this. It will save you money because your kids won't throw away soggy sandwiches then come home and eat you into homelessness. It will save you from untold hours of lamenting, fighting, whining that they hate their lunch. And it will make you the Goddess of the Brown Bag. (You do know that lunch boxes, pouches and grocery bags are uncool, right?)

Here's the secret:

Thin coat of peanut butter on one slice of bread.

Thin coat on the OTHER slice.

NOW put the jelly (I'd recommend jam because it's thicker and more consistent to spread) IN BETWEEN.

The peanut butter protects the bread from getting soggy.

I know, brilliant, right? And I'll even let you take the credit with your kids for being the smartest mom ever. :)

Char

A Priceless Gift of Love

2012-02-14T06:22:00.000-08:00

In honor of Valentine's Day, I'm going to tell you a true story.

The house was decked out for Christmas; stockings hung in the window, three Christmas trees shone brightly through the windows, lots of lights twinkled on bushes and off the house trim, candles lit every window, a wreath graced the front door, and a Christmas flag welcomed all.

But all she wanted for Christmas was snow.

It was too warm, we hadn't had snow that early for almost decades. Oh, it was just about cold enough, but the snow didn't come around Christmas anymore.

In the early evening of the 23rd, a huge truck, pulling a trailer carrying what looked like a giant fan drove into the driveway.

Four hours later, there was snow; on the house, over the front yard, in the driveway. A line of traffic quietly, slowly, drove by in an almost steady stream until after Christmas night to view the beautiful scene.

When people complained about how much it must have cost for that vista, and how the money could be used on better things, I thought, 'How sad for those people. They see dollars and things.'

I saw the priceless gift of love one man gave a woman.

Because all she wanted for Christmas was snow.

Char

Trust Me On This

2012-02-13T06:48:00.000-08:00

I've read a lot of manuscripts; mine, friends', critique groups, and those I'm paid to critique, so some things always come up. We're supposed to be professionals (or aspiring to be) and yet I see so many silly, preventable mistakes. I'm thinking editors and agents out there will vigorously nod their heads in agreement. How much horror on the white page do they witness?

I'm not going to talk about spelling mistakes (shame on you, with spell check?) Even if it's the wrong word, at least if it's spelled right, you get 1/2 a point. The absolute correct format style isn't so absolute with the exception of double-spaced, typed (yeah, I have to put that in), and 12 point New York Times or Courier font. Where new chapters start (ideally halfway down the page) is sometimes moved to the top, 2/3 down, and places in between. And if you're bad at contractions (Really? At this age? Get a book on grammar!), at least you know it and should make an attempt to correct as many mistakes as possible.

My favorite pet peeves are 1) use of the 'helping' verb and 2) sloppy editing. First, what 'help' is a word that waters down action and drags the story out? You want dynamic action verbs. To wit:

I had started to run down the street when the zombies suddenly appeared, armed with chainsaws.

Is that better than:

I ran down the street when the zombies suddenly appeared, armed with chainsaws.

Did I really need to use 'started' to run (because I did, didn't I?) and if it's past tense, did I need the 'had'? Answer to both is no. And, you saved three words: had, started and to on the infinitive. Plus, doesn't it sound more exciting? You're cutting right to the action. Go through your manuscript (do a global search, it's easier) for had and have and see how many times you used it. Some you have to keep, (I can use 'must' here and get rid of 'have to') but most you can eliminate.

Sloppy editing is the bane of my writing life. We all slide a manuscript by from time to time, thinking our friends will fix it up. Besides not being fair to your friends asking them to do your work, you won't sharpen your own skills. Your friends won't be available to continually edit your writing. And we all know that sloppy editing will kill your story, even if the editor or agent thinks it has a lot of potential. They don't want to do all that work, and if you can't be bothered, why should they? There are thousands of writers out there with polished manuscripts, so it's easier, quicker, and cheaper to select someone who puts every effort into polishing their text.

A few mistakes are no biggie. We've all seen mistakes in the final book (although I have to say I haven't found any in Sirenz because Sandy Sullivan, our Flux copyeditor, is a goddess of editing. But if you find any, let me know and not only will I reward you, but I'll have it fixed for the next printing.).

The way to perfect your editing--numerous read throughs. You can't get all the mistakes the first pass through, because you'll make changes and that will lead to new mistakes. After you've read it no less than twice (stop groaning, this is the real world), pass it to a friend. Make changes, read through. My secret? When Natalie and I were writing/revising/editing Sirenz, we read it aloud, and we read the other's chapters. If I stumbled on a sentence, or had to reread it to understand it, we knew she had to fix that sentence. Reading aloud helps you to actually hear how your work sounds. It works even better with someone who doesn't know the story because they have fresh eyes, and won't unconsciously skim over parts because they're too familiar with the text. Time consuming? Yes. But when our editor Brian Farrey read Sirenz, besides telling us we were funny :) he said it was a polished work. I have no doubt that this helped in his decision to sign us even though we had to trash 15 out of 20 chapters. The writing would be there, but in a modified version.

Now go write, and write well!

Char

Slacker Sunday

2012-02-12T13:10:00.000-08:00

Yep, Sunday is my rest day. Well, there is no rest for writers, moms, and homemakers. I have to do laundry, change sheets, make dinner, do dishes, put away groceries, nag about homework, get things ready for Monday back-to-school-and-work.

AND I HAVE TO DO THIS BLOG.

I know, I know, I took the challenge.

So today's blog features the schedule I'll be signing for Sirenz or Sirenz Back In Fashion (so far):

March 5th, William Patterson University

March 15th- Public Librarians Association Conference, Philly Convention Center, PA. In booth signing, #1244. Both Natalie & I will be handing out swag and signing ARCs. Authors Alissa Grosso and Margie Gelbwasser will also be there from Flux, as well as authors from other houses.

April- NYC Teen Author Fest, Books of Wonder, 18 West 18th Street, NYC, 3:15-4 p.m. I'll be signing along with Jeri Smith-Ready, KM Walton, Victoria Schwab, and Jennifer Smith, among others.

April 11th-15th- Romantic Times Convention, Chicago. Both Natalie and I will be signing on Saturday at the Book Fair (exact time to be announced when available). There will be too many wonderful authors for me to list here!

June- Sirenz Back In Fashion debuts! We don't have a specific date or place but will let you know as soon as we work out a schedule and place. Of course we will be happy to sign copies of Sirenz for you folk who have (ahem) overlooked getting it...

June 8th-10th- NJ Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators Annual Conference, Princeton. We will both be presenting workshops and signing Sirenz/Sirenz Back In Fashion.

August 4th- YA Fest 2012, Easton Area Public Library, Palmer Branch, PA. 11-3 pm. I will be appearing with Jennifer Murgia and Cyn Balog, among others. Both books will be available.

NOTE* 1- For those signings where it's just me, Natalie will pre-sign bookplates so both signatures are available.

2- More signing dates and information will be added so you'll have to check in to find out the current schedule.

This Is Not Your Average Library!

2012-02-11T07:53:00.000-08:00

I have library envy. The good part is that this is MY library. And yours. It belongs to the American People. It is the Library of Congress. Look at this fabulousness! I will stack it up against ANY library in the world!

(All photos courtesy of the Library of Congress, Prints and Photographs Division, photographs by Carol M. Highsmith. Above Photo reproduction number: LC-DIG-highsm-01908)

Is that not breathtaking? Psst, wait until you see this!

(LC-DIG-highsm-01925)

Yes, there is a fountain! (Makes me want to jump in on a sunny day! I'm sure some Washingtonians felt the same way!)

Let's go inside. Did you know that the Library of Congress has sculptured bronze doors, marble columns and bas reliefs, stained glass windows, painted cantilevered ceilings, grand staircases,, murals depicting myriad subjects like printing, zoology, etc, Pompeiian panels of the virtues like courage and fortitude, renderings of Greek mythology like the Muses (a favorite!) and bronze statues?

(LC-DIG-highsm-01785)

A marbled staircase...

(LC-DIG-highsm-01961)

Imagine the grand entrance you could make here! Note all the carvings and sculptures. Then, there's this:

(LC-DIG-highsm-03187)

This is an aerial view of the Main Reading Room. You are surrounded by priceless art, history, knowledge. How could anyone NOT be inspired?! Let's go see more books!

(LC-DIG-highsm-02098)

Wonder where they have Sirenz?

(LC-DIG-highsm-03194)

This is the African-Middle Eastern Reading Room. One of just so many...

But it's more than just a beautiful place- these librarians are masters at their craft- all forms of knowledge and its safekeeping. Need to find an obscure article? Have to find a photo? Question about a book? These are the people to go to:

www.loc.gov

If the world's population perished, except me of course, this is where I'd head too. (First raiding every Starbucks on the way for Chai Latte supplies.) It would be a writer/reader's dream.

So check it out! Visit! Surf its site! Ask a question! Get the best research help in the world! This is the People's Library.

Char

Homegrown

2012-02-10T06:17:00.000-08:00

Friday is Wear Red to support a Vet.

I support the Wounded Warriors Project and the Disabled American Veterans causes.

My American flag will fly at full staff, day and night, until all our soldiers come home from Afghanistan.

So Buy American. Give, keep, create jobs at home so vets returning home, and other Americans, will have jobs.

God Bless America!

How Stupid Do You Think I Am?

2012-02-09T09:53:00.000-08:00

So I'm trolling my email spam folder because sometimes there's something important in there, and I come across an email traffic ticket. (Wish I'd saved a copy, I was getting them often, but that was before I started doing this everyday blog thing.)

From New York.

My first reaction was to check my calendar to see if I'd been in NY at the time.

Uh, no. If anything, I was in Connecticut at the time.

My second reaction was "How did the police get my email?"

And then it dawned on me that "Duh, this is a scam."

So beware, the scum are out in force.

(Clipart courtesy of Microsoft Office- because I can't draw and I don't have time to find a friendly police officer who will allow me to take his picture while he gives someone a traffic ticket.)

I Appreciate The Sentiment

2012-02-08T07:15:00.000-08:00

Going through the mail- junk, ads, bills, real estate listings.

And a hand written letter.

The script was old-school; elegant, neat, small. Definitely written by a woman. The return address wasn't anyone I knew. Maybe it was that ploy where a charity calls up your neighbor, asking them to send fifteen letters to friends, family and neighbors to solicit for them (By the way, don't ask me to do that, it's YOUR job; I have to live with my neighbors). As soon as I pulled out the letter, I realized it was a personal missive which included a religious newsletter.

I'm not going to prosletise. And I'm not going to be converted. What struck me is that this woman took the time to write a thoughtful, sincere letter. There was no condemnation of any beliefs, or lack, that I may have. There were no criticisms of any other religions, saying they were misguided or evil. I couldn't find a single reference to moral decay.

All I read was a message of comfort if I'd ever lost a loved one. On a personal note, I lost my grandmother, Estelle, days later. While I found this woman's words kind, I didn't feel any less grieved.

But that's not the point. While most people would have been annoyed, even angry, I felt... I don't know the exact word. This woman took so much of her time to write a personal letter to a stranger, wanting only to share her belief of how to live a better life. While I may not agree with everything or even most of what she wrote, I commend her for living her beliefs without being antagonistic, arrogant or degrading.

We should all take a lesson from Katherine.

Tuesday Tantrums

2012-02-07T08:40:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm going to have a tantrum today.

When your mouse moves over the word 'Rants' a stupid ad, THAT I DID NOT AUTHORIZE and THAT I HATE pops up.

Maybe you've seen it, been annoyed by it, and were tempted to leave me a nasty note about spam? I don't blame you, but you can't blame me. Who the Hell is Living Play and htf did they just pop up on my blog? I must track down these peeps, use some toe curling language and GET THEM OFF MY BLOG.

Help a girl out. If you can, send them a nasty email, telling them to get off the random words they show up on, on FB, PERSONAL BLOGS, even on Yahoo. Really, they are just as invasive, useless, annoying, and parasitic as spammers, hackers and telemarketers. And complain to all those who take advantage of our space- blogs, FB pages, Twitter accounts, emails, etc. to piggyback for their own selfish interests.

*I've emailed their customer service. Will let you know how it turns out.

Okay! I'm done for the day with my tantrum! Time for some tea and some writing! :)

Char

Response, Sil Vous Plait

2012-02-06T13:39:00.000-08:00

If you didn't grow up with computers, you might not know what RSVP means. (Hint: check out the title) It's French. And it means "Respond, if you please." Alas, it belongs to the lost art of replying to an invitation. A written one. One that requires you to write (or call) with an answer.

Although I dreaded having to write them but was forced to by my mother, my grandmother got written Thank You cards or letters. In later years, it became permissable to call (generally because we needed to confirm the gift arrived safely via UPS).

When relatives or friends passed away, scores of sympathy cards were sent to the family.

Now responses, thank yous, sympathies are all texted, tweeted, Facebooked, emailed.

I predict the current generation of elementary school students will not know how to handwrite much more than their names. What do you think? Do you use cursive beyond signing? Do you use print?

Char

Riddle Me This...

2012-02-05T08:58:00.000-08:00

It's the NY Giants, but they practice & play in NJ.

They practice & play in NJ, but are called the NY Giants.

NY should pony up for a Giants Stadium.

NJ should pony up for their own team.

That being said....

(Photo courtesy of New England Patriots)

GO PATRIOTS!!!!
That is all. Enjoy the Bowl.

Char

Romantically Yours

2012-02-04T06:41:00.000-08:00

Are we past the Age of Romance? I'm a sucker for a good romance, real or imagined. I like it in my Sc-Fi novels, in horror movies, in stories passed down from relatives. The romance between my mother-in-law Gilda and her Tomasso is the basis for a short story I wrote, and maybe a novel someday. Set against World War II, there is first love, the conscription of young men, invasion by the Nazis, separation, and reunion.

(Photo courtesy of Microsoft)

What's your most romantic story? Does someone you know have a romantic history? Doesn't have to be family. On Valentine's Day I'll share one of the most romantic true stories I know--and I'll pick a winner for the most romantic story you readers share. You'll win a $15 gift certificate; it can be for iTunes, B&N, whatever you wish. (Maybe for a little romantic gift for someone?)

So be brief, only a few sentences, just the gist, please. I will ask several people who they think had the most romantic story, so schmoozing up to me, while I enjoy it, won't get you extra points.

Winner will be announced Valentine's Day. Hearts & kisses,

Char

One of My Favorite Things....

2012-02-03T06:06:00.000-08:00

Is the Raritan Public Library. It's old world elegance, harkening back to a time when reading was looked upon by almost everyone as a precious gift.

The library is lodged in the former General John Freylinghuysen House. Originally built by an early Dutch settler in the 1700's, it has been a tavern, public meeting hall, jail, home and finally the library. Several additions have been added and the Federal style architecture appeared around 1810. Peter Freylinghuysen bought the property in 1970 and shortly thereafter donated it to the Borough of Raritan. In 1971 the building was placed on the National and New Jersey Register of Historic Places

See the light of wisdom shining on it? Wait, it gets better....

Here's a reading room:

Handmade reproduction period furniture makes it all cozy and inspirational. Somehow I imagine the Founding Fathers arguing over the grammar in the Declaration of Independence with a pint of ale (although the house in this form wasn't built until the 1780's).

Here's the children's room:

Now what kid wouldn't want to pick out a book and read it in the carriage, or at the tables, or near the fireplace?

And for the serious readers, look at these glorious stacks, packed with tomes of delight:

Need a break from reading? Meander upstairs to John Basilone room where you can see artifacts, documents, and photos of the decorated hero, and a even a small scale model of the USS John Basilone Destroyer.

If that's not enough to tempt you, the front reading room (there are bookshelves in every room!) is a cozy place to curl up with a book.

Director MaryJane Paese is one of the many helpful, friendly and knowledgeable people. This library offers a newsletter of events, staff picks, program descriptions and other information. There are crafting, knitting, yoga, family film and 1-on-1 computer classes, in addition to many special programs for children like a Lego party, storytime, and crafts. MaryJane and staff are working on expanding their Teen and Pre-Teen programs; they even have a teen blog: http://rpl.blogspot.com which will list new acquisitions, book discussion groups and other events. I will be there in mid-late May talking about Sirenz and Sirenz Back In Fashion, and answering writing/publishing questions. (Natalie is may be there as well, dependent upon schedule constraints).

Interested? Visit them at 54 East Somerset Street, Raritan, NJ, or hop over via www.raritanlibrary.org

Char

No Death Threats For The Rat

2012-02-02T05:54:00.000-08:00

Normally I'd be thinking what a nice coat collar Punxsuatawney Phil, the 'weather predicting groundhog' in Pennsylvania would make for even suggesting that we're going to have six more weeks of winter.

(Photo by Gene J. Puskar, AP, from USA Today)

But with the winter we've been having (60 degrees yesterday! I'm rocking an open sunroof on the car!) I'm eyeing my shorts and seriously considering taking that offer to open the pool prior to April 15th and saving a few bucks.

If the winter is like this, Rock on, Phil, rock on.

(Image by Microsoft Office)

Char

Are You Freaking NUTS?!!!

2012-02-01T07:23:00.000-08:00

To start my one-a-day blogging challenge, I'm going with the 'there are a lot of idiots' in the world theme. (I know, New Year's resolution to say something positive about EVERYTHING- that'll come at the end of the post.)

To that MBA in Marketing nitwit, and all the sycophantic lemmings who followed, approving this ad campaign:

Really? You couldn't come up with a better slogan than "Tastes Evil, But Isn't"? There is NO REASON ON EARTH THAT ANYONE SHOULD BE TEMPTED TO BUY THIS. Unless of course, you're a demon, devil, or zombie. Even vampires, trolls, werewolves and rabid dogs have better taste.

This proves to me two things:

1- Even with an MBA, there's no guarantee that you have a clue.
2-There are some really bad writers out there.

Now for the positive spin:
Neither my family nor I will ever have to eat this 'evil-tasting' stuff.

Hopefully you won't either!

Char

29 And Counting...

2012-01-30T11:32:00.000-08:00

I'm taking the challenge--I'm going to blog everyday in February. It's a leap year so I will have 29, that's only 1 less than an average month, so no hassles!

I will try to be entertaining, provocative and interesting, but I make no promises. (There are going to be days when I just don't feel motivated, or are rushed, or am grumpy.) Bear with me. Don't judge. Have fun. I'll even throw in some contests. So spread the word.

See ya on the first!

Char

Off The Grid

2012-01-23T11:17:00.000-08:00

I'm going to go off the PC and SC grid here (Politically Correct and Spouse-ly Correct).

The hubby decided that when he switched jobs, he would shred all the paperwork- office memos and reports, benefit notifications, correspondence, etc., that he no longer needs.

Some may argue, yay, he's clearing up a mess. And put a smiley face, like this :)

Now ask:
Why didn't he do it once a month?
Once a year?
Once every 5 years?
Once a DECADE?

I kid you not. Bags and bags of papers (mixed in with family photos, funeral cards, pens, alligator clips, household bills, newspaper ads, business cards from people long gone to other jobs, gas, grocery, pharmacy, Home Depot, ALL KINDS of receipts, and so much more). It boggles the mind.

At least he's finally doing it, you say in that trying-to-remain-positive voice (and knowing it's only going to get worse).

Because he decides to do it on the rug in the TV room so he can watch the game. NOT in the basement (which has a big TV!) and which has a tile floor that can be easily swept.

Of course the shreds are ALL OVER the damn place. And he leaves it for me. I pick most of it up, because that much will clog the vacuum.

Which it does.

No matter what I do, I can't get it unclogged. So I have to drag down the upstairs vacuum.

Which brings me to the stupid (WARNING: NON-PC Rant coming!) dumb-ass design- probably by a MALE engineer; the hose has a bend in it, so you can't see where the clog is, never mind get it out. So now the over-priced replacement hose ($170+ what a scam!!) is on it's way. How stupid and dumb-ass a lot of appliances are.

Like my dishwasher (Electronic panel right UNDERNEATH the steam vent? Really? Common sense 101- steam condenses to water, which drips- down into the electronics panel and shorts it out.) So I only have one setting on my dishwasher- the 2 HOUR one. Seriously Maytag, I have problems WITH ALL YOUR APPLIANCES. What kind of idiots do you hire?

In keeping with my New Year's resolution, I will find something positive to say: the appliances are shiny. And they're going to break down quick enough for me to get new ones, better ones, and I will be happy in my kitchen again! Two out of the three waste bags are gone. The family room is clean again. :) See? Positive spin.

Back to the hubby. And the paper mess yet to come (bag three is the BIGGEST; a Hefty lawn-leaf bag). It may come down to this for him:

Or this for me:

The hard part will be trying to decide which has more appeal.

So What's The Big Idea?

2012-01-16T13:01:00.000-08:00

Do you know what swag is? (I know, dumb name, but we didn't make it up.) It's all the fun stuff authors give away to promote their books; bookmarks are the most common, but there are buttons, pins, notepads, candy, and so much more. Some authors from the big publishing houses get to giveaway tee shirts, iPad skins, gift cards, one even gave away a box with clues to solve a puzzle.

Being pubbed by a small house means you have to do all that on your own.

And on your own money.

So we had to be creative with ideas and finances. If you know us, or attended a signing or conference (or maybe even met us by chance) you probably got some swag. Here's a picture of what we offered:

(Note: missing kitty cat key/phone charms in pink and black. They went fast!)

Now that Sirenz Back In Fashion is coming out, we need to start the process for this sequel. In one way, it's exciting: new book, new characters, more Hades, outrageous situations, whole new color scheme. The creative juices are flooding our brains faster than the Raritan River can drown Manville and Green Brook (that's pretty fast if you know NJ).

But here's the problem: most authors tend to use the same old things- bookmarks, pins, yada yada. I want something unique. And I'm willing to bribe you to do some brainstorming for me. You tell me your idea for a great swag item and I will send you 3 (yes, THREE) books from the list at the bottom of this post, your choice. Now here are the rules:

1. Must be cost effective. We cannot give a gold coin to hundreds of people. (Yes, that's a clue- gold coins figure in the book.) And I'm already doing a chocolate gold coin, so don't think you're going to submit that. The chocolate red shoes were a hit and cost effective over large numbers.

2. Must be easy. While Nat and & are pretty creative craft wise (she knits, I crochet, we color nice pictures, etc.) we are no Da Vincis. We don't want anything that can be mucked up. If it's something a company can do for us without having to sell our children to the gypsies, thumbs up. (Next clue: there's a music/concert/dance element, but please nothing with copyright infringement problems so forget anything Glee, American Idol, etc.)

3. Must be fun! Nobody wants boring stuff- school pencils will end up at the bottom of the junk drawer, used for grocery lists and that's about it. Whatever you suggest can be practical, but must be pretty/fun/unusual to put a smile on recipient's face. We're all about the FUN element. (Next clue: forget the feathers, but something's fishy....)

4. Must be available in time. You might have the cutest idea, but if it's going to take six months to put it all together, have it made, shipped and received, well, that doesn't help. (Last clue: Sirenz = shoe, Sirenz 2 = fuzzy vest.)

This swag has been done: chocolate (in any form), bookmarks, pins, Hades' business card (people STILL talk about that, they love it), feathers, pretty organza bags, key bobs (unless it's really cool).

So let's see what you come up with. Here's the list of books the winner may choose three (3) of:

Skyship Academy with signed card from Nick James
The Trouble With Half A Moon (MG) by Danette Vigilante
Exposed by Kimberly Marcus
Wither by Lauren DeStefano
Beauty Queens by Libba Bray
Angel Star by Jennifer Murgia
Bloodspell by Amalie Howard, signed
Shade by Jeri Smith-Ready
Gimme A Call by Sarah Mlynowski

One last clue; if you check out www.thesirenz.com you can find more hints about the book.

Char

As We Dream By The Fire....

2012-01-10T11:55:00.000-08:00

This is what the hubby and I bought each other for Christmas--a gas fireplace. No holiday ties you wear once a year, no more jewelry I don't have any more fingers, toes and arms to wear, no vacations to places we're too busy to get to.

When you think about it, it's kind of a romantic, practical, good investment gift.

It will be romantic to sit by the fire with our wine, talking over the day's events.

(Or watch the hubby snore on a different couch, this one in front of the fireplace instead of the big screen TV).

It's practical because when we lost power for five miserable days, I was forced to go to the mall to keep warm. (Which got expensive, all that shopping.) This baby warms up quite a bit of the old cabin, and we can all snuggle down in the living room to sleep if the electricity goes off.

(We just have to fight over who gets to sleep on the couches, and who gets stuck on the hardwood floors.)

It's a good investment because people love a fireplace, especially one that doesn't require: being friends with Paul Bunyon for wood, a gazillion trips in and out stocking up firewood, vacuuming up all the chips, dirt, bugs (eek) and ashes, and repainting every year to get the smokey haze off all your white ceilings and colored walls, and off your furniture, carpet and drapes.

(Why were we the only *(&%! house on the block NOT to have a fireplace?? EVERYONE has one.)

Plus there is the humorous aspect. Son, now 12, was singing about the fireplace. (tune: Winter Wonderland) "...Later on, milk will expire, as we dream by the fire..." Don't ask me where the heck he got 'milk will expire' from "we'll conspire."

And it'll be nice to curl up by the fire with a good book.

Resolutely Yours

2012-01-02T19:27:00.000-08:00

It's after New Year's Day--and I pondered a bit about what to write. Yes, I've made the obligatory resolutions.

But this year will be slightly different. I'm not resolving to lose weight, give up smoking, exercise more. My resolutions (yes, plural) are what I'm promising to do for YOU.

In 2012, I resolve to:

1. Give positive feedback as much as I honestly can, whether it's someone's book, haircut, screw-up or opinion.

2. Obey the rules. I will drive safer, even if it's just down the road to the grocery store.

3. Let you go. If our relationship, whether it's as friends, acquaintances, fellow author or even family member, is toxic to either of us, we'll part, hopefully amicably as possible.

4. Promote the good. I'll talk up other books, libraries, volunteering, worthy charities, anything that brings awareness to a good thing.

5. Not discuss politics. Nothing good ever comes of discussing this subject and as we draw closer to the election and tensions run higher, I'll just leave it alone.

I think that's enough. I only have so much resolve, and there's a few things I resolve to do for myself, but I won't bore you with them.

I wish you all a healthy, happy, successful, peaceful and wonderful 2012!

Char

12 Things I Hate About Christmas

2011-12-19T18:12:00.000-08:00

I'm no Scrooge--(even if I wear Grinch socks) but admit it, there are things that make people crazy about the holidays no mater what you celebrate. So here's my list:

1) The "Christmas is so commercial!" whine. Let me clue you in on something: we live in a commercial world. People, and companies, will make a buck off anything or anyone they can. We buy bumper stickers that say "9/11- Never Forget." Does that make it any less profound and touching because someone sold it to you? I don't buy glow-in-the-dark Madonnas from St. Patrick's cathedral in NYC or send money to TV preachers who beg because I think it's tacky, tasteless, and self-serving--but I don't let it ruin the meaning of the religion behind it. Christmas is only commercial if YOU let it be.

2) Naked houses. Driving down streets at night, homes are a-glow with twinkling lights. Visit those same homes during the day and you'll be lucky if there's a wreath on the door. Let's consider daytime visual interest people; I need some greenery, ribbons and festive decorations.

3) Fruitcake. Hate it, won't eat it, don't bring it.

4) Stupid lawn blow-ups. I mean really, you plop this polyester bag on the lawn, plug it in, and a fan inflates it. It's a lazy way to decorate and during the day when the power's off, it looks like a mess. And Santa in an RV? Crass.

5) The Mall. Me, a woman, hate the mall?? It's overcrowded, stifling hot, overpriced, and filled with people at their greediest and nastiest (and don't even get me started on the parking wars).

6) Bad Christmas songs. Madonna singing Santa Baby (a song about selfish greed using sex) seems to be specifically made for the material girl, but that doesn't mean it's a song for the holidays. Sure, I joke around with the hubby and kids about wanting a deed to a platinum mine but it's more to make fun of the song. And treasured songs of old do not translate well into rap, heavy metal or disco, no matter who the artist is. At least once during the year, absorb some classical or traditional music so your soul doesn't starve for something cultural.

7) Christmas Decorations Before Halloween. Can I enjoy the two holidays between labor Day and Christmas? I love Halloween and Thanksgiving. Don't rush me.

8) Offensive Movies That Scare Children Who See Them. Movies like that one about a serial killer dressed as Santa; I think it was Silent Night, Deadly Night. Some people are really sick; to make such a revolting movie, your mother must be so disappointed.

9) Cheapskates. People will think nothing of dropping bucks on ridiculous junk like fake nails, jeans with more holes than fabric or antler hats for the dog (call the ASPCA), yet they walk by the Salvation Army kettle without putting at least some change in it. What if people passed you by when you were hungry, homeless, lost all your clothes in a fire or flood, or needed some emergency assistance?

10) Thieves. They're bad enough during the year but to target people through charitable scams is so low a snake would slap you. I think Dante needs to update his Inferno to include a circle in Hell for scum, because those people qualify.

11) Not Saying Merry Christmas When It's Obvious I Believe In It. Hint: I'm buying something Christmasy, like a personalized ornament, or a Jerry Garcia Christmas tie, or I have Christmas wrapping paper in my bag. See a theme here? I CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS. Don't say "Happy Holidays." Need another hint? I'm wearing a (God forbid!) Christmas sweater, a nativity pin or jingle bell earrings. Don't make me pull out the musical Christmas pen.

12) People Who Whine 'I Can't Wait Till The Holidays Are Over.' Well obviously you're stressed about getting everything on the list done. If you're hosting Christmas dinner for the always-fighting in-laws, then stop hosting. Why continue to do something year after year that makes you miserable? Make changes! Unless of course you're like those people who have dental work done without novocaine (because you need to maintain absolute control). Then don't complain if it hurts! If you want to let your holiday be ruined, it's your choice. I just don't understand why anyone would. Don't burst my holiday happy bubble with complaints.

So there you have it. I have a few others, like people who say the religious aspect is gone (ahem, when was the last time you attended church? Donated time to a cause?). And stop bitching because for one day the movie theater or your favorite restaurant are closed and you're bored. Read a book. Sleep late. Have a party. Volunteer at a soup kitchen so Christians can celebrate.

And the list goes on, but you get the idea. Let's all try to have peace within, and amongst, ourselves--at least for one day.

Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
Happy Chanukah!

And the Winner Is.....

2011-12-13T19:18:00.000-08:00

My very first giveaway!

The Cup of Destiny has spoken!

(Actually the cup didn't do anything. I put all the names in and mixed them up. One son made the cup, the other chose the name.)

And it goes to....

Love Between Pages!

*Claps, jumps up like 2 year old, squeals like 4 year old.*

So, which book do you want? I'll even give you the choice of Sirenz, signed, if you wish. But feel free to pick any one book: Watersmeet, signed by Ellen Jensen Abbott, Angel Star by Jennifer Murgia, Beauty Queens by Libba Bray, Gimme a Call by Sarah Mlynowski, or Jeri Smith-Ready's Shade. And, I will ask those author buds if they will include signed bookmarks for each of their books. So I need your addy- you want to get it before Christmas, right?

Congrats, and peeps, keep reading and checking in- I'll be giving away more stuffies.

Char

A Word From The Wise

2011-11-19T17:50:00.000-08:00

There are just some people who take FAN to a rocking level. I'm not talking about those 'moms' who have scenes from a certain book tattooed on their body (By the way moms, that's scary and creepy, and doesn't leave much room for other books you may fall in love with. And what do your husbands think?)

I'm losing the thought train here.

Superhero co-author Natalie Zaman and I, along with a host of other authors, were invited to "Unmask the Writer Within;" book signing, author workshops, lunch and Halloween party in Johnstown, New York. Hard times and that freaky snowstorm probably kept away some people, but we all had a great time, made new friends and talked books.

And then Melissa Marie, the darling of Mysteries on Main Street Book Store, gave one of these to each of us:

It's Sirenz, done through a series of photos of signs, objects, window bars, wrought iron, etc. in a lovely black frame.

It was my first gift from a fan. I was so touched and thrilled and astonished and speechless (really, me? right?). I've re-arranged my home office so I can be thankful for it, be inspired by it, and be humbled by it. By no means am I encouraging all fans to send such thoughtful, beloved, delightful gifts (while nice, I'd surely run out of room). Cheerful emails, blog comments, a chat at a book signing, a little note on FB mean so much to authors, especially those that are not in the spotlight, that are on a tight publicity budget, that don't fit the current trend (yes, I have no vampires, werewolves, zombies or steam-powered devices. Do have a witch though...) Sometimes we non-famous authors feel neglected, forgotten, overlooked. It takes so much advertising, going to book signings, blogging, interviewing, guest posting, and networking to steal a bit of attention. Nat and I have no famous relations, no connections in show biz or the literary world to ease our path; we're two moms from New Jersey who love to write and just want to share our books with as many people as we can.

It takes a simple reminder; a picture of 6 letters but a universe of meaning, to refresh our memories of why we write; because we love it. Sirenz was no labor; hard work at times, but the fun and laughter Nat & I shared will continue as the series progresses, come what may. So thank you, Melissa Marie, and your wonderful mother (who did the eye-catching photos) for such a priceless gift; appreciation for our work.

YOU get the first copy of Sirenz, Back In Fashion.

How The Mighty Have Fallen...

2011-11-15T14:24:00.001-08:00

Okay, I'm not mighty in any sense of the word, but just go with me.

I'm sick--flu, cold, bug, whatever.

My nose is stuffed, my sinuses hurt, my throat is sore throat enough that I want to stamp my feet and scream. So I've fallen out of my routine. House needs to be vacuumed, novel isn't getting finished, errands aren't being run. Now I could excuse myself that I shouldn't spread germs to the public at large, and that's a valid reason for not grocery shopping (maybe I picked this bug up from a grocery cart? ewwww; motivation to shop with your gloves on.), going to the robotics meeting (and leaving my germs on high science desks), and lunch with my writing gal pals (talk about torture!). But neither the dirty rug nor the blank pages care that I feel so lethargic it's a task to get another drink for my burning throat.

There are times we all fall short of expectations. A friend texted me saying "Cheer up! The holidays are coming and you have so much to do!" First of all, reminding me how much I have to do is NOT the way to cheer me up. Second, I'm not depressed, I'm just sick. The holidays are far enough away (even Thanksgiving, the Forgotten Holiday) that I don't need to worry about it; I'm more worried about making my book signings on Thursday in NYC at Books of Wonder (18 W 18th Street, 6-8) and Friday in PA (Children's Book World, East Main Street, Haverford, 7-9). If I can get past them, then I'll be able to get back on track...

Except my firstborn, away at college since August, is coming home on Friday (no doubt with laundry and demands). And I'm helping out the kids' bell choir on Sunday morning. Monday might see the plumber coming to install the new gas fireplace and then there's the regular fencing practice, SAT tutoring, and writing group rescheduled meeting in addition to getting ready for Thanksgiving.

There's always an excuse to put off things that need, must, should, ought to get done. So, I've had my two days of bed rest (almost- I did do laundry, some dishes, straightening up, checking of emails, media posting, yelling at offspring for garbage, recycle and homework; I am not a total slug.). Tonight, I'll start clearing up all those things that are backlogged and get back into the grind, er, routine.

My blog entry is done for the week; that's one thing off the list.

Char

Cover Up!

2011-11-07T08:36:00.000-08:00

There's a lot of talk about book covers. What's hot, what's been overdone, what doesn't work, and so on. Some covers are iconic and recognizable without a single word: a cross and people know it's the Bible. A golden colored bear with a red vest is obviously Winnie the Pooh. And yes, the hands holding the apple on a black background is Twilight.

Have you seen our cover? If not, I'll cry, but let me help you out, here it is:

But that's not the way it looked initially: it looked like this:

Why the change? While we loved the first cover, it was too dark for our humorous book. And we were told that teens didn't like it, hence the second, lighter cover. Which do you like better?

And now, the release of the cover for Sirenz Back in Fashion.

There are two emotions about this change. One is that this is a good thing: it will freshen up the look, maybe increasing sales beyond estimations by drawing in new readers. It's lighter and gives a hint about what's inside; a story with two very different girls, a Greek aspect, and fun. The other is that it won't match the first one and since this is a series, the first fans won't recognize the sequel.

The editor and publisher design the cover and while we're asked what we think would look good, the decision is theirs. That's the industry. I look at it this way: at least there is a second book, the Canadian artist (I will insert her name here, I have to dig through emails to find it) did a beautiful job, and there was a lot of thought put into it. Right now there is a controversy because a number of book covers are finding that their cover model (and sometimes the same dress and pose) was used for another book, making them both so similar, it will confuse readers which book they were looking for. That's a marketing nightmare--like telling which one is the clone, which is the original. We don't have that problem, for which I am immensely grateful.

No matter what, that's our cover and we're sticking with it.

Char

Follow The Yellow Brick Road...

2011-11-07T08:14:00.000-08:00

Well, not really. But follow me over to my new blog, www.charlotteebennardo.blogspot.com. (Note the extra 'e' between Charlotte and Bennardo. Yes, it's my middle initial, no, I will not tell you. And it's NOT Esmerelda, no matter what the hubby says.)

Had trouble with this blog, abandoned it, started new one, and that's where the action is, so come on over (especially Anne from the Christmas ornament store, but everyone else too!)

Let's talk!

Char

Good Tidings of Karma

2011-11-07T08:05:00.000-08:00

I was scrolling through the notifications on my smart phone and finally realized that I had comments from the other blog (charlottebennardo.blogspot.com, which I don't use anymore because of ISSUES. That's why I'm here.) I'm not ignoring anyone, I'm just technologically impaired.

What was interesting was a comment from Anne. Time travel backward about a year ago. Nat & I are Christmas shopping, excited about Sirenz coming out in just under six months. We're giddy, giggly and definitely doing the girly thing- we're at the mall. I drag her into an ornament store, you know the ones: they're there from right after Halloween until the day after Christmas and have hundreds, maybe thousands of ornaments that can be personalized. Right away, we felt the 'good Karma' because the first ornament we see is a Starbucks coffee cup (looked Venti sized to me--perfect!) with the name "Meg." In Sirenz, Meg and Shar are always drinking hot caffeinated libations. The next ornament that caught my eye was a diamond engagement ring in a Tiffany blue box. What did Hades give Shar? (This will come back to haunt her in Sirenz Back in Fashion...) We found a number of ornaments that fit into Sirenz. So of course I bought a lot of them. My tree is going to fall over under the staggering weight.

Fast forward to a few months ago, and Anne, the saleswoman from the ornament store, comments under the first blog, What Dreams May Come. She remembered us and our book, and was so excited to see the book debut. She hopes we'll find her again and say hello.

Well how mystical is that? A lot of people must come in and tell their Christmas story about what a certain ornament means to them, but she remembered us? It's enough to make you cry with joy. Anne, I hope you find my new blog and say hello here (I will try to find you on the other one and bring you over, but me + technology = nightmares. Look for the debut of our website, www.thesirenz.com). Nat and I will be back--to say hello, thank you for remembering us, bring you some swag, and yes, buy more ornaments. After all, there are 3, maybe 4 books in the series.

And to Katia, I'm not forgetting you! Your comment on my post, I'm Not Laughing about loving the humor of Sirenz and agreeing with my lament that we need more humor in our oft-times depressing society put a smile on my face. We will definitely continue the humor in the rest of the books, so stay tuned for more laughs!

Keep the comments coming, I will get to them. Know that I am reading them and look forward to hearing from my readers (and you don't have to agree!). Sometimes it takes me awhile to remember all the intricacies of blogging and building websites and everything technological, but I will get there!

Char

A Cold Day In.... New Jersey

2011-11-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

This blog is late--but it's not my fault! (You'll see!) Natalie and I went to Johnstown, NY, to do an "Unmask The Writer Within" event (thank you Melissa, Patty, and Mysteries On Main Street for organizing! And all the fabby authors there, kisses!). There was a warning of snow, 2-4", but armed with winter coat, gloves, boots, trusty GPS, and new all-weather tires, Natalie and I went and had fun, signed books, and made friends. Even though my car collected three inches of snow, the roads were merely wet. As we headed back to our bed & breakfast where we stayed-more on that later-we saw dry roads and no snow.

Snowstorm my foot!

While in New Jersey... Wham! Bam! Crack! The Nor'easter brought an ice storm. No power, heat, phone, internet, TV, refrigerator, computer-basically we were no better off than the early colonists. Luckily, having city water meant at least flushable toilets and ice-cold showers. I may never be warm again. No school for my sixth grader but thankfully the high schooler had classes, even if with a late opening. I was forced to eat donuts for breakfast.

I guess I could have sat in Starbucks, enjoyed a Chai latte Venti, and posted from there on my laptop (and warmed up) but with civilization as I know it suspended, I had to worry about procuring food, showers, clean clothes, and still give out treats, get one son to SAT prep course and the other to fencing and Trick-or-Treating.

It was the Halloween from Hell. Thanksgiving will be dedicated to being warm, fed, and a part of civilization.

Char

A Revision of the Reviewer's Reviews. Uh, huh?

2011-10-24T07:33:00.000-07:00

Previously I said I wouldn't do book reviews because of that whole 'I-can't-give-everyone-a-5-star-review-because-no-one-will-take-me-seriously' and 'the-publishing-community-is-small' thing. (Boy who cried wolf and dog doesn't poop in his space kind of deal.)

So, being almost brilliant, I've decided to feature books (two at a time because I like some pressure & tend to take on a lot more than I should), one published years ago and one relatively recently. I'll tell you what worked; what one element or device stood out. Even bad books can have some redeeming quality- I think porn and violent-content publishers use that argument to get past decency standards. But I'm not saying any of these books are bad; some will be great, some will be meh and some I will hate- but I won't tell you. No ratings, just one thing I liked about it.

The Lord of the Rings. It does happen to be my all time favorite book, and I've said so on interviews and such so this is not a deal breaker. It's probably the only time I tell you it's my fave book (other than my own!). The best element of this book (keeping the trilogy together)- is the world building. From descriptions of the inhabitants of Middle Earth (elves, orcs, ents, etc.) to the magic (palantiri, glowing swords, Light of Galadriel) to the rich language (poetry, elvish script, Rhohirrim etymology), Tolkien was the grand master. He incorporated good vs. evil, romance, war, murder and salvation, hope and tragedy, heroes and the lost, humor and darkness. The only things missing (but not missed) are sex, foul language, and teen angst. Like many, I consider Tolkien to be a literary genius. Wish I'd been able to read LOTR instead of some of the boring, dense, so-called 'classics' (D.H. Lawrence comes to mind...) I was forced to read.

The next book with a great device is Alissa Grosso's Popular. It seems like a 'popular-girls-are-so-mean' story, but it employs one of my favorite devices: the unexpected twist. I love surprises! And Alissa made me gasp! (Sorry, not going to spoil it, go read the book.) There's nothing that's more detestable than being able to correctly guess a book. Okay, we all know how any story about the Titanic is going to end- but it's like that for stories about recorded human and natural events; we know how the main thread is going to shake out so the other elements must do extra duty to keep us interested. Two thirds through her book, Alissa threw a curve ball--right over home plate and I never saw it!

So, no stars or smiley faces or thumbs up; just something I liked about two books.

Word Up!

2011-10-04T09:22:00.000-07:00

I was slacking off, watching TV and one of those infernal commercials came on; a couple are painting a room, they touch hands, and the background dissolves into a panoramic forest vista with a bed or tub. Yeah, a Viagra commercial. For... ahem... a malfunction. My son giggles- "It's dysfunction," he informs me. Dysfunction, misfunction, malfunction; what's the diff? According to Webster's Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary, circa 1983 (one of those big jabonies that weighs a gazillion tons which I refuse to give up because the online and Microsoft dictionaries are seriously lacking):

Dysfunction: n. Med., malfunctioning, as of a structure of the body.

It appears dysfunction and malfunction maybe the same thing. That's common in English, multiple words meaning the same thing (think Thesaurus).

Malfunction: n. failure to function properly: v.i. to fail to function properly. Same definition, but it looks like dysfunction applies strictly to medical issues. Okay, the body can have a dysfunction, while the car can have either (noun) a malfunction of the engine, or, (verb) the engine malfunctioned.

Misfunction / Disfunction Uh, no such words. At least as of 1983. And having made Webster's my literary lord and master, I will never use these two words. Ever. And neither should you. We have enough clutter, slang, anachronisms, abbreviations, made-up, ill-, improperly or inappropriately used words in our language. So don't. It really annoys me. And you do not want me to hear you use the word 'irregardless.' (I will need a sedative or other serious chemicals to rein in my outrage.)

At least I know the makers of Viagra are using proper English. Hopefully Johnson & Johnson (my maiden name is Johnson, but no relation. Darn, could really use the fame and money), will take note and forever eradicate their slogan "It don't ouch me" on their bandage commercials. [Kindly note that I did not say 'Bandaid' which is a registered trademark of Johnson & Johnson. If I can observe the proprieties, so can they.]

So my knowledge of dys- vs. mal- function has been refreshed, and two plausible but non-existent words abolished from my memory. Now if only I could obliterate all those 'dysfunction' commercials.

Critical Mass

2011-09-22T08:34:00.000-07:00

When Nat & I first started on this journey with Sirenz, we were told to do Facebook (we do- even have a page for Sirenz), and Twitter (we do- @natalie_zaman and @charbennardo) and blogs (we do- natalizezamanblogspot.com and well, you're here). I've already touched on just doing writerly posts, which would bore the non-writers vs writing about any random thought, which Writer's Digest warned against doing because it doesn't give off a serious writing dedication vibe. Our editor said we should talk about our book (gotta sell it!) which we do occasionally, interviews with other writers (hmm, haven't done that yet) and reviews.

Reviews. Of other people's books. That presents a problem.

It's not like I have a problem giving my opinion. (Stop snickering those who know me!) That's never been a problem.

It's not like I don't read (Overflowing bookshelves, serious book expenses.) I'd rather read than watch American Idol, Glee, or the host of other really dumb TV shows.

The problems is: what if I don't like the book? Not everyone loves Sirenz (dramatic pause while I wait for mass denial, 'That's not true! We ALL love Sirenz!' Ok, not happening.). BIG SECRET HERE: I do not love every book I read.

When you're done gasping, there's more: there are some bestsellers that I've scratched my head and said "What's the fuss?" I won't mention them by name and this is where it gets sticky. I'm open to honest reviews- Sirenz has some 4 & 5 star reviews, and yet VOYA hated us with a passion that clearly was frightening. One blogger dropped the F-bomb so many times I check my mail for powdery substances. But I don't rave and rant or cry (not that you see anyway). This is the land of the free- and if you want to say something, say it. Doesn't say anywhere that I have to agree. But free speech comes with a caveat; you become known by your words. I do NOT want to be the 'author who hates [Book Title]!' Some people love Twilight and can't understand those who do not. Others loathe the book and make fun of those who live their lives by Team Jacob or Team Edward. (My friend Yvonne is snickering right now because almost every conversation has a Twilight mention.) Criticizing or praising a book puts you into a nay or yay camp.

I never went to camp, so it's too late now to join one. I read books, and if we're talking face to face, I tell you what I liked about them. If other people in the conversation bash the book, then I feel free to say what disappointed me. I will not do a written review because words can bite you in the butt (yes, I've learned that the hard way). Plus, a lot of books I'm reading now are by people who've become my friends. Writing is a hard enough job; rejections by editors, critiques for you to change your work, efforts to market your book, and a host of so many other burdens that only authors know exist. I do not want to add to the already arduous task.

So, no reviews. I can definitively say however, that there is something I like in every book; maybe it's one character, a scene, or just the cover. You'll just have to sample the book and make up your own mind without my guidance. Enough said.

A Change of Seasons

2011-09-12T18:18:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's that time. Fall.

Every year, I hate it.

Why?

So many reasons; one, I have to close my pool. Not being a member of the polar bear club, I don't swim when it's cold. Brrrrr! I don't even like it when the day is cooler than 85 degrees. (I know you've heard me say this.) I'm a summer gal and I don't tolerate cold well. Maybe because my blood pressure is really low 90 over 60, with a low pulse). I think I'm half dead. My blood moves s o o s l o w l y. My feet, hands, nose, ears, and face are always cold. Plus, having had some broken bones and corrective surgeries (don't get me started on THAT sob story) the cold makes bones and joints hurt. So when it gets cold, I really have to bundle up. And skiing or playing with the kids? I look like the Michelin Man I'm so puffed from all the layers. The pool closed up is a visual smack in the face that soon I will be frozen all the time.

Next, I have to pack up my shorts, tanks, flipflops, and bathing suits. And then drag out the sweaters, long pants, gloves, hats, and thermal underwear (hey, you ever sit at Homecoming Weekend watching lousy football and our award winning, nationally ranked marching band in October or November? Baby it's freaking freezing!) And while I love fuzzy socks (oooh, nice!) I like walking around bare footed and wearing as little as legally, ethically, morally, practically, physically and parentall allowed. Fall says to me, "You'll be bundled up and you'll STILL be cold."

Naked trees. While the falling colored leaves are so pretty, once they're gone everything's gray and drab and dead-looking. The rain doesn't make a soothing patter on the leaves, calling to you to sit under a porch while it lulls you into a sense of peace, or daring you to run and splash indecently in rolling rivers in street gutters. All you see are bare, skinny branches waving with menace when the winds start to howl.

And that's another thing- the wind doesn't howl in the spring or summer, but it does in the fall and winter, when daylight dies quicker, leaving you to trudge through the eerie darkness, seeing eyes in the black of woods (even if it's only on the side of your driveway). The wind sends prickles of cold up your sleeves, in your nose, through your jeans (and yet another practical reason not to wear those STUPID jeans that cost you a fortune but are all chewed and ripped up. Duh.) A summer breeze of delight has turned cruel and insidious, lurking in bare woods, circling the house, waiting to attack.

The deathly silence. Where is the symphony of crickets? It's replaced by the hoot of a mournful owl, giving last rites to some poor creature. All sounds of life have been sequestered deep underground, or have flown away till the Earth changes its attitude and comes round again for spring. In fall, the imaginings of the mind make the heart pound in our ears like bombs, terror twisting up the volume of the blood screeching through our veins; was that a cracking branch? Is someone following me? Is there an ANIMAL or MONSTER waiting to pounce? Crickets would warn me...

The death of fireflies. There is no aspect of childhood summers I adore more than fields of dark shrouded trees and grass festooned with the twinkle of fireflies gaily playing a tag of life and love. In fall, they are gone, leaving an unbroken void. The loss of light is added to the loss of warmth, color and sound.

My favorite ice cream place closes down. Sure the grocery store has lots of flavors. But not even Ben & Jerry's, or the Cold Stone Creamery can compare with Polar Cub's mega huge waffle cone of black raspberry ice cream with chocolate cookie crumbs. It's not just the ice cream, it's the experience of sitting on a picnic table, trying to catch all the drips before they land on my bare legs; it's the little chats with my sons over everything and nothing, giggling, being silly, (laughing when kids wear more than they eat), and just enjoying the moment.

Then there are the things only summer can bring: Fourth of July fireworks, the balloon festival, Classic Car night in downtown Somerville, spontaneous barbecues with our neighbors the Burgermeisters (for real) and the Orlandos, late nights and too many beers in our pool bar with friends, and beaches, amusement parks, water slides... I could just go on.

And you want me to be glad to give all that up for ugly naked trees, shivering from the cold, scratchy wool (hey, I can't afford ALL cashmere), clumpy shoes, short days and long nights, and being forced to cloister in my home?

All that just for eating hot apple pie made from crisp apples, carving goofy faces on pumpkins, feeling cashmere against my skin, having a blush on my cheeks from the wind, and enjoying bonfires in the backyard while we make s'mores with friends?

Sorry. I miss summer.

Conundrums, Quandries and Puzzles

2011-08-24T21:07:00.000-07:00

There are rules for everything; driving, eating, behaving, even blogging. Writer's Digest featured an article about blogging and one of the tips they gave is that if you're a writer, you blog about writing. Seems straightforward enough. I'm a writer, I can do that.

When Sirenz was pubbed, we were advised by our editor and others in the business to have a blog. We did, Okay, things were going well.

Then we were told not to harp on our book or just writing because we could alienate people who may like to read, but don't want to hear about writing.

So now what do I do? Listen the the bible of writing, which has given me so much wonderful, applicable and honest advice, or listen to people in the publishing world, in contact with literally, thousands.

What a conundrum.

I think the answer is... both. Because life is never black and white (unless it's one of those half black, half white cookies). When I have a topic on writing, I'll post on that. Sorry friends who aren't interested in writing, the publishing world, and all things related, but I am a writer after all. It's my passion, my driving force. If you know me, you know this (because I bore you talking about books, writing, my projects). This will make Writer's Digest happy that I've read and used their advice.

But even I run out of 'writerly' stuff. Or get bored with it. Or have a rant (I've done several of those) that I need to get out. This occasional little digression keeps things lively, placates those who don't want anything to do with writing, or entertains the casual peruser. Those who don't know me will get to know me a little better through these types of posts. Anyone who is acquainted with me will snort and say yeah, typical Charlotte.

So, you won't always see writing tidbits, or whining complaints, or amusing musings. Blogging, like life, has rules and sometimes those rules don't fit. Don't speed is a rule- but when you're ready to have that baby, cops will overlook and even assist you in speeding. You should wait half an hour after eating before swimming- experts now say that isn't necessary. Never use incomplete sentences. Huh. See? Three rules amended, thrown out, or ignored.

So quandry solved. Rules aren't absolute. Let's hope the police officer buys that if I get pulled over.

I'm Not Laughing

2011-08-17T07:30:00.000-07:00

On the news today: murder plot on FaceBook by 19 year old single mom, rapper murdered and body torched in New Jersey, Democrats and Republicans continue name calling, U.S. economy sinking further into debt... and that's just in America, out in the world it's even WORSE. This is a perfect time for a little humor to lighten our depressed moods, help us see that life can be good, and to re-energize us for the work to be done.

But too many people don't take humor seriously.

The world is obsessed with End of The World (dystopian) and worst case "What If..." scenarios like massive hunger, plague, apocalypses, zombies. And then we (and I have my moments too) get caught up in books and movies about lost love, losing love, dying love, bad love, not enough love. It seems we are determined to wallow in despair.

What's wrong with a good laugh? I'll admit sales for our book Sirenz are a little slow and that's part of what prompted this post. Another nudge was a really vicious, uncalled for and way too personal review by someone who seems to have a vested interested in eviscerating us from afar and from behind. Whoa! I understand humor is subjective and not everyone's going to find Sirenz funny. Heck, I can sit through David Letterman, Conan, and a lot of other comedian routines and not even crack a smile. Don't remember if I ever thought the Three Stooges were funny. A lot of cartoons I shake my head at and wonder how my 11 year old can giggle but that may have to do with age more than anything (Drake & Josh and iCarly are funny so I can relate somewhat.). People who write, paint, sing, act or put creative works out there realize that we are going to have our critics (sniff!) but that's okay, we're playing to the audience who will love us.

If you look at humorous authors like Libba Bray, Meg Cabot, Allie Carter, Sarah Mlynowski, John Greene (Disclaimer: I haven't read all their works) reviewers say how funny and enjoyable the reads were (we got lots of 'I thought this was so funny!' reviews and Katelyn at www.katelynsblog.blogspot.com [I think that's how to tag it] said she'd like to invite Nat and me to an 'Author Block Party' because we're goofballs) but then they gush over the fearful, wrenching, scary, depressing books more. Even the American Library Association, which rates the top books for young adults (YA for those not in the pub business) doesn't have a separate category for humor. They have adventure, forbidden romance, geek and bullying but no humor? Geez, I'd think since the world is in such a freaking mess and not likely to get any better in the foreseeable future that they would have a comedic designation as a public mental health service.

Let me ask: when you get together with your friends and family, do you sit around and get depressed? (Well, maybe, but that's not the intent.) Don't you invite the neighbors over for a cold one and laugh over stupid stuff someone's doing? (If you have lousy neighbors I guess not, but you have friends, right?.) Do you meet up with Phi Mu sorority sisters to contemplate the downfall of society? (It'll happen eventually, history has proven this, stop thinking about it.) Would you go to a bar, restaurant, water park, or show looking to be reflective and moody? (If so, you may have deeper problems than you realize.) No-you go to have FUN.

Someone once said (okay, it was my aunt) that I should have been a stand up comedian. I can't imagine trying to be funny every night for years, it's hard enough doing it for 280 pages. And that's the point- comedy is hard work; can YOU be consistently funny? Nat and I try our schtick on each other (but really, she's a pushover) and then refine, rework, remove or rethink the humor of the Sirenz books. It would be way easier to wax morosely on a serious subject. So don't dismiss humor as 'fluff', not literary and worst of all, NOT WORTHY. (I mean seriously, a lot of the Nobel Prizes are soooo full of despair, angst, pain and suffering I don't know how the writers aren't on anti-depressants or maybe they are...).

Enjoy a fun read. Check out these authors. Give humor writers the love and attention you give other writers. If you help Nat and I become bestselling authors, I promise we will do three things for comedy writers: create an award of some type to bring needed attention to the genre, talk up debut authors struggling to make it, and keep writing our funny stuff. The fate of humor in America may just be sitting on your shoulders (not that I'm trying to pressure you or anything.)

And for goodness sake, lighten up!

Now You've Made Me Angry...

2011-08-10T11:11:00.000-07:00

Somethings just make me sooooo angry. I have a list. (Doesn't everyone?)
Why do kids in high school (they should know better) NOT defend the kid that's picked on? I mean really, so you stand up for someone and the 'popular' crowd might turn their back on you. So? Is it really such a loss? People who bully are contemptible and I don't care WHO they are. Yes, I was NOT a member of the popular crowd. Once you get out of high school, who cares about them? Forge your own way.

Next on my list: drivers who are jerks. I think we can all relate. If you get to your destination 4 seconds sooner, having run someone off the road, or scared 10 years off the life of a mother driving her kids, is that a win? Yes, it's a win in the "A-hole" category for you. Karma will NOT be kind to you, so remember that next time you drive.

Words as weapons. We all criticize, and I must admit, I'm not the most ahem, gentle of critics. But I don't go for the jugular. Some people will stop at nothing more than total destruction of a person's character. I am grown up enough to realize not everyone will like my book Sirenz (written with best gal pal Natalie Zaman- have to give her credit too!), or my own works, whether articles, books, editorials, blogs, yada. Or me personally. Hey, I don't like everyone I meet either. But I don't shove in the knife and twist. I believe in 'Turn the other cheek' AND 'Karma's gonna catch up with you.' If you have to be that nasty, I really feel sorry for you; you must be one miserable person.

Laziness/Incompetence. Ah, the lazy days of summer. It's a phrase about relaxing, taking a break. It does not mean not doing your job, then giving people grief because you couldn't care less about the job or others. I've worked at McDonald's, Burger King, prestigious law firms, restaurants, business offices, newspapers. I tried to give it my best. Sometimes it wasn't a good fit for one or both of us. But no one can accuse me of not trying or not caring. It's not the job- it's the person in the job that determines success.

Abusive people. I think it's almost a universal given that people who harm children, innocent people, animals and the environment are a waste of cytoplasm. No excuses can justify it.

Bad grammar. I mean, I know I'm an uptight English fanatic, but everyone should know the difference between affect (verb) and effect (noun). The same with how to make plurals and possessives (it's means it is, its mean it possesses. Spelling- people, there's Spellcheck. It's there for a reason. Please don't ignore it. Our school system bypassed grammar & spelling for a number of years in favor of some stupid 'whole language' program (I'm being critical here), and we have scores of kids who write so poorly, I'm spending THOUSANDS of dollars on private tutoring to help my son score well on the SAT's and be a better writer. I tolerate bad spelling from Nat a) because we're partners and she picks up my mistakes b) I don't know if she can help herself c) gives me something to gloat over and d) I'm saving (hopefully) millions of readers English angst when they read her/our stuff.

Air conditioning. Really. Hubby cranks it so high I NEED A BLANKET IN A HEAT WAVE. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I'm one of those people who revel in 85+ degree weather. Humidity? Oh stop complaining, it's good for the skin. Bunch of babies. Rather have this weather than freeze my freckles off in winter. I am so moving to St. Thomas when I'm rich. You can keep your cold, damp weather. I'll come back for Christmas snow, then see ya in the spring.

Over-done technology. Do we really need so much junk on our phones? Twitter? Facebook? Apps? I'm drowning in trying to keep up with all this stuff. By the time I learn it, it's old. Gone. Useless. And the changes aren't for the better; Twitter 'unfollows' people I want to follow. Facebook gives out personal info I haven't authorized. Vista (enough said). Takes me so long to get to contacts on my phone because I have to go through so much junk! I miss my Razor phone... My brain is burning out. All I want to do is type some stuff on the social media, and write books. I do not want an advanced degree in computers, social networking, Java, Microsoft, Droid...

Spam. I do not want to hear about Male/Female/Asian/Over 50/Black/etc. singles. One husband is enough, thank you. And I would not trust anyone I do not know to fix me up anyway. And I do not want insurance, cars, vacations, psychic readings, info about Viagra lawsuits, or ANY of that stuff in my spam folder. Go Away.

Continuing on the technology theme, I do not want to authorize strangers from any company, utility, store, credit company, mortgage/bank company to take money from my account. We've had our credit card 'compromised' three times, and our bank account once. (Luckily it all worked out, no losses.) I would rather write the check, even though I have to drop the mail in the post office to prevent mail thefts. (Yeah, that's happened too.) Stop asking me to sign up for direct payment. And STOP with the junk mail in the bills! (See spam above.)

I feel better knowing that I've shared with you, friends and strangers, what makes me angry. It may help you navigate our friendship or meeting to avoid these things. Although this is only a partial list, I've spent all my angst and feel too chipper/relieved to continue. (And there are more. I don't want to scare you or temperance forbids me to rant & rave overmuch.)

So have a pleasant day without any of the above mentioned anger-inducing scenarios, and talk to ya later!

Be Careful What You Wish For...

2011-07-20T23:19:00.000-07:00

The intro to my blog talks about living a dream--SIRENZ, co-written with my best friend Natalie Zaman, debuted in June. Yay! But along with the published book, I dreamed of being a 'successful' writer. You know how that goes; doing interviews, having people ask me for my autograph, giving other writers advice, selling lots of copies, and maybe walking the red carpet on premiere night when the movie based on the book debuts.

Well... in order for that to happen, you have to do the work. It didn't end with the writing of the book. Or the numerous revisions. Or getting the agent. Or selling the next two sequels. Or signing 250+ copies at Book Expo America. Or throwing the launch party with cake by Buddy Valastro, having 'Hades' appear to tease and tempt our guests, and greeting everyone on the line out the door. Or doing radio and TV interviews, blog tours, Twitter and FaceBook posts, and guest posts. Or putting together bags of books and swag. And looking for the next promotional must do.

There's a price to be paid for a dream; the sweat and determination to make it come true, the persistence to stay with it to keep it moving forward, and the realization that it may be more, or less, than we bargained for. SIRENZ may never make the bestseller list or win an Academy Award. Or, it may become so popular that we lose our privacy and normal lives. Dreams take on a life of their own, going where they will, dragging us along. It's kind of like having children, another dream I thought might not be possible. I went through medical tests and procedures, heartaches and pain. What I didn't consider was that the little bundle of happiness would turn into three bundles, argue over cleaning their rooms, damage my car, scare me with broken bones, scream they hate their brother/mother/father/best friend, and graduate with honors, earn a third degree black belt, write something that showed promise, take care of me when I had surgery, and give me a hug without me asking for it. See where I'm going?

When signing the book, I usually write: "Be careful what you wish for..." because you just might get what you want--along with some things you don't, and others you didn't know you wanted until you had them. Like the characters Meg and Shar in Sirenz, we can't foresee the results of being given our dearest wishes.

But that shouldn't ever stop us from dreaming...

Dressed to the Nines

2011-07-04T22:48:00.000-07:00

I'm going to take a little detour here from writing. (Trust me.) In our book SIRENZ, our two characters Meg and Shar get into scrapes and trouble all because of fashion. For the want of a shoe, they cause tragedy, to undo it they make an unholy deal. Clothes figure largely in their lives and difficulties. But at least they make sure they look good no matter what mess they're in.

Too bad it's not like that in real life.

Shoddy jeans with holes, an ill fitting ugly shirt and scuffed boots.
Shorts and flip flops.
Over-sized brown frumpy capris.

What do they all have in common besides being fashion horrors? They were all outfits people wore to my mother-in-law's wake AND funeral.

Are ya freakin kidding me??? To pay their RESPECTS, to COMFORT the family, to HONOR this lovely woman, they dress like they don't give a s*&).

SHAME ON YOU. I mean, seriously? These are the same people who look better when they go bar hopping than they do going to church. (I've seen too-tight sweat pants on Palm Sunday.) Someone needs to smack you people; your grandmother, your guidance counselor, Clinton from TLC's What Not to Wear.

And it doesn't stop there. Jeans with a sport jacket to a wedding shows you're a lazy slob who couldn't bother to get your suit cleaned. It's not chic, it's PATHETIC. (See the example Hades sets in SIRENZ. He would throw you to his three-headed dog Cerebus for dressing that bad, but even his dog thinks you look too awful to chomp on.)

So the lesson here? People notice things like this, and they TALK about you, laugh at you behind your back and point you out as an example of What NOT To Do. They tell their children (because I know I do it with mine), "Don't be like that loser!" So dress like a grown-up, like a person who cares how he presents himself, and like a person who has some pride.

'Nuff said.

Letting Go

2011-06-14T21:36:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated in a while--Sorry--but it's been a little crazy here, you know? With SIRENZ debuting at Book Expo America-and seeing 300 people line up to get a signed copy-well, it's been a whirlwind. Then there was the NJ Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators annual conference. I was presenting and signing. We were informed that besides a key note speaker, SIRENZ sold more books than any other. Then there was the actual debut day-with so many people on Facebook and Twitter wishing us a happy book day. This past weekend was NJBooks 2011, where again Nat & I were on panels and signing.

And then there's this weekend; Thomas' graduation party. Both he and SIRENZ are my babies. And I have to let them both go, free to fly away. When he brought home his graduation gown, I choked up. "Don't cry until the ceremony, Mom" he said. It was hard not too. While it was with joy that after grooming SIRENZ Nat & I could let the book be edited, revised, covered and sent out, it won't be the same with Thomas. Some joy, yes, because he's grown more self confident this year, more mature (notwithstanding the mess he lives in in his room), and a little bit wiser (although not enough to know that if he cleans his room, Mom would be more amenable to Polar Cub or Monster rewards). But there is bittersweet. He is the first born, and while there are times when I check the calendar to see how many more days until he leaves so I know the fighting between him and his brother Alec will cease, it also means the house will be quiet. There will be no more "Thomas! Go get me a chai latte from Starbucks!" or "Thomas, go pick up Alec from track!"

With SIRENZ, the book is finished. The second one, SIRENZ, BACK IN FASHION, appears next year; it's already written. Some revisions and edits, then it will be time to let it go, while Nat & I focus on our other children; SIRENZ 3 (no formal title yet) releasing in 2013, our individual projects and a new middle grade series our agent wants us to start. While they may go hardcover at some point, who knows maybe even TV or movie, those children will be gone, unlike Thomas, Alec and Collin, who will, hopefully, come to visit their mother. As a writer, you become fond of the words, and revising, never mind cutting text, is painful enough. But you have to let go, let your work, your 'masterpiece' travel the world, impact other lives, and age.

And so it is with our children. They are my priceless masterpieces. They will travel, impact the lives of so many other people, and age. A bad or blah review may irk me, but the world can hurt my sons and cause me anguish. I hope the world, and fate, and people are kind to my boys. Books can be replaced, rewritten, revised for infinity. My work with raising my son is almost over.

The book is on its stand in the bookcase. Fait accompli. On Tuesday, Thomas will don his graduation gown, and commence his adult life.

Sign, Sign, Everywhere A Sign...

2011-05-20T22:31:00.000-07:00

And the sign said... That our book Sirenz would get published. Really. So many times Nat & I would see something that directly related to our book, and Natalie said THE UNIVERSE (she used big letters when saying it) was giving us a sign that the book would get picked up. Me-the naysayer and skeptic-wanted proof. So THE UNIVERSE is proving it to me almost on a daily basis. Don't believe? Here's an example of what I mean; Visiting my parents in Albany, NY, we took a leisurely boat ride up the Hudson. Along comes a sleek boat... named Sirena.

Still skeptical? I'm thumbing through the newspaper, and Grecian goddess dresses are now the trend. (Our book deals with Greek mythology if you didn't pick up on the 'siren' theme). Want more? Turn on the tv and it's about the Greek pantheon (Hades specifically, who's a major character in the book. Ooh, almost scary.) There seemed to be so many, we decided to keep a list. Here are some more:

*Driving to Philadelphia to see my surgeon, I pass Castor Street (Greek demi-god who appears in book 2, Sirenz, Back in Fashion).

*Nat & I are Christmas shopping. We walk into a store and see a Starbuck's coffeecup ornament with Nat's character's name on it- Meg. And next to it is an ornament of a big diamond ring in a Tiffany blue box. (Read the book, it'll make sense).

*Swarovski debuts a red shoe charm (seen the Sirenz cover?)

*Benjamin Franklin is on the cover of Publisher's Weekly just as I write him into book two.

*Flux publishes a book by an author named 'Margaret Wiley' which is Nat's character's full name.

*Pandora (the charm store) moves into the mall as we write about Pandora in book two.

It's hard to keep track of them all. And they keep on coming. It's almost as if THE UNIVERSE wants to make sure I'm really convinced that our book will be successful. (Of course a sign that shows monetary success, like being approved for a no limit Amex would be appreciated.) The fact that we're seeing signs that are related to all three books only further convinces me. (We have plans for a fourth, but so far haven't seen any signs, but that could be because we haven't written it, and only have a brief idea what it's going to be about.)

Nat has her own list of signs; some of them I wouldn't notice but she picks up on their meaning. (I'll let her explain it in her blog.) So, besides my family and friends insisting we'll see success, I have the cosmos giving me a little pep talk and morale boost every time I turn around. I'm cool with that; I have the heavens as my personal cheering section.

Sticks and Stones...

2011-05-05T12:44:00.000-07:00

It's every writer's nightmare- THE REVIEW. We hope for them, fret over them, then cry because of them. Very few writers (and I am not one of the fortuitous few) get glowing reviews.

Yeah, your mother always spit out that stupid, lame saying "sticks and stones can hurt you, but words never will." I'm not sure about that.

With the world gone Politically Correct crazy, everyone's afraid of saying the WRONG THING, even if it has a ring of truth.

Except critics. They can sear our souls, devastate our self confidence with a well honed cut. That's their job. Someone's got to do critiques the same way someone's got to empty the septic tank, or pick up dead deer off the road or remove a diseased limb. To us it may seem terrible, but it's a job that someone's going to do.

And, not to defend a gleeful critic, but get over it. You'll survive.

This classic children's book which has sold to many generations all over the world (I was never crazy about it) was described by Eyal Amiran from the University of California, Irvine as "strong schmaltz:" the book- The Little Prince.

His book was labeled "the usual fantasy storyline" with "some depth" and "emotional issues." Doesn't sound like an impressive book to me--except the book was The Lord of the Rings. Gazillions of reprints, movies, tee shirts, video games and what not later, it's still a best selling book. Who knew? Guess not the critic.

Tom LeClair from the University of Cincinnati nominated The Great Gatsby as "the worse novel in American literature." If it was so bad, then why the hell did I have to read it both in high school and several colleges?

Jane, a critic on the website Dear Author, writes"...I wonder how many people would have glommed onto the series after reading this mess of a story..." She was talking about the mega selling Twilight series.

After the enduring the heartbreak of rejection from editors and agents, now you have to suck up bad reviews. It's going to happen. Realize you can find a bad review for any author--from the Bible to Shakespeare to Dan Brown to Dr. Suess. And you can justify the dissing your book got by telling yourself, "They just don't get it" and I believe that. Anything by D.H. Lawrence gives me a headache because I just don't get why everyone thinks any of his boring tomes are a classic. Or, you can say "It was probably a guy/gal who read my story about a gal/guy and couldn't relate. I have to fess up that the Halo apocalyptic series leave me staring stupidly about, dazed from all the killing, maiming, and blowing up, and then shell shocked with the descriptions of all the weapons that kill, maim and blow up.

You can have a hundred reasons why the review was unjustified, unearned, unfair, unsympathetic, uncorroborated, yada yada. But look at it this way; you were NOTICED. There are some New York Times bestselling authors (and I know them but don't ask who), who never got reviewed. Maybe the reviewers thought the work wasn't good OR bad enough to waste their time to review. Ouch.

No matter what, you'll probably come across a bad review during your writing, performing, acting, or any other career where you invite people to express their opinion on how well they think you did what you do. It's part of the publishing game, and I tell myself that talent is in the mind of the beholder. Just because one critic doesn't agree doesn't mean everyone else will feel the same, which happens a more often than people realize. Rave and rant (quietly, in your home, with no one around to bear witness) to get it out of your system. Then keep on writing and promoting and signing your book.

Some of us will just love it.

It's Not Fair.

2011-04-22T07:48:00.000-07:00

The house is quiet. The hubby and sons are off to spend 2 days in NYC, seeing a show, eating at famous places and doing fun things. I'm home sick, hacking and wheezing and feeling like hell. Not even a goodbye.

It's not fair.

I listen to the news and hear about more taxes that we'll have to pay. Congress doesn't have to contribute to their healthcare costs and get outrageous pensions even if they only serve 2 years, and the President spends money that isn't there, but we have to kick in more.

It's not fair.

Illegal immigrants can get in-state tuition rates while citizens like us have to pay the full ride and then some because of loan interest. My husband and I worked our ways through several college degrees with no financial help because of our race, religion, gender, or other aspect.

It's not fair.

People just coming into this country apply for Social Security and so many other benefits the minute they're eligible without having ever paid into the system, which will undoubtedly crash before I ever see a penny of it, no matter what the creative accountants in Washington say.

It's not fair.

When I was 21, a drunk fractured my skull, leaving me with years of operations, pain, debt and anger. He walked away, no jail time, and his insurance policy dribbled out a pittance for all my suffering and hardship.

It's not fair.

My neighbors and friends and family have suffered job losses, uncertain how they will pay their mortgages or send their kids to college, while government and other union workers protest having to make minor contributions to their health insurance costs, enjoying a job security unknown to most American workers.

It's not fair.

Then...

An earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disaster hit Japan. Instead of homes, they have rubble. Instead of family, they have dead.

In the Middle East, women plead for education and basic human rights and are stoned or murdered.

A family down the block spends their days in the hospital by their son's bedside, praying for a cure for his cancer.

Across the sea, believers of minority faiths are murdered and their churches burned because they do not fit a terrorist group's ideal.

So I will stop whining about missing a fun weekend because of a nasty cold. I am recovering, some will not. I am warm and fed, some are not. I have family and friends, some do not.

It's not fair.

Something New This Way Comes

2011-04-13T21:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, something different this time. Once a month, I'm choosing one debut author's book to read and review. I'm serious about it, so don't expect to see celeb trash like Snooki's book. Sorry, dedicated authors only will be considered.

The Trouble With Half a Moon by Danette Vigilante (Putnam) debuted in January. Although listed as a YA (young adult for those unfamiliar with the biz of writing), this gently told story feels suitable for a younger set, 10-14. Told from the point of view of almost thirteen-year-old Dellie, it takes the reader through several months of her life. Dellie lives in a housing project surrounded by people who face issues of poverty, violence and despair. Dellie has her own troubles; she blames herself for her little brother's death. While she and her family grieve, new tenants move in; an abusive mother and her young son Corey, and a spirited older woman called Miss Shirley. Dellie tries to protect Corey, avoid Miss Shirley's questions about her brother's death, repair the betrayal by her best friend Kayla, and foster the blooming romantic interest of Michael. The obstacle in her path is her mother's adamant insistence she remain 'safe' by only leaving the apartment for school, even though Dellie's life is outside her home; friends, school, Michael, and freedom.

Simply written by Vigilante who grew up in projects just like Dellie's, this novel is a safe avenue to explore the dark shadows in life; death, betrayal, despair, violence and injustice-and the enduring human spirit that fights to be happy. And though the main character is a young girl, and a small romantic interest is present, this novel is well suited for both genders because of the many issues that can be opened for discussion. I would highly recommend it for the classroom.

Next review: Exposed by Kimberly Marcus

So Little Time...

2011-04-04T12:20:00.000-07:00

I'm tired. Between routine duties, I sorted through almost 2,000 juice pouches. ??? I mentor the Bridgewater-Raritan FIRST Team 303 Panther Robotics. No, I don't help with the build, even if it looks like fun. I am the Public Relations, Chairman's Award and Green Initiatives mentor. Yep, three different sub-teams. The juice pouches are collected under our Green Initiatives from district schools and shipped to Terracycle, Inc., in Princeton, which recycles them into many different things. It's part of the team philosophy- think green, do green. In return, the team gets a donation. So why am I tired? Well, the juice pouches have to be picked up from the schools, emptied of straws and excess juice (not everyone finishes their juice! I'm gonna tell their moms.), counted, bagged and shipped. Since team members are in school, working on the robot for the next championship, or working on other projects, I do the pouches.

I don't mind, it's just that there are so many other things to do. The public relations and presentation for the Chairman's Award, the highest honor that FIRST (For Inspiration and Recognition in Science and Technology) gives out takes a lot of time, guiding the students, checking on projects that need to be okayed, finished, started, etc. Plus, I play in the bell choir at my church- or, sometimes all three bell choirs, if the younger kids need some backup. Then, there's the making meals and helping out sick friends, Career Day at the high school, judging stories for a contest, and other activities I don't want to bore you with, or make it seem like I'm bucking for sainthood; I have too much devil in me to qualify. Plus, there are plenty of people who do waaaaaay more than me.

My philosophy is everyone should do something that makes a difference, even if it's simply collecting old towels and blankets for the animal shelter, or a $10 check to relief agencies to help out victim's of Japan's triple earthquake/tsunami/nuclear meltdown tragedy. Sure, it's nice for Bill and Melinda Gates to give away all their money (after the kids' trust funds) but how hard is to write a check for something you won't miss? How disconnected is that?

Before I start to sound all preachy, let me say that I do this out of obligation. No, Mom doesn't make me do good deeds, nor do I have anything to feel guilty about because I don't cause disasters or want political favor or whatever. I volunteer for organizations and causes because I like the way I feel when I do. Kind of like Bill Murray in Scrooged. Roughly paraphrased he said that once you reach out to people, you feel good and you're gonna want that feeling over and over. I'm obligated to continue to volunteer for my own selfish want of having that good feeling. And it's part of being human- recognizing that we're all interconnected and dependent. If you're hiking and someone needs a hand up over a large boulder, you're going reach down, right? I feel obligated to be a better person, reach out to others and DO.

You can be sure I'm not under the delusion that all my little acts of kindness, in the scheme of the universe, the world, the nation, the town, or even in a person's life, will amount to much. But it means something to me, that on the craggy trail of life, I can ease the way for someone, who in turn, may help the next person. Reminds me of Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, where Gandalf talks about help unlooked for. Ya just never know.

So get off your duff, commit to doing; where ever your passion, your interest, your inclination or your conscience lead. Gotta go; I volunteered to give a presentation at a writer's conference and it won't write itself.

There's A Hole In My Bucket...

2011-03-22T07:26:00.000-07:00

So much to do, so little time... I don't like calling it my 'Bucket List,' because that just sounds crude and unromantic. Either way, it's different from my Dreams List because dreams are more fluid and are something to aspire to achieve, whereas the To Do List are things to do simply because. Anyone can write a book, so that's a To Do, but only one in a million get published, so that's a Dream. See where I'm going?

On my To Do are: Stand on the rim of the Grand Canyon, then hike down to the bottom (as long as I'm there, I might as well). See Stonehenge (if I could get away with touching it, that's make it a dream). Walk through ancient Greek ruins (if the fighting ever stops). Wear a ballgown (wedding gowns and Halloween don't count.) Go to Mardi Gras in New Orleans (and be sober enough to remember it). Be in Times Square for New Year's (I live in New Jersey, and don't understand why this is proving so difficult. I'll blame it on the family.) Lose five pounds (book tours are coming up, along with summer.) Survive getting my three sons through school, college, and into their first apartment (this one is iffy).Learn to use all the buttons on my phone, camera, computer, DVR, GPS, TV, blog, website, Twitter, FB (seriously, why is everything so complicated?) Get my other books revised enough to please my agent (that's a biggie; may have to transfer it to the Dream List). Balance the checkbook (and prevent husband from screwing it up again). Transform my backyard and pool into an oasis, because with all the things To Do (and this is only part of my list), I'm going to need a place to rest.

Imagine...

2011-03-14T14:15:00.000-07:00

John Lennon's inspirational song makes me fearful for humanity. Really. Going anywhere, I encounter so many people who are enraged, discourteous, selfish and seriously MEAN. It's impossible to imagine people giving up possessions and materialism when they practically shoot each other for a parking spot, or go into serious debt for overpriced goods. And religion, while the saving grace for many a sinner, is used to justify killing and maiming. Lennon's song envisions a utopia that anyone with five functioning brain cells realizes is impossible. So why do we keep imagining it? Why yearn for something that can never be (like me perpetually being a size six with no gray)? No war, no injustice, no harm, no calories in my latte. Not happening, people! Sad, isn't it? Yet, as I explain to my son for the umpteenth time that people are free to make bad choices even if the rest of us have to suffer for them, there is so much that is uplifting about humanity too. When I had jaw surgery, my family, neighbors and friends rallied round. Even people from my church whom I barely knew, sent me texts, FB messages, prayer shawls, meals, and then visited. The human condition is a conundrum; we are our own and at times our neighbor's worst enemy, and then we are shining examples of the superior beings we aspire to be. Confused? Yeah, me too. It's like we're all dual personality people, like Batman's nemesis Two Face. Sometimes we wear the evil face, sometimes the good. Driving in rush hour brings out everyone's evil face and the cute lol cats brings out anyone's good side. (Even dog lovers.) In the end, we all come back to 'The Choice.' Which path will you take during the many opportunities in the day; the highway to hell or the road to higher ground? I'll try to remember I have the option of being a better person, although it's going to be hard if just one more person cuts me off.

That's Soooo Not Funny!

2011-03-03T13:57:00.003-08:00

Watching the Academy Awards, did you notice that most of the top awards go to serious, angsty, tragic, wrenching, despairing (get the pic?) movies? Don’t we have enough of that in our lives already? What’s wrong with letting a funny movie win Best Picture? Sure, it happens once in a while, although I can’t think that far back (I don’t even remember which film won Best Pic last year), but not often enough. If anything, we should celebrate humor more often. It loosens tensions, allows us to poke fun at ourselves and others, and lightens the heavy load of life we all carry.
That’s probably why I write humorous scenes into almost all my books. Guess I’m funny that way; I love humor when it’s really bad. Puns I adore you! I don’t think David Letterman is funny, but I crack up with Jeff Dunham and his Achmed puppet. The Home Alone Movies (except #4, that was dumb), still make me hysterical every Christmas. Laughter, touted as the best medicine, isn’t employed enough if you ask me.
Take books. How many classics are funny? Only person I can think of that had any sense of humor is Shakespeare. Witty fellow that guy. I’m sure there are more, but no one goes gaga over them the way they do the sad/serious/morbid/moody works. What situation cannot be made fun of? I can’t name any; our human condition allows our creative funny bone to see the lighter side, even if it takes time and perspective to do it.
So, when you read my books, don’t expect to cry, be depressed, ponder our pitiful existence or contemplate suicide. Just laugh it off.

What Dreams May Come...

2011-03-03T13:57:00.001-08:00

Dreams are an important aspect of my life; I’m not talking about going to sleep and finding myself romanced by a certain bad boy vampire on TV, but about what I desire most to be happy. At 9, I dreamed about having a cat. That worked out well. At 16, I dreamed of having a fast sports car. Still waiting on that one. Through the years, dreams or actually desires, came and went, either being realized, like love, marriage, kids and my feet to stop growing. Others I’ve discarded; a legal career, a four carat diamond, and staying wrinkle free. (I’d really still like the last two, but reality is so cruel.) There are a few that I hold onto not because they’re the ultimate, like climbing Mt. Everest (I mean really, struggling to the biggest dirt pile on the earth at risk of limb and life? Uh, no.) But, some I hold onto because they define me. My top most dream is to be a successful author. Writing has always been a part of me. It’s in my DNA, although God alone knows where that came from because the only thing anyone in my family ever wrote was a Christmas list or a required English paper (and not too well at that). So now, here I am, my book Sirenz, co-written with my best gal pal (or boy pal or even pet pal, she’s the tops) and published by Flux in June. There are book signings, a sequel, an agent and solely written books being reviewed. My number one dream- just about realized. Almost achieved. Ready to be checked off the list (pending final sales figures; it doesn’t count as a success if only your family and the dollar store buy them). Is that it?
No. As I’ve modified my list (did you think I only had one thing on it??), subtracting, adding, it has become almost a living thing, changing with age (like me). What else is on my list? First, I want my 15 mins. Of fame that cultural icon/artist Andy Warhol says everyone gets. I only hope that I’m dressed, have makeup on, and am not doing something stupid, like choking on a chicken bone. Next, I want some fans, people without a vested interest, to go gaga over my books. I’ve seen bad writers get fans, so there should be some out there who’ll adore me too. (But no hanging out under my window in the bushes; totally not allowed.) Number three is I want to live a long, healthy life. This shouldn’t be too difficult as great grandpa lived to be 97, great grandma 103, and grandmother is still spicy at 104. Go grandma! I don’t do unhealthy things (often), so if NJ drivers don’t kill me, it looks pretty good. After that comes the dream for my sons to live long, healthy, happy, successful lives. Even if it kills them. It’s giving me agita and grey hair. Fifth is world peace. Never happening, scratch that off the list. Another dream is for my husband to stop snoring. Ditto above re: not happening in my lifetime. Finally, (I’m taking the high road here and not being piggish with the wishes), “I’d like to thank the Academy….” Hey, you never know what dreams may come….